Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Catholic Church a be a Changin’

Who ever said that Catholic Church was in the dark ages?  Well apparently they’re changing, no homo’s are still bad and if you have an abortion you’ll go to hell, but they are changing nonetheless!

Last week it was announced that they’re making “changes” to several of the ceremonies, prayers and even the Act of Penitence.

I know very little about the Catholic church, I mean the last time I was in a Catholic Church was for a wedding.  Boy talk about your pomp and circumstance, the costumes on those priests were to die for.  All I remember is that lead priest walking down the aisle in this fabulous red frock carrying an incense burner, amazing.  As he walked by I said “Gurl, I love that dress, but your purse is on FIRE!”  He just looked at me and stared, how was I to know?

But really, they are changing….for example:

- The exchanges between priest and parishioners that now go “The Lord be with you”/”And also with you” will become “The Lord be with you”/”And with your spirit”.  So what are they taking the priests out of the completely?

- In the Nicene Creed, the opening words “We believe” will become “I believe” – I guess they’re trying to make it more personal…I guess if you say “we” you can say it and not really mean it, huh?

Oh here’s a good one:
- Before Communion, the prayer “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you” will become “”Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof.”  I guess the church wants you to take it home now?

But here’s my favorite:
- The Act of Penitence, in which sinners now confess aloud that they have sinned “through my own fault” will include the lines “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault.”  Well you know they say that to change a habit it takes 30 days to perhaps the Church is figuring if you say it three times every day for 10 days you’ll be on the easy road to heaven.

Well, I guess we know what the Pope’s been up to.  Here I thought he was just doing Soduku this whole time!

Oh yeah, I know I’m going to hell, no need to remind me.

2 comments:

Kat said...

lol. You have a talent for making the most ordinary things seem really funny.

xmichra said...

ordinary, and boring things more funny hthat is! I didn't even LANCE at that headline. hehe. you are a card Michael.