Thursday, March 30, 2006

My House Smells Like 7-Up, Part II

As you may remember from this post where I regaled you with tales of my proclivity for fruity incense and the reason why I burned my last stick.

One time I went over to the Walgreens and bought incense, I know I know why would I ever think of doing that. Walgreens is the place where you buy the Jesus and Mary Candles, you don’t buy incense there.

To buy good incense you have to go to a “head shop” Now unlike when I didn’t know why the called the John “The Head” I do know why they call it a head shop……oh wait, no I don’t…anyone know why they call the place where you go to buy stuff to smoke “tobacco” is called a Head Shop?

I think Head Shops are hilarious, I mean everyone in the world knows why you would be buying one of those little vials and spoon, it is most definitely not because you’re planning on going to your daughters Tea Party, yet they won’t admit what they’re selling.

Well legally, they “can’t” admit what they’re selling because if they did that then they would be promoting an illegal drug and goodness knows no one would ever do that…right? So instead they sell rolling papers and pipes and glass pipes and bongs and vapo’s along with poppers and lube and condoms and sometimes adult oriented material such as videos and or “toys” but the whole time they’re saying the devices can only be used to smoke tobacco.

When we were in Columbus we went to this Head/Video/Clothing/Magazine Store and they had signs up that said “If you say any of the following words you will be escorted from the store: coke spoon, bong, pot…..”and went on to list the words that were on the “banned” list,

It was too funny because I could see some queen going, “Now all you do is take that big bud of weed that you got, you know that really good shit you got from Hawaii and how it made us all munchy and we ate that whole box of corn chips, well what you do is you take that big old bud, oh yeah bud, yeah you know I really prefer smoking pot to drinking because all that beer is just empty calories and that’s just bullshit man…bullshit…but so you take that big old bud and you put in here and you turn this and dude out rolls the biggest fattest doobie you’ve ever seen.” So they’ve got to tell people the words they can and cannot use.

But to really get some good flavors of incense you have to go to a Head Shop, and the only place to really do that is down on Belmont, there have got to be 4 Head Shops within a 2 block area down there, so you know they got some good shit going on.

So Sunday I jumped on the train and went down to pick up some new scent-sations! There’s one store I really like, but I can never quite remember where it is along the “strip” of stores so as I was looking for that one I found another one that looked fairly new.

Of course they had the whole set of accoutrements like any good Head Shop so I headed over to the incense booth…..but somehow got sidetracked by the Lighters.

I don’t smoke but I LOVE lighters I mean I LOVE LIGHTERS, now not the plain lighters like Bic but the “unique lighters” Whenever I see a really different or unusual lighter I have to really contemplate buying it. In fact I love lighters so much that I actually have a box that is filled with them. The Boyfriend smokes so sometimes I like to be all suave and pull out a lighter to spark his cigarette for him so I like to have a lighter around.

Well I didn’t find a light but I found the coolest gadget, it’s called the “Lighter Leash” it basically is one of those retractable “badge” holders that you clip to your belt and pull out your badge when you need it and then snaps back to it’s place on your belt, it’s one of those but it’s got this rubber grommet on the end that slips over the end of a Bic Lighter so you can be all Suave in the bar and pull up your lighter and let it drop back to your belt clip…I’m so excited I can’t wait to try it out.

Well geez this has gone a little long, I guess I’ll have to make this a Three Poster!


CanadianSwiss said...

I love the idea of the lighter leash. At least, when you give someone a light, they won't walk away with it!

Michael said...

CS - are you a smoker?

xmichra said...

a lighter leash... i swear Michael, you would go to extreame legths to wear a leash in this PC society..hehe

And a head shop is called that because it catters to 'pot heads'. As far as I know. Could be wrong, but that's my assumption.

Michael said...

XM - have my share of leather (chaps, harness) but I've never worn a leash......just to set the record straight : -)

Kat said...

I don't think we have head shops here. I should ask someone who would know. I bet there is one somewhere near UT. lol I usually get my incense at New age type shops.

CanadianSwiss said...

Yes, Michael, we both smoke. That's why I know so much about ending up with either more lighters than I left with oor then, coming home empty handed :-)