Friday, August 19, 2005

Now this is what I'm talkin' about for an IQ test.

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third grade too."

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of the questions, he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Harry: 9.

Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Harry: 36.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third gradershould know. The princ ipal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I thinkHarry can go to the third grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2?
Harry: Legs.

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? (The principal wonders, why does she ask such a question.)
Harry: Pockets.

Teacher: What does a dog do that a man steps into?
Harry: Pants.

Teacher: What starts with C and ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: Coconut.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink, then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubble gum.

Teacher: What does a man do! standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs? (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: Shake hands.

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" questions, okay?
Harry: Yup.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: A tent.

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. (Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.)
Harry: Wedding ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose.

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow.

Teacher: What word starts with F and ends in K that means a lot ofexcitement?
Harry: Firetruck.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in fifth grade. I got the las t 10 questions wrong myself."

2 comments:

Billy said...

HA! That was a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

Ditto to that!