Friday, December 29, 2006

Party Time

We're having a little New Year's Eve gathering here at Chateau Jimmy & Michael, so it's time to make up the iPod part playlist.

My iPod makes me sad sometimes, whenever I get new music I have to take old music off. That's a very difficult thing for me to do, I want all my music all of the time, wherever I go! I never realized how much of an impact the iPod would have on my music listening. Before I would listen to the same CD over and over and over (literally see HERE) but now my iPod isn't big enough.

I've got 11,374 tracks on iTunes, that's equal to 31.6 days and 46.64 gigs worth of music. So there are 24 hours in a day so 31.6 days x 24 hours = 866.4 hours divide that by 6 listening hours per day, that's equal to 144 listening days and considering there are on average 20 business days per month that's 7.2 months worth of listening to music non-stop, I don't think I'll ever be able to do that, that's almost 40% of the year.

Damn I need a bigger iPod!!!!!!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Only 3 days left

To finish all of your resolutions that you made for 2006.

I've only got one left - lose 25 pounds, maybe I'll call up Nicole Ritchie and see what her secrets are.

So do you have a New Year's Resolution?

I knew I was a Boy

Check out this site, The Gender Genie, which will analyze your writing and tell you whether you're a boy or a girl!

Whoo Hoo...I knew I was a boy!

Go check it out're not afraid of what you'll discover will you?

Movie Reviews - Two Great, One not finished

We went to see Dreamgirls on Christmas Day, all I can say is WOW. The movie was phenomenal, Jennifer Hudson was terrific, Beyonce was good and the movie did an amazing job of staying "true" to the stage version. I would highly recommend that you go see it, really. That's all of my review, there's enough other people out there critiquing it so I'll leave it to them, instead I want to talk about going to the theater on Opening Day which also happens to be Christmas Day.

The Boyfriend was saavy enough to purchase our tickets online (via Fandango) early in the morning because when we arrived about 45 minutes early for the show, the ticker board was flashing SOLD OUT, when we got inside we split up - me to the Snack Counter and him to scope out seats. By the time I was checking out with my two popcorns and water there were about 30 people in line at the snack bar, whew, we got here just in time! When I got to the theater The Boyfriend had scoped out two places for us to sit - one with reclining seats and one with the "loveseat" feature. We ended up sitting in the loveseats on the aisle, really good seats! We just sat back and watched as the theater slowly and then quickly started to fill up. I always find it funny that people wait to the last minute to get to the theater on opening day, especially when there's a group of 6 and they all want to sit together and get there 10 minutes before the show they really think they're going to sit together?!? The theater was filled with 'Mo's and Women, while we sat comfortably in our seats there were at least a dozen people who chose to sit in the aisles instead of sitting in the front section of seats.

We also watched Little Miss Sunshine this weekend. YOU MUST see this movie, it is fabulous, it's funny, it's endearing and it'll have you scratching your head! We loved it.

We also started to watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.uhm.....well lets just say that we didn't really watch more than the first 30 minutes of the movie. I'm all about comedy and I love a stupid comedy (ala Airplane or Police Academy) but this was just WAY WAY too much, it just seemed like it was all shrieking and yelling and bad southern accents. I'm sorry, I know that I'll probably get booed for this, but I doubt that I'll ever put that DVD in my player again.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

You know you're getting old

Several weeks back I was out having a drink with some friends and as it usually ends up, we start talking about "the good old days" You know, the 80's and 90's, I was lamenting that the poster by the door of the liquor establishment said that you had to have been born before 1985 in order to purchase or consume alcoholic beverages.

Damn - I remember 1985! Really I do! That's what really sucks, I was a sophomore in High School and these kids who are now legal to drink were just being pushed out of their mothers Vah-Jay-Jay! My god am I getting old.

Well of course when it gets to the talk of "I'm getting old" it always gets to the point of "Oh no, I'm younger than you".

My piece de resistance statement went something like this "I was in my 20's in the 90's, I'm not that old." At which point one of the other revelers said, "Yeah , I was in my 20's in the 90's too." So since we had something in common we clinked our glasses and toasted to our good fortune. His next statment almost made me spit out my cocktail (and we all know that THAT is true Alcohol Abuse) "Yeah, I was 20 in 1999"

What did he just say? I looked dejectedly at him and said, "Well I sort of meant it the other way, I was 21 in 1990"

I guess the 90's was a long decade wasn't it? God I'm getting old!

The Boys Are Waiting (scroll down for the latest post)

Introducing Carlos & Billy
Originally uploaded by mlehet.
Well you ask, what are they waiting for?

They're waiting for cards from you so they can try out some of their new poses.

You can not believe how many hours they have been spending at the gym just to get ready for you.

If you would like to have your card featured with the boys all you need to do is send it to:

The Boys
PO Box 408543
Chicago, IL 60640

While they're waiting I'll keep them in separate rooms so they're not constantly doing each other!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

A Lost Christmas Card

Today in the mail I received (probably) the last of the Christmas Cards....the only problem.....I only got the FRONT of the back of the envelope, no card, JUST the front of the envelope.

So if you sent me a Christmas Card, I'm sorry to say that I didn't get it, but I love the sentiment behind it, in fact I'm going to save it and put it with the rest of my cards!

So here's what's on the front of the envelope:

Postmark: Knoxville, TN 379 on 14 Dec 2006 in the PM, it has a 37 Flag stamp on it with the 2 cent necklace up stamp. It was addressed to my "old" address on Ridge and was forwarded to me.

So if this was you, please let me know and I'll send you my new address!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

A Live Blogging Event

Merry Christmas one and all, I can say that because…well it’s my blog and I can say what ever I want, whenever I want…plus I can also say that because tonight I’m hosting my first ever live blogging event from the Midnight Mass at Holy Name Cathedral in downtown Chicago.

Tonight The Boyfriend is making dinner at his new apartment, so along with his mother and his son we’re going to Midnight Mass, this is huge for me, considering that I’m not a Catholic, nor am I religious in any manner…but you know what, that’s not gonna stop me!

So here we go:

11:45 pm – The church is really starting to fill up, it’s hard to believe that so many people are awake at this time of night, usually I’ve been in bed for a few hours drifting into my nightly fit (along with the help of my friend Xanex). I've discovered that at my age, Beauty Sleep no longer helps, I need a Beauty Coma!!

11:50 pm – Oh there’s one of the priests, he’s dressed awful fancy that’s for sure, I thought that priests were not supposed to have any worldly possessions and live a life of poverty…or does that only apply to nuns?

11:55 pm – the choir has arrived, a whole bunch of women in white robes (oh maybe they’re supposed to represent angels or something) and there’s a harpist and there’s a HUGE organ that they just uncovered… know what I mean, a huge PIPE organ…you’ve just got a dirty mind that’s all.

12:00 am – Ok, all quiet on the water front, oh there’s a processional starting, a couple of Altar Boys are carrying big pointy things down the center aisle, all the while being chased by some Priests. Honestly these Altar Boys aren’t all that cute, I don’t understand what all of the controversy is really about?!? Following the boys carrying sticks there’s a priest in a white dress, almost like a bride, but what’s that he's carrying? It’s like a big ball or something….but it’s smoking…..As he walks by I whisper loudly “Father, your dress is fabulous but your purse is on fire.” He gives me a dirty look. The bells start ringing frantically. Thank goodness I’m in the church because if I were a neighbor I’d be calling 911 and reporting them for making so much noise!

12:04 am – the first of many (I’m sure) kneeling down to pray.

12:05 am – Ok, it’s really weird, everyone is talking in unison, it seems as though I’m the only one who doesn’t know what to say. It reminds me of a musical where the whole town comes together to do a spontaneous number but they all know the words AND all of the dance steps…I mean if it’s supposed to be spontaneous why does it look so rehearsed?

12:09 am – Looking through the program I see there’s gonna be singing for everyone, Yeah!!! I like singing. The program is about 4 pages long (not too bad) The first song is "O Come All Yea Faithful" – I know that song. Plus there’s a whole bunch of other things listed here, maybe I should grab the bible and start reading to catch up...I wonder is there a Cliff’s Notes version?

12:12 am – The second verse of O’ Come….did not go over well, I’d never seen those lyrics before and apparently no one else had either, thank god for the choir, once we got to the last 2 lines, we were all back on course again. Oh yeah, the guy behind me is a belter…an off tune belter!

12:13 am – The building is shaking, sort of like when a low flying airplane goes by, I knew this was going to happen, I never should have come. I grab the bible and hold it over my head to ward off the possibly falling brimstone.

12:16 am – One of the choir girls is obviously a little bit more than a choir girl because she’s standing at the lectern with her hands up. Oh, I see, she’s telling us when to sing. Hands go up – we sing, easy enough!

12:17 am – Kneel & Pray

12:18 am – Stand & Pray

12:19 am – Kneel & Pray, thank god these kneelers have cushions on them, but still I’m leaning back and putting my butt on the pew, I’m not as young as I used to be.

12:20 am – Stand & Pray, ok this is getting too much, but apparently it’s even too much for the family in front of me, they look REALLY uncomfortable. Maybe this is their annual trip to Church. Mom looks a little hung over, she’s holding onto the pew in front of her and Dad is still kneeling with his eyes closed, I think he’s sleeping.

12:22 am – Floor is shaking again – ok, once was my fault this one must be for someone else who has made God angry…..oh figured it out, we’re right over the Red Line (The Subway)….whew, so glad that the church isn’t going to cave in because I came in tonight.

12:24 am – Priest is up front giving us the genealogy of the line of Christ, apparently it was 14 generations from this to that and then 14 more and 14 more…I’m confused?!? Who begat whom and became what? I thought it was all just about Mary and Joseph. Flip pages in bible faster to keep up.

12:28 am – Choir girls arms go up again, I don’t know these songs. People are still continuing to talk back to the priest in unison, starting to really freak me out. My mother always told me it was impolite to talk while someone else was talking so I’m just going to keep my mouth shut.

12:30 am – Belter Guy behind me is really off key, which makes it difficult for me to sing as well. In the program the song was listed as “Gloria.” I was getting really getting excited because I love that song from Laura Branigan…oh it’s not that song, it’s the other Gloria. Oh well.

12:35 am – Priest gives blessing tells us to say hi to our neighbors, so shake hands with folks in pew in front (Dad is still asleep I think) and belter guy behind me. Even though he’s loud and out of tune at least he knows the words. As I survey the crowd, come to realize that there aren’t a lot of cute catholic boys. I guess it’s just the girls that are hot in their school costumes – damn!

12:40 am – Choir Girls arms are up, time to sing something.

12:42 am – Priest is blessing the bread and the wine, oh yeah that’s right The Boyfriend said there would be wine tonight, thank goodness because my buzz is starting to wear off.

12:44 am – Everyone stands up and heads to the front for communion, I stay in my seat like a leper, and everyone stares at me as they walk back after receiving their body and blood of Christ – interestingly enough, everyone that’s walking past has their fingers interlocked and holding them out in front of themselves….they must teach them that move in Church school or something.

12:50 am – It’s true, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, now they’re passing the hat, only it’s not a hat it’s a basket on the end of a very long stick. The guy stops in front of me and forces me to put money in the basket. Don’t have any money, so throw in my bus pass that’s worth $5.00. They said the money was going to feed the homeless, now one of them can just ride the bus instead.

12:55 am – Closing time, yeah that’s right, they doled out their bread and wine and got money from us, so time to close up shop and tell us to be good. I'm still waiting for the organist to belt out the theme from Phantom of the Opera - that would be cool!

12:59 am – We’re not the first ones out of the church, surprisingly. But fortunately we’re only parked across the street, shouldn’t be too hard to get out.

1:03 am – At the car, someone has us fucking parked in. I mean for Christ’s sake it’s a church parking lot, stupid people.

1:10 am – someone finally comes to move their car, inconsiderate bastards…oh wait it’s the people that were sitting in front of us.

1:15 am – I swear church people are the most rude fucking inconsiderate bastards in the entire world, people are pulling out in front of us left and right, even though we have the right of way. Thank goodness I’m not driving, otherwise I would have taken us up on the sidewalk and wiped out a few people!

1:25 am – finally out on the street and heading home. All I can say is that fucking Santa Claus had better have been at the house already, because if he wakes me up I will NOT be happy.

Merry Christmas, one and all, I hope that you have a wonderful, happy, and safe Holiday with your family and your loved ones.

**NOTE*** - No Catholics were hurt in the making of this blog post! Oh yeah, and this whole thing was a joke, I hope you know that. We did go to the 6:00 pm session (is that what it's called, I don't know) and the entire event was beautiful, very churchy and very interesting. Hopefully I should be good until next years event!

Friday, December 22, 2006

What is up with Rosie

I swear to god, she must be off of her Meds....what the hell is going on with her?

Now she's in a big fight with Donald Trump, she calls him a bad businessman, he calls her fat and stupid.

Apparently he was on Larry King Live last night and claimed that Rosie only got an Emmy because she was "nice" and that she probably has a very low IQ.....

What in the hell is going on here?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'm obsessed - A Contest

With this Target Commercial:

Well I'm obsessed with the song, it haunts me in my sleep. It's playing all the time and I LOVE IT. I don't know what it is about the song but it just stays with me all of the time. I've been trying to figure out what the song is for ages...with no luck. Well I just found out!!!!!

Here's where the contest part comes in.....the first person to guess, without cheating (i.e. going to google - anyone can do that (I'm the perfect example))

WINS a prize

Honest...if You're Honest, I'll be Honest.

So to win the contest submit in the comments:

Name of the Song/Name of the Artist

Good Luck!!!!

These new gameshows

Has anyone else been watching this rash of night-time gameshows that are all over the TV? There's that really bad one with William Shatner "Show Me The Money" and then the one with Penn called "Identity" and there's 1 vs 100 with-- oh what's his name....but I think the best night-time game show is "Deal or No Deal" with Howie Mandel.

I watch these shows...along with my roommate....and we sit and yell at the tv, just like the rest of America, but there's really one big thing that bugs me about all of them.....

The contestants SUCK. These aren't "skill" games, so the people they find are the ones who are like the peppiest, perkiest, craziest people out there...I mean these people are up there acting ridiculous (or maybe it's just me) but these people are just totally out of control. But what's most annoying is that they're not even "smart" when they have to answer a question or match people up, they make the most annoying mistakes, which makes us just scream at the tv even more.

When we come home for lunch we usually catch the last 15 minutes of Millionaire, thank god because now that the show is on every day 15 times a day, the contestants and questions make me want to jump off our porch! The guy that was on yesterday had to use one of his lifelines on the FIRST question....yep, on the first question!!!!! The guy that was on today used two of his lifelines for the $4000 question, uhm HELLO.....and the question wasn't even hard. Oh my god I had to run around the house to stop from screaming at the guy.

But hey, that's what the networks want us to do don't they? Get mad at the people, interact with the TV and promote their shows for free on their blogs.....shit, just like I did.....oh well!

So what do you think of the new Night Time Game Shows - Smart or Annoying?

Not really TiVO

When I moved earlier this year one of the "new" things we got was Cable....I didn't have cable at my old place (long story short - when I first moved 4 years ago I wanted to get the Phone/Cable/Internet combo, but at that time you had to have an existing phone line that the cable "took over", since I was just moving I didn't have a phone and didn't want to pay 2 installation fees, ergo I never had cable and went with DSL instead...whew)

So we got cable....and along with cable we got the Comcast DVR (we can't call it TiVO because that's a trademarked name) and HDTV (fortunately the previous owners of the condo left us a 52" HDTV it's fabulous).

All I can say is Cable is FABULOUS!!!!! Having a DVR is even MORE FABULOUS!!!!! You can record anything and watch it at anytime....there's nothing better than watching Saturday Night Live early Sunday morning after a good nights sleep!

Even better is the ability to fast forward past the commericals and to the answer part of Wheel of Fortune. I like to play a game where I record Jeopardy, watch it and then invite friends over to watch it again (only I don't tell them I already saw it) you should see their jaws drop!

The only thing I don't like is when you're watching a program and you suddenly realize that you're watching commercials......commercials that you don't need to watch - it's so embarrassing!

So have you TiVO'd yet?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Soft Drinks are gonna kill you

Well they may not kill you, that is unless you're driving down the expressway and you happen to drop your can of Coke which makes you swerve across 14 lanes of traffic and flip your SUV over....but otherwise Coke won't kill you, but it's pretty nasty in itself.

I was surfing around and found this website that tells you exactly what happens when you drink a sugar-ladden can of soda (or as they like to call it here in the Midwest - Pop, you know I never got that, we always called it Soda, when I first moved here I thought people were trying to start fights with me, they'd always say "Hey do you want a pop?" and I'd of course throw my arms up to cover my face and fall down into the fetal position to protect myself, fortunately I got over that).

But really, Soda in general is bad for you, I should know I drink way way too much of it! So take a gander at what happens when you drink a soda pop (see, now that use of pop is fine):

In The First

10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down. (I assume they're talking about a regular 12oz can of soda, not the honking 20 oz bottles that are typcially the only thing available)

20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (There’s plenty of that at this particular moment)

40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dialate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.

45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way. (chocolate works the same way, as I understand)

60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.

60 Minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.

60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.

Here's a LINK to the original article, they've got some other interesting things there as well.

So what are you drinking?

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Ive turned into a suburbanite

Question for you….what kind of clothes do you wear at home when you’re just hanging out?  

Are you a khaki’s and dress shirt kinda person all the time, even on the weekends?  I wear that stuff to work Monday thru Thursday, we have a very very very casual dress code at work, but I make sure that I always wear a nice shirt and pants.

But when I get home from work, I usually throw on a pair of track pants and a t-shirt….I do this almost every day…..

Then I realized, I turned into a suburbanite….I can’t help it, it’s so comfy.

So what are you wearing right now?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Your Astrological Signs Tells How Bad of a Driver You Are

Apparently a study was done comparing people's astrological sign to the number of tickets and accidents they've had.

Here's the list according to

12th place & the best drivers - Leo
11th place - Gemini
10th place - Cancer
9th place - Virgo
8th place - Capricorn
7th place - Sagittarius
6th place - Taurus
5th place - Scorpio
4th place - Pisces
3rd place - Aries
First Runner Up - Aquarius
Grand Prize Winner - Libra

Great, I'm an Aquarius (and admittedly I am a bad driver, but I've only been in one accident and had one speeding ticket more than 10 years ago). The bad news is The Boyfriend is a gemini - I'll never hear the end of that!

So what sign are you? Does it relate to your driving?

Rules Rules Rules

Everyone wants rules but no one wants rules....I tell ya, it's getting harder and harder to live in a free country.

Remember my earlier posts, first about the backpacks and then the airport, well once again rules have come back to bite someone in the ass.

Only this time it's a 13 year old kid who got expelled from school for posessing a gun.....oh wait a minute let me tell you what happend.

A kid and his friend find an pellet gun in the bathroom, he takes it and turns it into they congratulate him and say "Job well done son!" NO.......

Instead they say "oh the rules say that posession of a gun gets you expelled" even though it's not your gun, even though you found it, even though you were on your way to turn it in....nope, you're in posession of it, so you're outta here kid!

So now this kid, who was trying to do good, has been expelled from school....I guess it's the same as kids who get in trouble for having Tylenol because their school has a "zero tolerence" rule regarding drugs....even though it's supposed to mean cocaine, crack and the like.

Rules suck sometimes don't they?!?

Here's the story if you're interested in reading it. I feel bad for the kid.

Why I don't have pets

I grew up on a farm in NE PA, we had animals around, but only a few pets. One of the first things I learned to do was differentiate between Pets and Livestock. We had two dogs a smattering of cats, some cows, pigs and chickens.

You learn right away that Dogs and Cats are fine to have as pets, but Cows, Chickens and Pigs are not sister always had a problem with this. But then again she also thought that Deer were pets too (but then we did have a pet deer growing up as well).

To quote from one of my favorite movies "Babe" "Oh dear, don't you know what pigs are for? They're for eating. Oh I'm sorry, did I say something to upset you?" Yep that's right, cows, pigs and chickens (at least on our farm) were for eatin' not for making best friends.

Every year for Easter our parents would buy us a calf or a piglet and we'd get to raise it for the year and then come autumn time...shoot that guy in the head and eat them all winter. Well granted, I never killed an animal, we always left that up to my dad - who for some reason had no problem killing a cow...hmmmmmm.....I don't have a problem eating it, I just have a problem killing it.

One year when we got calves, my sister got a Blue Holstein or something like that...but the black in it's coat was so dark that it was literally Blue, she named it Selsun Blue.

My sister always had a difficult time eating her 'friends' the rest of us were big old carnivores! Whenever we'd slaughter a cow my sister wouldn't eat ANY meat (even chicken) for fear that it was her cow.

I remember one time a "citified" aunt came to visit, a week earlier my dad had killed one of the cows and it was hanging in the barn to dry out and age(that's what you do, honest) my aunt came in and saw it and asked "What is that?" My Dad told her that was beef, she didn't believe him. She said that "beef comes from the grocery store on that little styrofoam plate." HONEST, she did...I was there!

We did have pets we didn't eat though, we had a cat named Motor - because it purred so much, a dog named Red - because it was red, and a dog named Hair - because it was a poodle and had a lot of hair. I know, not very imaginative names, but I had friends who named their dog Deeojee (d-o-g).

Once I moved away from home I had two cats, but unfortunately due to a room-mates allergies I had to send them to the farm to live - literally they went to a farm, not "The Farm." But I don't have any pets now, my room-mate does, but I don't (We'll talk more about that beast later).

The point of my post today was to warn you about not dying around your pets, especially like THIS GUY please be careful out there with your pets folks!

So do you have a pet? Have you ever eaten a pet?

It's hard bein' a pimp

Oh No
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Really it is!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Being the Emcee

We had our work "Holiday" party last week, of course in this era of total political correctness we can't call it a Christmas party in case we offend any of the muslims, jews, non-christians, etc that may work in our building or who may accidentally walk by on the sidewalk.

Our Holiday Party is pretty nice, it's at an offsite restaurant/banquet hall, the food is pretty good and we always have a charity raffle with bunches of cool presents.

This year, a few hours before the party one of my co-workers (who was on the planning committee) asked me if I would co-host with one of the team members, quickly since I knew there'd be a spotlight I said Sure!!!

Well it wasn't until an hour later that I found out that I was going to be the Emcee and that my co-worker was going to be my Vanna and draw raffle tickets out of the barrel and hand them to me.....uh oh, there REALLY was going to be a spotlight.

Well I'd been looking a little shaggy so after work I ran to the Barber Shop and have them give me a once over with their clippers! Then I had to rifle through my closet and find something appropriate to wear! Fortunately I found my velvet jacket from last year and a pair of pants that didn't have a button missing.

We arrived at the party and I had my two cocktails (but had extra tickets since the lady that organized it knew I was working and would probably need a little liquid confidence). Then we were told that we would have to draw all of the raffle tickets DURING Dinner! Which meant that I would have the wonderful opportunity of not being able to sit at my table and enjoy dinner.

Irregardless (as an old boss of mine used to say and would drive me crazy) I had a great time being the Emcee, I had big shoes to fill though. The guy who's been doing it for the last few years is no longer with the company and I knew that everyone was going to compare me to him. I guess if not everyone in the company knew who I was they did after I got finished!

I told my co-host Vanna that she was lucky she hadn't told me earlier, otherwise i would have had my whole Michael Richards act ready to go!

Plus wearing a velvet jacket had a lot of people touching....err petting me! There is a picture of me over on Flickr where I look like a pimp!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Happy Holidays

Words cannot explain this.....I wasn't planning on watching the whole thing...but I did!

Hollywood Update

Oh yeah, I know you all come here looking for your Hollywood Update!

Apparently Nicole Ritchie (mis-spelling intentional) has been partying like a rockstar, popping Vicodin, smoking pot, drinking booze and driving! Go Nicole. Speaking from authority, it's fun to party like a rockstar...but geez, can't she afford a driver?

Also, that skank Angelina Jolie didn't "intend" to break up the lovely pairing of Jennifer Anniston (mis-spelling intentional) and Bradd Pitt....uhm, yeah hooker! I can't belive that she is only AJ is only 31 years old...oh my god, I feel like an old cow right about now. The best part of AJ's story is when she says " was clear he was with his best friend, someone he loves and respects.” Well all I can say is better hang on AJ because if he did it to fab Jennifer, what makes you think he's not going to do the same thing to you? hmmmmm

Thus ends your Hollywood Update!

Monday, December 11, 2006

What's up with people? Part Deux

To continue my rant from last week....

The Seattle Airport has removed it's Christmas Trees from the airport because it's no longer PC to put up such a thing.

Apparently a Rabbi contacted the airport and told them that they should also put up a Menorah, in fact: "He had hired a lawyer and threatened to sue if the Port of Seattle didn’t add the menorah next to the trees, which had been festooned with red ribbons and bows."

So what did the airport do? Did they cave to this threat of a lawsuit by the good Rabbi? No, instead they said "Ok, then no Christmas at all." After they consulted with lawyers the "port staff believed that adding the menorah would have required adding symbols for other religions and cultures in the Northwest. The holidays are the busiest season at the airport, Betancourt said, and staff didn’t have time to play cultural anthropologists."

Well of course the Rabbi is pissed off now because the airport didn't cave to his demands of including a Menorah. The Airport did what it felt was correct - instead of trying to please everyone, they're pleasing no one.

Well remember Rabbi - be careful what you wish may just get it.

The best line of the article was the last line: “There is a concern here that the Jewish community will be portrayed as the Grinch.” -- Well if people weren't thinking that before, they are now, probably only because you said it first!

Here's the article if you'd care to indulge.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Unboxing - the Quik Pod

Unboxing - the Quik Pod
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Check out my new photo project - Unboxing!

Oh yeah, I really just want to show off my new toy to TBF!

For our Soliders in Iraq

Even though I don't agree with the current situation the US has brought on, I think that it's important that we still think of the people that are there defending our Country. They're doing a great thing, and unfortunately a lot of them will not be with their familes during the Christmas Season (hey it's my blog, I don't need to be PC), so during this time go to

Let's Say Thanks

While you're there you can pick out a thank you to send to one of the soliders currently serving in Iraq. Xerox has agreed to print the card and send it, FOR FREE.

You don't get to pick who it will go to (although there are some pretty hot soliders out there), but you can customize it a bit.

It is FREE and it will only take a few seconds.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if every solider serving received one?

Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...


Why do I do it? I don't know....maybe because it's Friday....and it's been a hellacious week at work...I conducted more than 20 Web/Conference Calls this week, acted as the "emcee" at our Holiday Party last night, I'm losing my voice from doing all of the conference calls, my buttons are falling off my new coat, it's cold here, I don't know why I do it...but I just ate a whole box of these things:

And not the measly 4 pack like the picture...I ate the jumbo size....with 15 of the fuckers!

What did you eat today that you regret?

What's up with people?

What is going on with people....especially the supposed "Stars"

Poor Lindsay Lohan can barely write an "adequite" letter to express her concern with the country because obviously, she has "such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me." Poor Lindsay Oh yeah, and Al Gore's really not sure who she is.

Then we've got Wesley Snipes being arrested for Tax Fraud, and Lou Diamond Philips on probation and doing community service because he popped his live-in girlfriend. It's sad because they say he's "best known for starring in La Bamba" uhm, hello...he also did the King & I on Broadway.

Even worse we've got a mother in Dayton, OH who was just booked for murdering her baby, oh yeah...she killed her baby by putting in the microwave - WTF?!?!? What did she think it was a bag of Orville Redenbacher's popcorn? I understand the whole Dayton thing, but why didn't she put herself in the oven instead (no offense to those of you in Dayton, I'm just kidding - I've been there, it's a pretty town).

But really.....what's going on with people...I guess they forgot that it's Christmas Time...oops, I mean Holiday Season!

Winter Jacket Update

Ok, I bought a new winter jacket not even 7 days ago and two of the buttons on the outside are already loose and hanging by a thread.

You all know how I feel about lost buttons

I don't know what I'm going to do....a jacket is much bigger investment than a pair of slacks!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Oh to live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave

You know, living with freedoms like we do in the United States means you need to put up with a lot of stuff.

You need to listen to people yelling and screaming on the street while carrying sandwich boards exclaiming how this is bad and that is bad...but that's the problem with Free speech works for good and it works for the you can't say Free Speech is only good if you have something important to say, it means you also have to listen to the loonies as well.

Plus, living in the land of the free has a lot of regulations...seriously, do you know how many laws there are regarding driving a car....for a free country there are a lot of rules we need to follow, like having a license, insurance, etc.

There's a school in Virginia who's gotten themselves into a whole bunch of "trouble" now because last year they let some folks use their "backpack mail" system to send notes home regarding their Vacation Bible School first the school said no because their policy barred the "distribution of materials that were partisan or religious in nature." Well apparently the parent who asked this didn't like their "policy" and sicced their local County Counsel on them, and the school was forced to change it's policy.

But uh, some kids want to advertise their Pagan Holiday event....and they're going to do it through the "backpack mail" system......

Oh you know some parents are gonna be pissed off about this one dontcha?

So it's important that you realize, be careful what you wish may just get it, and so does everyone else!

Here's the story if you'd like to take a look at it.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Buying Tips: A New Winter Jacket

As promised here are your Winter Jacket Buying Tips! Whether you’ve already bought your jacket for winter or if you’re currently basking in the joyous sun of the Southern Hemisphere, keep these tips handy. Print them out when you’re looking for your next jacket, you’ll be glad you did.

Remember, to be stylish you don’t need to be frumpy…..

The next time you’re looking for a jacket:

1) Make sure it fits. Not too big otherwise the wind will blow up through the bottom and you’ll be colder than you were before you left the house. If it’s too small you’ll look like a sausage – and no one wants to look like a bratwurst, regardless of how yummy they are!

2) Make sure it has lots of pockets. You want lots of pockets, I mean think about all of the extra accoutrements that you’re required to wear: hat, gloves, scarves, and don’t forget the normal things like cell phone, sunglasses (hey snow has a lot of glare), compact, lip moisturizer, hair brush (because you’re wearing a hat). One of my favorite coats had these extra pockets on the outside below the regular pockets for your gloves.

3) Go for a Zipper. What can I say about zippers…zippers are much better than buttons. Buttons are stylish, but buttons let the air in, especially when it’s blowing 30 mph (that’s 48 kph for our European friends). Even better get a jacket that has a zipper on the inside and buttons on the outside, you’ll stay warm and toasty AND be stylish!

4) Make sure it has gauntlets. You know those things around your wrists. I don’t know what they’re called, but make sure your jacket has some of those tight sweater like “grippys” at the end of the arm hole, it stops wind from blowing up your arms. Nothing worse than having cold arms, especially when you’re trying to hail a cab in the middle of a Nor’Easter!

5) The Neck Hole. Make sure the jacket zips or closes ALL the way to the top, there’s nothing worse than looking stylish in a great new pea coat and then realizing that you have to wear a turtleneck all winter because it doesn’t close all the way to the top!

6) Make sure you can get to your pockets. There’s nothing worse than having great pockets and not being able to access them! A lot of coats come with a handy cellphone pocket on the inside…..but if your coat doesn’t have dual zippers, you’ll find you have to expose yourself to the cold to get to your inside pockets!

7) Make sure it’s warm. Put that jacket on and run around the store for a few minutes, are you really hot? Then it’s perfect! Are you not breaking a sweat, then get a heavier jacket!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Buying Tips: Winter Jackets

Winter has hit Chicago with a vengance, only a short week ago we were enjoying crisp autumn days that were hovering around the 60's mark - a glorius side-effect of global warming - today we're hovering closer to the 20 degree mark! BRRRRRRR

When I moved earlier this year, it forced me to do some housecleaning - primarily going through my clothes and deciding what was not going to make residence at the new place, one of those things to go was "The Winter Jacket"

I'd had my old jacket for a few years and I was tired of it, it was blah and boring and had no sense of style.

Fortunately one of the by-products of dating The Boyfiend has been the unwitting immersion into fashion. I've been forced into buying fashionable clothes otherwise hear the lament of "Oh no you didn't buy that did you?"

I knew I had to buy a new winter jacket so it was forefront on my list. When we went to NYC in early November, my goal was to come home with a new winter jacket, but alas it was not to be. I found one jacket that I liked, but there was no way in this world that I would spend $600 on a I know,$600 isn't a lot for clothes, especially a name-brand well made clothes, but still......that's almost a full month's rent for god's sake! Regardless, after a futile search that included all of the traveling partners, a New York City Winter Jacket was not to be.

And I've been looking since....I wanted to find the perfect jacket, but unfortunately this past weekends events forced my jacket shopping to a premature ending - I had no choice but to find a Winter Jacket. But when 6 inches creeps up on you, you sort of take notice....oh that's 6 inches of snow - you dirty bird!

So I went shopping on Saturday to Burlington Coat Factory - just so you know they're not associated with Burlington Industries (they always have to make note of that - must be a lawsuit thing or other).

Well you know what, this post has gone on too long and I don't want to lose look tomorrow for the Winter Jacket Buying Tips!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Thwarted Again

Whenever I have a good devious plan gets thwarted right at the last minute.

The company I work for has a big location in Cleveland, OH and as you know, our lovely friend Andi lives in Cleveland.

We're rolling out some new stuff at work and some training needs to go on in Cleveland - I wasn't originally included - bastards, but at the 11th hour I was aked if I wanted to go.

But alas, the reason I was going was also the reason I couldn't go! So I almost had an airplane ticket in my grasp when it was suddenly withdrawn....foild again!

Oh, I also found out today why it's great to be a Plus Size Model!

We got our first snow yesterday, today was beautiful so a bunch of it was thawing, but it really just turned into ice.

When I was taking the garbage out I slid on the ice and landed on my big cushy ass! My hands were full of garbage so I landed on my elbows and ass. It pays to be a Plus Size Model!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Say it isn't so

Apparently the Dream Team Trio of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears has already been disolved.

I guess it's true, friendships just aren't what they used to be huh?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Happy Holidays

OMG - we had a Holiday Party the other evening...take a look at what I caught on tape, I still can't believe it!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Handy Kitchen Tips

Do you hate cutting up onions and garlic? Don't you hate the smell that lingers on your hands after you've done your thing?

Well next time, when you're washing your hands, take a stainless steel spoon and rub it all over will totally get rid of the onion and garlic smell.

Apparently there's some kind of reaction between the stainless steel and the acid in the onion....

It works!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

In The Express Lane

I live TOO close to the Grocery store....I'm there all the time. It's so close that I've often stopped in for just a single slice of roast beef. It's too close.

I got home from work early, yeah for having a cool boss, did a few things around the house and said "oh you know, when I was at the Dominick's yesterday, I forgot to get Drano for the kitchen sink....let's go for a walk.

So I have a smoke and out the door.

It's a five minute walk, it truly is dangerous, but the good thing is I only get what I can carry big shopping trips, which means that I always get to go through the Express Lane.

I find it very interesting the "combination" of things people buy when they're in the express lane.

For example, the lady in front of me had:
Frozen Turkey (the key word is FROZEN)
Kotex Tampons
Kotex Maxi Pads
Chewing Gum

She's gonna have a great Thanksgiving, ain't she?

The guy behind me had:
A case of Bottle Beer
A fifth of Skky Raspberry Vodka
Coffee Filters
Coffee Creamer
Dishwashing detergent

I think he was planning on going home, getting wasted on the booze, sobering up with the coffee and then eating the garlic and the onions so that his family wouldn't want to talk with him. I figured the dishwasing detergent was probably because he always ended up washing the dishes!

I had:
Water crackers
Irish Cheddar Cheese
Vermont & Butter Goat Cheese
Piquant Peppers from the Olive Bar

I'm sure the guy behind me was wondering what the Drano was for...especially with all of that cheese!

Here's hoping that you and yours have a wonderful, safe, happy and eventful Thanksgiving Day.

If you're not in the US, Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame goes Crazy at Laugh Factory

I just want to see how much traffic that brings last year when I spelled Jennifer Aniston's name wrong and got tons of hits.

I'm not going to comment on the whole Michael Richards thing because there's a whole lotta other people out there doing a much better job than I can....but did you see the video?

It's jaw-dropping.

Check it out HERE

Oh My God!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

My Favorite Blogger Word Verification

It's reasons like this that we have word verification turned on when making Blogger Comments.

I mean really, how did blogger know? Did one of you tell them?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Aren't you glad you don't live in America

If you did, you'd be able to witness things like THIS, THIS, THIS and THIS.

Could you just imagine what it would be like if these people had to wait in line for food instead of a Sony Playstation 3....oh the humanity.

A Pashmina for Everyone

Apparently Pasmina's are in high demand by the people of New York City. I swear that on every street corner, next to the guy selling charcol sketches of you, was a guy selling Pashmina's! Not just any pahmina's mind you...but pashmina's On Sale as all of the handwritten signs proclaimed.

The interesting thing is they were all $5, everyone was selling pashmina's for $5. It made me wonder if the prices had started out around $20 and eventually worked their way down to $5. I mean honestly, I don't know if I would really pull out a $20 bill on the street and hand it over to someone, I'd be concerned someone would grab the rest of my stash of singles and head off to the nearest strip club.

While we were in The Big City, I told The Boyfriend that I would let him pick out some "sexy" jeans for me and I wanted to buy a coat. Well let's just say that I bought a couple of pair of jeans, a pair of Mavi and a pair of Lucky, I also tried on a pair of Chip & Pepper's which were lovely but cost almost 1/3 of my rent so they decided to stay at Bloomingdales. We were also on a frantic coat search, looking at lovely ones from Armani - for a mere $3000 and Kenneth Coles for a paltry $600, but actually ended up finding one at Daffy's near Canal Street for only $30, and I look pretty snazzy too.

Since I bought a new coat, I got a couple of scarves too....but now I'm in a real quandry, I can't tie a scarf to save my life. While we were in NYC there were all of these people wearing just scarves and no jackets, but they had such great knots on them. The only one I know how to do is the twist, you know where you just wrap it around your neck and stuff it in your coat.

Anyone care to give me pointers on how to stylishly tie a knot in my scarf so I don't choke myself accidentally?

Oh yeah and since Pashmina's were so cheap I bought one for everyone, just stop on by and pick it up.

I started applause

Saturday we went to see the new production of Company as staged by John Doyle - it was so amazing that I can't remember the opening number.

The great thing about this production is that the cast IS the orchestra, no they're not in the pit in front of the stage, all of the actors are on stage for the entire production, playing instruments. Playing instruments while they're acting, playing instruments while they're in scenes, playing instruments while they're singing, playing instruments while they're "off stage" which is really onstage. It was a totally brilliant production, brilliant!

We knew the "gimmick" before we went because John Doyle last year staged a new version of Sweeney Todd with the same idea, the actors as the orchestra, it was pulled off flawlessly.

We were totally enjoying the show, the music, the actors, the lines it was funny it was sad. Before the end of Act One there's a song called "Getting Married Today" about Amy who is afraid of getting married of making that commitment, at one point she's arguing with her fiance giving all the reasons why she shouldn't get married when she says I'm too old, at which point her fiance says but you're only 27 (or something like that) and she returns with "Oh so I'm a golden oldie." There were a few snickers, but for some reason I just thought that was the most brilliant line ever (because it was) and I decided to clap for her because it was delivered perfectly, I was the only one clapping and then suddenly there was a quick round of applause from about half of the audience - I guess they liked it too.....

But the great thing was - I started applause - I'd never done that before!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

TGIFri Day In The City

We left Thursday night, we got the tickets so long ago that the original flight we were on was no longer flying so we got bumped to a later flight….which meant we didn’t get into the city until that much later.  Originally we were planning on having time to go out on Thursdsay but by the time we got to the city it was almost 1:30 am….

Next morning I woke up hungry because the only food we’d had was some munchy things, so I nudged The Boyfriend and said “I’m hungry.” To which he replied, “Well go out and find some.” At first I was a little taken back, but then I realized…It’s New York City on a BUSINESS DAY!!!!  So I threw on my jeans and a shirt and went out in search of food.

It wasn’t hard to find, right across the street were all of these street vendors, one guy had a fruit stand set up, 3 bananas for a dollar, 2 apples for a dollar, a bunch of grapes for a dollar, the kind of stuff you could grab and eat on the go.  Next to him was a guy selling bagels, croissants and coffee, right next door was a guy selling fruit salad and fruit smoothies and getting set up next to him was The Soup Guy…it was fabulous.

So I gathered up our breakfast and headed back to the hotel, only gone 15 minutes not too bad, and I had food in tow, including hot chocolate from Starbucks!

After we gathered our senses we headed out for the day, our goal:  Meeting up with my cousin at The Brooklyn Museum.  Walking out of the hotel we took a left and two blocks over was Times Square and 10:00 am on a Friday – WOW, so many people!  We took a left on The Avenues of America and started walking south and we ran into Prospect Park and then walked by the New York Public Library on our way to Grand Central station where we bought 7 day metro cards and grabbed the F train to Brooklyn.

About 40 minutes later we ended up in Brooklyn where The Boyfriend surprised me by giving me a walking tour of his old neighborhood when he used to live there.  It was very cool to see where he used to hang out.  We walked around Prospect Park, saw the Grand Army Plaza and walked to The Museum.

We met up with Cuz, we had a very warm welcome since the last time we met we were both very small children and now we’re <<cough>> years old.  We chose the Museum because of the Annie Leibovitz exhibit, we got a bonus because there was an installation by Ron Mueck.  We grabbed a bite to eat at the museum, good because we were starving, that breakfast I had foraged from the streets had worn off about 30 minutes before.  Lunch gave us a great chance to catch up on basically EVERYTHING in our lives!

We enjoyed the Annie Leibovitz exhibit, if you know here you know what she does so I don’t need to explain.  The really interesting part of the visit was the Ron Mueck exhibit.  I had read about this guy a while ago so I was really excited to see his work, it’s difficult to explain here’s a good example this woman is totally lifelike, hair, fingernails, the mucus in her eyes, everything is so real….but as you can see in the picture that’s a woman sitting in a chair next to her, she’s HUGE.  Here’s some examples, This guy was so creepy I couldn’t look him in the face, here’s really good scale for the Lady in Bed.

After the museum we parted ways but promised to chat later in the evening after the show.

We ran back to the city, did some quick shopping and went back to the hotel to have a quick Cha-Cha Nap!  Oops we overslept, so got around and ran out the door.  We stopped at the deli on the way out (who knew that this would soon become our favorite eatery in the city) to grab a quick bite to eat and then off to the Theater to see A Chorus Line, we had both seen this show before but we were excited about it!  

We got to the theater with the rest of the audience, I’d forgotten how “electric” Broadway was, it’s so different when you go here in Chicago, you feel so disconnected from the performance.  We had perfect seats for the show, a perfect view!  The show was amazing, I don’t feel a need to review it because there are enough other reviews out there about it.

After the show we met up again with Cuz and had glass of wine at her hotel room before heading out to the bars.  It took us a while to find the first bar and when we got there, there was a line – Fuck!  Oh well, it is New York, right….so we went in search of another bar and tripped upon a different one…finally a safe haven – a gay Bar!  We found our way to the front door through all of the Smokers and headed to the bar.  We stayed for way too long and decided it was time to go home!  We walked out of the bar and headed towards the light at the end of the tunnel.  Well it really wasn’t a tunnel it was Times Square.

It’s overwhelming, even at 1:30 in the morning, lights everywhere but no noise, or not a lot of noise, compared to the day.  Even though we were ones of thousands we felt as though we were alone, it was creepy and cool all at the same time.

You need to go to Times Square, mere words can’t describe it!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

In a New York State of Mind

Well we've been home for two and a half days and I'm just getting recovering from our trip to the Big Apple.

The Boyfriend surprised me for our Anniversary by getting us plane tickets to New York City.

NYC has a big history with both of us, me-because I grew up in NE PA and that really was the "big city" so close but yet so far. When I was in High School we would grab a charter bus in Wilkes-Barre and go into "The City" for the day. For The Boyfriend, because he actually lived there! Yeah, he lived in Brooklyn, how cool is that? I bet you didn't know that did you?

We'd been planning this trip since May so that gave us plenty of time to get all excited about it. We knew the one thing we wanted to do was go to a show or two and enjoy the city.

Well the 6 months of planning worked out well for us....back in June we had heard that A Chorus Line was doing a revival...well The Boyfriend is a dance fanatic and we decided that would be our first I jumped on Telecharge and got tickets, Friday night performance, Balcony Seats, Fifth Row on the Aisle - primo seats.

Then my long lost cuz emailed me and we made plans to meet up, shortly after that we heard that there was a new revival of the Steven Sondheim play Company. The Boyfriend adores Sondheim and I knew several of his shows but neither of us had really "heard" that much about Company. The big thing about this show is it's directed by John Doyle who last year launced a new version of Sweeney Todd - that clinched it, our second show!

While we were flying this summer the Airline Magazine had an article about the Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum - another check on the list.

Two short weeks before we left I read THIS post from JoeMyGod, could it be true, Eartha Kitt had made a return to the stage? I called The Boyfriend, only as a courtesy, to tell him that I had "found" another show to go see, as soon as I purred Eartha's name, he was hooked.

The only thing left to do was pack........and wait........

Isn't 2 years old a little old

To be breast fed? This woman was breastfeeding her 22 month old child on an airplane and was asked to cover up, she declined and was then asked to remove herself from the airplane.

Now I'm all for a mothers right to breastfeed where she wants and when....but isn't a two year old child a little old to be breastfeeding?

I don't have children, and I'll never had children, but by the time kids are two aren't they sorta eating solid food? Come on parents, help me this normal or creepy?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

We're Off To The City

Purse is ready
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
We're ready to go.

Click on the picture to see what it's all about!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

48 Hours

Only 48 hours until we're leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again....hmmm...hmmmm I can't remember the words....but anyway I'm so excited, because we're leaving for vacation on Thursday evening!

In April, we celebrated our 2 year anniversary, and as a surprise The Boyfriend arranged a travel weekend to NYC.

The last time I was in NYC was 2002 with my friend Sam, but we spent most of our time in Jersey City as we were there to help a friend of his celebrate his big 4-0 Birthday. The last time I was in NYC and actually spent some time there was way back in the 80's, I think 1989 was the last time I was there.

I grew up in NE PA, near where the Little League World Series is held every year, we were close enough to NY (2.5 hours) yet still light years away.

We've got a few things planned:

There's only a few "touristy" things we want to do. I've been to NY several times and The Boyfriend lived there for a year or so. So those things we want to do is go to the Brooklyn Museum and see the Annie Leibovitz exhibit and I think the Guggenheim.

We're also going to see a bunch of shows (we're queens of course we're going to see Broadway shows). We're going to see the new revival of A Chorus Line, we're then going to see the new revival of Company, what's with all this "revival stuff"? Don't worry we're going to see something new too, a new play - Mimi Le Duck, we know nothing about this show other than it's co-starring Eartha Kitt so that was bait enough for us to go.

We're also going to meet up with a long lost cousin of mine, we're putting the final touches on those plans now - it's gonna be a blast to see her again (actually for the first time because we were both young children the last time we saw each other) I hope she can pick me out of a crowd.

Keep your TV's tuned to NBC's Today Show on Friday morning.....we're staying only a few blocks away from Rockefeller Center and I have a blank piece of cardboard that I may take with me.

Anyone want anything from New York?

Monday, November 06, 2006

Me and The Big Finn

Me and The Big Finn
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Having Margaritas and Mexican food with The Big Finn --- can it get any better than that?

Big Searches - Poo on Flushed Away

Do you have a site meter? If you don't you really should invest in a free one - I use it's great and it's free.

One of the fun things is that you get to see what keywords people used to find you.

The big winner over the last week has been an iteration of:

"is that poo in Flushed Away"

Apparently my asking that question HERE is the same question other people are asking!

Hey I'm number 5 at Yahoo when you search for Flushed Away Poo.

Oh yeah, even if you have a site meter you still need to register with the Search Engines so they crawl your site.

So what are you doing to draw traffic?

3 Down, Countless Millions to Go!

What do that Ropey Old Bird, Ms. Mac and The Big Finn have in common? I mean besides being great bloggers and all having lived in countries other than the US of A?

Their common link is that I've had the opportunity to meet each of them IRL!

Just this past weekend I got to share a table in a Mexican Restaurant and drink Margaritas with The Big Finn! Yep you read that right, I got to meet The Big Finn in person (and believe me you, he's much taller in person than he looks on the internet).

TBF was in town visiting family and friends and took time out of his busy schedule to meet up and chow down on some yummy Mexican food. We had a great time talking about things that weren't on our blogs and comparing how much life is different between America and Europe. All I can say is that the next time I complain about something - I'll think twice, we've got it pretty good over here!

So now I've had the chance to meet three great bloggers in person, which only means statistically the next person I meet is going to be a total asshole......

Hey, who wants to meet up for drinks?

Monday, October 30, 2006

Wow - What a Weekend

I can't even begin to explain everything that went on:

- Late luggage
- A Toe that was two times it's original size
- A Gusher
- A Cheesecake
- A Packed Airport

I swear it was drama from the start and drama all the way to the end, if it were a paid admission we definitely got our money's worth.

Check out Andi's Pictures HERE

Check out Michael's Pictures HERE

Friday, October 27, 2006

Somethings Coming

This week has been so crazy, well not just this week, the last few months. First I moved back in August, then we had the whole death in the family thing, then The Boyfriend moved, suddenly it's Halloween and it's time for a Housewarming Party!

It's a bittersweet weekend in Chicago, The Amazing Andi is making her regular trip to Chicago, and the boys are all a twitter....the only problem is The Boyfriend is going to New Orleans this weekend to perform for a Circuit Party. He's really sad that he's not gonna be able to party with Andi.

I'm a little concerned though, I think people are starting to talk, Andi and I have seen each other once a month for the last three months.....we've got to stop this because people are starting to question my sexuality, I'll have none of that! The great thing when Andi visits is when we go to all of my "regular" haunts everyone looks at us and thinks "What's he doing with a girl?"

I guess I'm a lot more gay than I thought!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Guess Who's Birthday it is

Michael, Andi & Stella
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Guess Who's Birthday is today?

Nope, not mine, you've still got 5 more months of shopping until mine.

Nope, it's not Ms. Mac's, here's was in May and if you missed it, you'd better go over there and give her a Belated Birthday.

Nope, it's that Cutie in the middle, The Ropey Old Bird herself. It's her birthday.

Jump over and tell her to have a great one!

Flushed Away - The Movie

Apparently Dreamworks and Aardman Studios have teamed know Aardman Studios of "Wallace & Grommit" fame and "Chicken Run" It looks like the mice from Chicken Run have their own movie now - Flushed Away

I don't know the whole premise yet because they're just starting to advertise on TV...but a lot of it is in the sewer....and there appears to be singing and dancing poo.....

Anyone know anything about this movie?

I may have to go see dancing poo, what about you?

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Pirate Queen - A Review

We went and saw The Pirate Queen last night.....we walked out before intermission.

The Pirate Queen - A Review

Well, I guess my first post was a little harsh. I mean we really did walk out before intermission, neither one of us have ever done that before. I never even walked out of a movie!

The show wasn't all bad, I mean did you see Les Miz? Did you see Miss Saigon? Did you see Riverdance? Well if you did, then you saw The Pirate Queen.

The opening number, honest to god, was the opening number of Les Miz only the guys were carrying oars, we were quickly flown to Viet Nam for a touching love song and then whisked back to Ireland for a rousing Irish Dance routine.

Stephanie Block (who was Elphaba in the first touring version of Wicked) has an amazing voice. The costumes were pretty amazing (although the English women looked like they were wearing tables) and the dancing and cheography was well executed.

It was just that the show as a whole - made no sense. The backstory that I read online made more sense than anything that happened on the stage. The show couldn't figure out if it wanted to be a love ballady show or a dance show or a belt out the song kinda show. There seemed to be no transitions between the numbers they just ran one into the other, the only thing changing was the set and the lighting.

Honestly, I was bored about 20 minutes into the show and shut my eyes for a few minutes.....we were almost to intermission when The Boyfriend said "I've had enough" I told him there were only two more songs before intermission, could we wait? Well, when that next to last song started, I had had enough we grabbed our coats and walked out.

As we were walking out we recreated the beginning of "Death Becomes" her when the people are walking out of the broadway was funny!

Oh yeah, we should have known something was up when the souveniors were cheap cheap cheap. This year I decided that I was going to get a magnet from every show we saw, typically they're around $5 and pretty nice....the ones at the Pirate Queen were two dollars and looked like someone printed them out on the HP printer in the box office.

Sorry if I seem mean, but I just didn't like this show at all.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Guilty Pleasure

I have a confession to make....I hope that you won't think bad of me when you find out what I have to tell you.

I only watch it do it once a week and it's not like I go searching for it, it just happens. I only go to it when everything else is old and boring. For some reason it intrigues me, I don't understand it.

It's not like me at all to like those things, but for some reason, which I can't undestand, I'm drawn to it, like moths to the flame.

I hope that I can stop with this obsession, if my friends found out they would truly ostrecize, laugh at me and whisper about me at parties.

How can I stop watching this SHOW

Oh I know, it's because I don't watch Sisters and Brothers and when I press the down arrow button on my remote instead of up it's one of the first programs that comes on. I think it's the boobies.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I've seen it all

You know how people always say "Oh I can't leave yet, I haven't seen it all"

Well guess what....I've seen it all!

Go to YouTube and search for keyword: SMOKE

I can't believe that there are actually videos of people smoking....just smoking. Not eating and just smoking....not watching tv and just smoking.

My most favorite though is this one:

Smoking....and no audio!


***UPDATE - Five minutes later**** Oh my god, I'm so confused. Check out this guy:

He's got several videos and they're all of him just smoking. AND the fucker has like 16 ratings on each of them....I'm so confused....I think I need to go to bed!

Wow, you've got to check this out

Is this just not the coolest?

Apparently it's true!

So I guess the old axiom - "It's Better to Ask Forgiveness Than Permission" holds truth. Becuase now Kim Jong Il is "sorry about the nuclear test." HERE

Well, all I can says is Thank Goodness he's sorry...could you imagine what it would be like if he weren't?!?

Oh yeah, so this is gonna be my mea cupla from now on...go ahead try it. Apparently everyone will accept it too!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Goodbye Grey Slacks

Goodbye Grey Slacks, I can't believe you're leaving me.

You've worn me well through the years. You came to me in 2002 from the Burlington Coat Factory. I was looking for a "costume" for my 15 year High School reunion, when I saw you for the first time you jumped out of the clothes rack at me. You made me look so nice that evening, along with a blue houndstooth short sleved shirt and a rust sports jacket, my Mother said I looked so handsome that night, all because of you.

You made me look great that night in front of the 25 people who showed up for the reunion - hey we only had 48 kids in our graduating class so a 50% turnout was wonderful. You did a great job during the whole "coming out" incident which was started by the class Lesbian, and even though I had you scotch guarded in case anyone threw cocktails at us (the highest point of Alcohol Abuse if you ask me) you never needed it!

After the party you did a great job of matching up with many many other pieces from my closet, very rarely, if ever, did you complain about what I tried to match you with. You were the perfect shade, you matched everything from black to brown, stripes to paisleys and patterns to solids.

I remember all those times you came home from the cleaners, you looked so wonderful, so young and crisp and a beautiful crease down your front and perfectly hemmed cuffs - you were the definition of stylish. You were always the first pair of slacks I grabbed - regardless of what the other pants told you.

Alas, your button came off this morning when I went to put you on, I know it wasn't your fault - it was mine. If only I had visited the Buffet one less time perhaps you may have not exploded like you did. But like I learned from my Mother - "When a button comes off, it goes in the trash" And we all know that Mother Knows Best!

So this is goodbye, I'll miss you Grey Slacks!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Breaking Up

Oh no, don't worry, The Boyfriend and I are not breaking up, I just wanted to get your attention.

So are you in a loveless relationship? Are you tired of your current lover? Do you hate confrontation? Well if you answered yes to these questions you need to check out this website:

The great folks over there have made it easy for you to break up with your lover, all you do is select a breakup message, enter your name and a phone number your message is delivered right to your soon to be ex-lover!

I was going to try this out as a joke on The Boyfriend but then I thought better of it!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The Altar Boyz - A Review

Last evening we saw our last show of the Broadway in Chicago series - The Altar Boyz.

It was actually much better than I had anticipated. Earlier this year The Boyfriend went out and bought the soundtrack, so we could bone up on the songs, etc. I listened to it maybe 2 or 3 times - it was ok, but nothing that fabulous! The songs were just ok, nothing catchy, nothing that I found myself humming, I listened to it so infrequently that I actually took it off of my iPod to make room for new found glories!

Well, let's just say that seeing it live was MUCH BETTER than listening to the CD. MUCH MUCH BETTER! The show isn't that long, only about 90 minutes without an intermission.

The story is about these 5 guys that are a Christian Boy Band - the characters are: The Leader, The Doofus, The Ethnic, The Gay and the Jew. There were some really clever lines in the songs and in their dialog (it was purposely ((at least I hope it was)) very much like an infomercial where they were going over the top in the delivery of their lines).

Of course everyone laughs at the gay boy....he's so flamboyant but no one really sees it except the audience. At once point they go get a girl from the audience and sing a song called Something About You....makes me want to say no (to sex), 4 of the guys are on one side of the stage standing in a line singing this song to the girl with the gay boy behind her and the gay boy swoons because they're singing to him.

My other favorite part was during the song "Rhythm in Me" they're singing about how Jesus put the rhythm in me so I could dance/sing/etc and the gay boy has a few "solos" where all he sings is "Put it in me" it was FUNNY.

I would rank this on the level of Putnam County Spelling Bee but not as good as Avenue Q.

Come Out Come Out Where Ever You Are

It's National Coming Out Day

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Boyz, A Pillow & A Queen

This week is going to be filled with an extraveganza of Theater!

The Boyfriend and I are now 2-year subscribers to the Broadway in Chicago Series (I know I'm such a name dropper aren't I) Surprisingly, tickets aren't as expensive as you would think.

Tonight we're going to see Altar Boyz - I hope it's better than the CD. I've listened to it a few times but it just hasn't "grabbed me" if you know what I mean. I felt the same way about The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee before I saw the actual show - after that I fell in heavy "like" with it.

Saturday we're going to The Steppenwolf to see The Pillowman. The Boyfriend got these tickets last week, I've never even heard of this show. I've been to Steppenwolf several times, and they have wonderful productions so that's something to look forward to. **Update** Since, we're traveling back to PA this weekend, we're going to postpone this - the lovely folks at Steppenwolf were nice enough to give us a voucher to see it on another day.

Finally, next week we're going to see The Pirate Queen from the team that brought you Miss Saigon and Les Miz as well as the team that brought you Riverdance! It's actually the "world premier" of this show, so we've been a little excited about it, but there's not really been any "news" about it. We haven't seen any reviews yet, I haven't heard any of the music, I don't know what the plot/storyline it shall be interesting. I just hope it's not a bunch of people dancing around on a revolving stage while their feet look like they're barely attached at the ankle during the whole time a giant pirate ship is descending from the ceiling - I mean come on that's been done before folks.

Monday, October 09, 2006

United Airlines Really Needs to Train Its People

See, I told you, a day can't go by without using that word.

I called United today to make travel arrangements to go home to PA this weekend. My Uncle that I went to visit a few weeks back passed away yesterday morning, he had been a lifelong smoker and died from lung/brain cancer. I'm glad that I got to see him a few weeks ago, we had a wonderful visit and although he looked totally different, and for the first time ever - an old man, he still had the same sense of humor and joking way about himself.

So I called United today to make travel arrangements for The Boyfriend and I to go home this weekend......

Fucking United Airlines has outsourced their reservations to India. I'm not gonna go on about how wrong that is...that's not the issue...the issue is that the girl who helped me had no idea what she was doing or the type of call that she was handling.

I told her at the onset of the call I was arranging travel for the funeral of a family member. She gets all of my details and comes back with a fare of over $500 for each ticket....whoooo.... So I ask her, if that's the fare for bereavement at which point she says "What kind of fare?" in that same perky voice.

"Bereavement, you know like when a family member dies and they have a funeral." Then she told me to hold...when she came back she told me the fare would be less but only about $125 less, so we proceed through the rest of the call, confirm, credit card number, yada yada yada and while she's waiting for my credit card authorization she has the nerve to say "Sir, would you be interested in applying for our United Visa card which offers an introducto..." that's where I cut her off with a curt "No, thank you" she even had the audacity to continue on with her spiel saying "you could earn 75 thousand..." "I'm really not interested in a credit card right now," I politely told her.

So I got my confirmation number and was ready to hang up the phone when the girl says in the same happy tone "Sir, did I fulfill all of your travel needs today" "Yep you sure did," I told her, "And you sure follow your script don't you?"....she responded with a quizzical "huh?" and I hung up the phone.

I've worked in Customer Service for years now, and almost all of it has been phone based, and I understand the need for a script and to follow it....but come on people, train your CSR's to have a little bit of compassion.....if I wanted to talk to a fucking robot I would have done the transaction online....but I can't because you can only do bereavement fares on the phone and they charge you a $15 fee to do that.... I've talked to all kinds of people in all sorts of situations.....hell this one time I even had a lady tell me that her husband had just handed her a request for divorce and she was still at work placing orders....I felt so bad for her....we sat and talked for aabout ten minutes and didn't even place an order....but not little Miss United Airlines....not that I was expecting a pity party from them, but the least the lady could have done was at least sound a little reverent instead of perky perky perky and try to upsell me on their fucking credit card. I've ranted and if I rant much longer I'll probably keel over myself.

United Airlines Really Needs to Train Its People

See, I told you, a day can't go by without using that word.

I called United today to make travel arrangements to go home to PA this weekend. My Uncle that I went to visit a few weeks back passed away yesterday morning, he had been a lifelong smoker and died from lung/brain cancer. I'm glad that I got to see him a few weeks ago, we had a wonderful visit and although he looked totally different, and for the first time ever - an old man, he still had the same sense of humor and joking way about himself.

So I called United today to make travel arrangements for The Boyfriend and I to go home this weekend......

Fucking United Airlines has outsourced their reservations to India. I'm not gonna go on about how wrong that is...that's not the issue...the issue is that the girl who helped me had no idea what she was doing or the type of call that she was handling.

I told her at the onset of the call I was arranging travel for the funeral of a family member. She gets all of my details and comes back with a fare of over $500 for each ticket....whoooo.... So I ask her, if that's the fare for bereavement at which point she says "What kind of fare?" in that same perky voice.

"Bereavement, you know like when a family member dies and they have a funeral." Then she told me to hold...when she came back she told me the fare would be less but only about $125 less, so we proceed through the rest of the call, confirm, credit card number, yada yada yada and while she's waiting for my credit card authorization she has the nerve to say "Sir, would you be interested in applying for our United Visa card which offers an introducto..." that's where I cut her off with a curt "No, thank you" she even had the audacity to continue on with her spiel saying "you could earn 75 thousand..." "I'm really not interested in a credit card right now," I politely told her.

So I got my confirmation number and was ready to hang up the phone when the girl says in the same happy tone "Sir, did I fulfill all of your travel needs today" "Yep you sure did," I told her, "And you sure follow your script don't you?"....she responded with a quizzical "huh?" and I hung up the phone.

I've worked in Customer Service for years now, and almost all of it has been phone based, and I understand the need for a script and to follow it....but come on people, train your CSR's to have a little bit of compassion.....if I wanted to talk to a fucking robot I would have done the transaction online....but I can't because you can only do bereavement fares on the phone and they charge you a $15 fee to do that.... I've talked to all kinds of people in all sorts of situations.....hell this one time I even had a lady tell me that her husband had just handed her a request for divorce and she was still at work placing orders....I felt so bad for her....we sat and talked for aabout ten minutes and didn't even place an order....but not little Miss United Airlines....not that I was expecting a pity party from them, but the least the lady could have done was at least sound a little reverent instead of perky perky perky and try to upsell me on their fucking credit card. I've ranted and if I rant much longer I'll probably keel over myself.

Do you hate the "C" Word

You know the word I'm talking about....there are only so many words in this world that can be described as "The X Word" (replace X with a letter i.e. The F Word).

Now granted, I LOVE the F word, for some reason it has invaded my normal everyday language, I don't feel well unless I get to use the F word at least once a day, even better days are when I get to use the F word in a sentence like "F you, you F'in F'ers" but alas I digress.

So do you hate the "C" word? You know the word I'm talking about, it really is one of the foulest words out there....well if you sometimes feel as though someone really deserves the C word you could instead call them a Squaw.

According to the Coeur d'Alene Tribe in Idahoe, Squaw refers to female, did you know that? I had no idea!

So now when you get really pissed off at that lady in front of you, instead of spewing out the worst of the worst words you can instead call her a squaw and feel just as satisfied.

Here's the story

Friday, October 06, 2006

Oh My God, I'm on the Internet

***UPDATE*** I hate the f'in Internet....of course the ONE day that something exciting happens to me is the ONE day they don't post a blog entry....I swear I talked to Norm....We talked about Fall and Halloween....oh well....

I was perusing through my list of blogs today and on one of my regular reads I found a link to Ring My Bell.

Basically you call number between the hours of 11:00 am PST and 12:00 pm PST and have a chance to talk one on one with the days "host", well just as I was reading the post the clock flipped over to 1:00 CST - which meant that it was 11:00 am PST, could my luck really be with me?

So I called the number.....I pressed 1 to agree that I was over 18...and I got connected to Norm Korpi! AND I was the first caller, can you believe that shit!

Don't ask me who Norm is, I don't know - it says he was on MTV's Real World which means I'm 37 and he's probably 22...but we chatted about Halloween Costumes and a few things going on in Chicago...he seemed really nice!

I guess it'll be there for a while so go check me out....I'll post the permanent link later when they post it.

Thanks to KB for the link - btw, KB & his BF live in Chicago - KB knows The Boyfriend and KB's BF lives in my neighborhood....yet we've never met - how twisted is that?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Don't worry I'm still gay

Wow, everything has been kicking my ass lately!

All is well though, it's just been so overwhelming the last month or so, actually it's been a whirlwind since the beginning of August when Andi and I went to Madison.

I just wanted to let you know that even though I've been super busy I'm still gay!

The Boyfriend and I are going to NYC in November (I'm so excited-more about that later though), and today we bought tickets to a show! Actually it's the second set of tickets that we bought, we bought tickets months ago for A Chorus Line and today we got tickets for Company. I know both revivals, go figure! See, I'm still gay.

I'm really looking forward to the trip, the last time I was there was 1989 almost 1/2 a lifetime ago, wow that's pretty sobering! Damn, I'm old! But even more exciting than the trip is that I'm going to get to meet up with a long lost relative - how much fun will that be?

So anyone have any tips for NYC? Where to go? What to do? Anyone want to give us a tour while we're there? Honest we're not hillbillies, just ask Andi& Stella

Sunday, October 01, 2006

A few videos to share

This reminds me of Shirley Q. Liquor...have a gander:

Here's another one

Now I just need to find me a black drag queen and we can start making videos too....anyone know anyone?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Cellphones & Flying

This past weekend I flew back to PA to visit with my family. I flew into the Allentown Airport (ABE) - it is such a small airport that the food court consists of a Subway sandwich shop and a bar - hey it's two places so that makes a "court"

My sister lives in Allentown so I flew in there instead of of Avoca (AVP) - now THAT is seriously a small airport, there's only three gates there and you get to walk out to the tarmac to get to your plane.

Come to think of it, I've been in a lot of small airports this year, AVP, ABE, SCE and GSP, actually it's sort of fun to take commuter jets (at least I think so) yeah they're noisy as hell but there's not a lot of people and the flights are usually pretty short.

Regardless, I flew home late Monday night and the flight was probably half full, and considering it there were only about 50 seats on the plane that wasn't a lot of people. But there was this annoying man sitting in the row in front of me opposite of where I was sitting (so I could see everything he was doing). When we were boarding in Allentown the flight attendant actually had to tell him to a) fasten his seat belt b) put away his computer and c) turn OFF his cellphone (only because he was yaking into it loudly after she had already announced that they had to be turned off).

When we landed the fucker actually turned on his cellphone before the wheels even touched the ground! What an annoying little fuck. Then he was on the phone again talking loudly screaming over the sound of the engines trying to slow us down!

Then when we actually got to the gate he jumped up as soon as the seat belt sign was off and rushed to the front of the plane (even though he was in row 9).....I actually got a little laugh though, as I was deplaning, he was still waiting for his suitcase! Oh yeah, and he was wearing a suit and tie and freaking sneakers?!? WTF is up with that? If you're gonna do the suit/tie thing why wear sneakers? It makes you look like a "RE" (Andi - you know what I mean).

So my question to you can you take an airplane ride that's less than 2 hours and be out of communication? What the heck did we all do before cellphones?

Whew - I'm done...I've got to go take a nap now!