Monday, October 17, 2005


Or how to tell that you’re an old queen.

This didn’t happen to me, but I am hearing it from the person that it happened to….so it’s not like my mother’s brother’s wife’s 2nd cousin’s next door neighbor or anything.

Halloween is coming up so we’ve decided or talked about dressing up this year. I know you’ll find it hard to believe….but we’re gonna do drag.

But the thing you need to know….neither one of us have done drag before! I did play dress-up a few years ago, but I only had a wig on (which gave me a rash) so that doesn’t really count.

The Boyfriend has a fascination with Tiffany’s. That’s Tiffany the jewelry, not the Tiffany that was the pop music diva of the late 80’s.

He loves anything Tiffany, he’s got many pieces of their jewelry and he loves Audrey Hepburn because “nothing bad can ever happen at Tiffany’s” Hint: Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

So The Boyfriend decided that he’s going to dress up as Holly Golightly.

He stopped at a store yesterday on his way home from work to look for some shoes, here was his conversation with the clerk:

The Boyfriend: Hi I’m looking for some Women’s shoes?
The Clerk: Oh are you dressing up for Halloween?
B: No (with a quizzical look on his face) why?
C: (embarrassed) oh, no reason.
B: Yes I am dressing up for Halloween
C: Right this way Sir!
C: So what are you doing for Halloween?
B: I’m going to be Holly Golightly.
C: Who?
B: Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
C: You mean like the song from Deep Blue Something?
B: No, like the movie, with Audrey Hepburn
C: Who?
B: THE Audrey Hepburn
C: I don’t know who that is
B: Could I see these and these in a size 13 please?
C: Right away sir.
C: Here you go sir, my you have big feet for a petite girl like Audrey Hepburn (Ok, The Clerk didn’t really say that I added it myself)
C: Audrey Hepburn, wasn’t she in that movie with that Fonda guy.
B: I’m not sure what one you’re talking about.
C: On Golden Pond
B: No, that was KATHERINE Hepburn
C: Oh, that’s not the same person?
B: No, that’s not the same person
C: Are they sisters?
B: No, they’re not sisters. These are too tight with socks on can I get a size 14?

Based on this conversation you can see how easily the gay youth have slipped away from their roots, how far they’ve gone from knowing their history. It’s terrible when kids nowadays say “Oh yeah I love classic movies like Jaws and ET those are my favorites.” CLASSICS? Jaws (I’m sorry I’m about to say this) is not a CLASSIC in the term of a Classic! Movies made in the last 30 years are NOT Classics (not yet at least).

Oh and in case you were wondering, I’m going as Miss Swan for Halloween.


Andi said...

Are you shaving your goatee off?

I think you are going to look great and I KNOW you are going to post pictures.

You ARE going to post pictures aren't you Michael?


Michael said...

Yes I'm shaving, and I will post pictures.

Yesterday I asked The Boyfriend what he was doing for hair and he said "I'm wearing a hat." I asked him if he was going to shave his moustache and he said no, so I asked about makeup and he said "She didn't wear much."

So I told him great, so you're gonna be a latin boy with a moustache no makeup who just happens to wear a dress and 4 inch heels."

He's shaving too.

Kat said...

Audrey Hepburn was awesome. Breakfast at Tiffanys was awesome. Although my favorite movie with her in it was My Fair Lady, even if they didn't let her sing in it.

You definately must post pictures. Of both of you!

Magpie said...

i can't wait to see the photos, i'm sure you will both look brilliant...i love halloween

and i love Audrey Hepburn, and i was in Tiffanys the other day, just too much choice and so little


Rob7534 said...

Oh dam, I thought Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn were the same person. Does that make a Bad-Gay? Are you sure they're not sisters?!

By the way Kat, when I was in college, I actually met Marnie Nickson, the lady who did the singing for Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady. I met her at a MASTERCLASS she was giving at UICU a few years ago for singers. She was actually giving a lecture on "Belting" techinque. She still has a great voice. She has studio in New York somewhere now that she teaches.

Ms Mac said...

Oh no, I have no idea who Miss Swan is.

Am I banned from your blog now?