Monday, July 31, 2006

Treasure Hunters on NBC

Have you seen this new program? It's a bad rip-off of that CBS show The Amazing Race.

Well tonight's episode proves it:

Boys are stupid, girls are smart!

I concede.

Shake Your Groove Thing Baby

Are you in the mood to dance?

Well I'm terrible at it, I'm the worst dancer in the world...don't believe me?

Check THIS out and tell me what you think!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

We're gonna get TiVO

I'm so excited, when we move we're going to get a TiVO. Typically I'm a "cutting edge" kind of guy, but I've been putting off getting a TiVO because I don't have cable.

Yes Boys & Girls, lock up your children - cover your eyes, I don't have cable!

Long story short, when I moved in this apartment the phone/cable thing didn't pan out so I never got cable installed.

But don't worry, I get to watch plenty of TV, we have the four major networks, two PBS stations, a couple of independents, I think at least 2 spanish channels, all in all, there's a lot of TV on....not quality TV but TV.

Since I don't have Cable I wouldn't buy a TiVO because you can't experience it without cable...and I was not going to get cable just for TiVO.

But when we move, we're going to get cable....and cable modem.....AND a TiVO!!!!

The Boyfriends room-mate got a TiVO as a present last year for X-mas, and it is the best thing in the whole world. I just go over to The Boyfriends house to watch TiVO now....

Some of the first shows I'm going to program are going to be:
That's So Raven
Phil of the Future

Alright, who wants to fess up to watching TV programs that they know they shouldn't?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Apartment is rented

I'm so excited - I found someone to rent my apartment and I also set up my move date with the movers! Yes, Movers!

A long time ago when I was a mere child, I had a wise old friend give me two pieces of advice. He told me that I would not understand the advice at my tender age, but when the time was right and I had become the "proper age" it would all make sense to me. I would like to share that advice with you:

When you reach the proper age: "You will no longer drink "well" cocktails. Although it was cheap when you were in your twenties, you will no longer drink the Popov Vodka in the decorative plastic gallon bottle. You will forever after only drink Premium Blend Liquors."

When you reach the proper age: "You will no longer move your own belongings when changing living situations. Although it was fun in your youth to spend a hot Saturday afternoon moving to a new fun filled house, when you reach the Proper Age you will realize that was just stupid you will forever after realize that's why you hire movers."

Please use this advice wisely! It may come in handy next time you're ordering a cocktail or moving in with your S.O.

How Much Is Gas?

I just walked back from breakfast and BOY is it hot out there, supposed to be in the mid-90'sF with heat indices of 100+F.

I did my grocery shopping and eating for the day and now I'm gonna sit in front of the TV and/or the Computer and do nothing, just like I do in the winter when it's -35!

On my walk back from breakfast, and before I turned into a piece of bacon myself, I saw that gas at my local "high end - because I'm in the city" station was charging $3.44 a gallon.

How much is gas where you are?

Just Heard

As I'm sure you are aware - gasoline prices are stupidly high and the oil companies are making huge profits.

On the news today I heard this quote:

"Oil companies make more profit in 30 seconds than the Average American family makes in a YEAR"

Is that just not ridiculous!

Friday, July 28, 2006


Has anyone else seen the episode of Aquaman (link takes you to iTunes Music store - it opens iTunes)?

Aquaman is HOT and I'm usually not into hairless little boys.....

So what do you ladies think?

Popularity is Fleeting

Well I guess the old adage is true....popularity is fleeting!

As you may recall, earlier this week I posted my apartment on Craigslist to see if I could find someone willing sublet my apartment. I thought an innovative way of doing that would be to build a blog page - pictures, text all the gory details.

Along with that I used my Site Meter to track the traffic.

I posted the ad about 8:00 pm on Tuesday and got 33 hits that day. The following day I 90 hits with 7 return visitors, WOW! But by Thursday the excitement had faded, I had dropped to only 28 hits, and only 4 return visitors, today I'm sad to report that it's only been 9 - and one of those was me showing it to someone here at work.

Oh well, at least I can say "I WAS popular" at one time!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Bunnies doing the Brokeback

Have you seen this

A Comment that deserves it's own post

Early today I was regaling you with tales of having to wake up in the middle of the night and reset my circuit breaker (or just scroll down it’s the next post).

I got this hilarious comment from The Big Finn, please read along with us:

During the hot weather (we being w/o air condo), I drink liters of liquid during the day to keep from dehydrating. Inevitably, that means that I'll have to wake up between 2:30 and 4:00 A.M. to "squeeze the weasel". I actually enjoy that time of night. I struggle out of bed, do the old-man waddle (bad knees) out of the bedroom to the toilet, sit there (I was raised to sit when I pee) thinking am I really on the toilet or am I stille asleep and dreaming and really peeing in the bed, and then doing the one-minute shake to avoid leaving a trail back to the sweet-ass-sweet bed.Wow! All this takes place in the middle of the nigh, and I manage not to wake up Mrs. TBFt? Who knew?

Is that not the funniest thing you’ve ever read?  I guess I find it funny because it sort of describes me a little bit too….I guess we are all the same?

If you’re not familiar with TBF please stop by and pay him a visit LINK

4 AM Drama!

Sometimes, if I drink too much before I go to bed (WATER I mean, not booze) I may have to get up in the middle of the night to relive the built up tension, so I always try to limit my intake of liquids after 7 pm, just to make the night go more smoothly.

Well this morning at 3:55 am, I woke up and knew I had to go to the bathroom...damn! As I'm walking to the bathroom in a daze I realize that it's awfully quiet in the I'm walking back to bed I suddenly realized WHY it was so quiet....The A/C had tripped the circuit breaker!

Damn Damn Double Damn!

Now, I've got a big A/C unit in my window, about 6000 BTU, that puppy keeps my apartment cooled down to comfortable temps for me. The only time I've ever flipped the circuit breaker is if I try to run the dishwasher and A/C at the same time (which makes sense) and one time when I turned the AC off and didn't wait the requiste 3 minutes to do so (when it says wait three minutes before turning back on, they mean it).

The problem is, the circut breakers are not in my, I've got to go down four flights of the back stairs, break into our grimy basement and find the breaker box...but to do all of this, I had to put clothes and shoes on!

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! So now was I not only awake, but I was dressed and awake at 4:00 am. I knew I had to go reset the circut breaker otherwise it would be stifiling in a few hours.

So I threw on the clothes, grabbed my flashlight and trudged down the back steps. My neighbor on the 2nd floor was in the shower, so at least I wasn't the only one that was awake - I wonder if he gets up that early everyday? I entered the basement and cried out and did a little dance to scare any possible rats away (you never know, it is a basement afterall) found the breaker box and reset the circuit.

By the time I got back to bed I was fully awake, I'm gonna wake up in 2 hours, should I just stay up? Fortunately I was able to get back to sleep.

So I wonder, did I really have to pee or did I wake up because the A/C went off? Oh and guess who slept through the whole mess?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I continue to out gay myself

I continue to out gay myself
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Every day I say to myself "Michael, how gay can you be today without being too gay?" And every day I answer back, "I don't know, let's find out!"

Well I continue to out gay myself with my addiction to office supplies. Wow, two posts here talking about addictions and fetishes, what kind of blog has this become?

Seriously though, I've always always had a soft spot for Office Supplies I don't know why that is?

Recently my team won a contest at work and the prize was an American Express Gift Card, since I won it in a contest I figured that I should buy something that I wouldn't normally buy. So I got to thinking, what could I buy....oh I know....A Whiteboard!

Do you have any idea how expensive White Boards are? It's outrageous, the office size ones are in the hundreds of dollars and the more economical ones are like 2'x3' I can barely get my thoughts on a piece of paper there's no way I could brainstorm on something so small.

Then I remembered that when I went out to the trade show in Pennsylvania in May that the Post-It lady was there and she had a roll-up White Board. I remember looking at that and saying "Wow, that's a great idea."

So that's what I's a 3M Post-It Self Stick Whiteboard Sheet, it's got the black border on it so you don't go screaming along on your notes and end up writing on the wall...and it's got that Post-It glue on the back to hang it....apprently it keeps the sticky a long time.

My other recent Office Supply Whore purchase was a Dymo Labeler, not the cool manual one like I had growing up but a real electronic labeler. It was on sale at the Red Dot Boutique I'm so excited about it that I haven't even used it yet...I wonder what I'll label first?!?

So I've already asked about your let's go one step further, what's your addiction?

The Apartment

Wow, I guess it may be easier for me to find someone to sublet my apartment than I originally thought.

I've not had the site up 24 hours and I've already gotten 116 Hits! Hell that's more than I get on this site in a couple of days...but then I guess here I'm not a hot commodity like an apartment : -)

I was seriously thinking that this was going to be a mind boggling experiment which would have me pulling out my hair in the end, but it's turning out pretty well so far.

I have 8 people interested in it already. One person emailed me about an hour after I put it up, she and her boyfriend should be here in about 15 minutes (I hope he's hot!). Another girl is coming at 7:15ish and I've got two people that want to come tomorrow.

I have a feeling that this first girl might be the one....she seems very enthusiastic, I'm guessing that she just moved here from California (because that's where her cell phone is from) and she's looking for a safe place to live.

Well keep your fingers and toes crossed!

This might actually work out!

**NOTE*** I just looked further into the stats, she's been to the blog 14 times today, I think she likes it!

Melissa Etheridge

The Boyfriend and I went to see Melissa Etheridge on Saturday Evening.

Let's just say, we were some of the few boys that were there....I swear it was an estrogen event...Missy is gay and she's got a big dyke-o-licious following.

Now I love my girls...but you have to understand...Lesbians are the same as Gay Boys. Gay Boys are the "girls" of the gay world and the Lesbians are the "straight men" of the gay world. It all evens out see.

The Lesbians were the ones that used to pick on the Gay Boys in school because they were bigger than we were.

Regardless, we saw her at The Auditorium Theater which is amazing, to give you an idea of it's size....we walked up two flights of stairs to get to our seats....there were two more flights ABOVE us! We were in the last row of the first balcony all the way on stage left almost up against the wall. Not good seats for a show, but great seats for a concert.

I'm not a huge Melissa fan...The Boyfriend gave me a few of her CD's but she's not my full cup of tea. she's sort of like Rufus Wainwright - I like him, but I can only listen to him for a short time. She's the same don't get me wrong, I like her, but I don't seek her out.

She is an amazing live performer......I must say though, those lesbians are good on the time, the concert was supposed to start at 8:00 and she came out at 8:10, I guess she wanted to get it over with so she could go home and drink a beer.....unlike Madonna who we recently saw and made us wait 75 minutes!

She came on at 8:10 and sang and sang and sang for more than two hours straight, without a bathroom break, without a costume change, without really taking any kind of real break in between songs other than to chat with the audience.

She's a chatter.....she comes across as though if you met her in real life, she would sit down and just start chatting with you, she seems totally down to earth.

Her voice is great, but it's sort of an acquired voice.....I actually found it easier to close my eyes and listen to her sing instead of trying to watch her perform....The Boyfriend thought I was sleeping but I wasn't, I was concentrating. She has one of those voices that you have to focus all your energy on to process, but when you do you're rewarded with a beautiful sound.

I only know the "popular" songs and she sang a few of those, but most of the others were lesser known hits.

I really enjoyed her, in fact I enjoyed her more than Madonna....whereas Madonna feels the need to put on a huge show with fireworks and videos and dancers....Melissa is quite the opposite...she has a very plain stage, only one moving piece of the set, no back up dancers, no video's...just her and her band. In that regards, I think that Melissa Etheridge gave a much better performance because it was just about her, she wasn't trying to distract you with everything else.

Go see her...go buy her music.....but if you become a lesbian, don't blame me - you probably had it in you all along!

How Projects Work

Someone sent this to me, so I don't know who to give credit to, but it's Brilliant!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Make A Sign

Go Ahead

Do you have a song fetish?

Do you get hooked on one song? Do you have to find as many different versions of just that one song? Do you have to look to obscure websites to find a different version of that one song?

Well I admit it, I've got a song fetish. There are just a few songs that I really really really enjoy and I'm always on the lookout for a new version of it.

A few of my big favorites are:

Send Me An Angel - originally by Real Life in 1983. Right now I have 10 different versions of this song, everything from a hard hard rock version to a girl rock version to a techno trance version.

The Neverending Story - originally released in the movie of the same title, this one I have fewer of - only 5 different versions.

A Put A Spell On You - by Nina Simone (I think I'm not sure) in 1964 the song was written in 1956, I've got 10 versions of this one as well. This is an easy one to find though because it's old and EVERYONE who does blues/jazz does it! It's a great song!

So I know you've got a fetish.....come on....fess'll feel better.

Did I tell you.......

I'm MOVING! So if you know anyone that lives in Chicago and is looking for an apartment...send them my way.

I'm going to be moving about 4 blocks away from where I live now. A great opportunity has come up and I'm gonna jump on it......No The Boyfriend and I are not moving in together : -)

My friend that I work with and I are going to move in together. His brother has this great duplex apartment available and we're gonna take it.

So I need to be out of my apartment no later than 9/30/2006....perferably 8/31/2006 so tell all your to this post if you wanna give me some free advertisements...LOL!!!

Well if you do send someone my way, I made a blog so I could post pictures and stuff...I'm going to go out and plaster the city this weekend with flyers.

If you're interested in the apartment CLICK HERE (or if you just wanna check out where I live)

Monday, July 24, 2006

Lady in the Water - A Review

Since Rob said that I’m such a tease when it comes to my recent movie reviews I figured I should set the record straight….you’re right Rob, I am a tease!

I went to see Lady in the Water Saturday afternoon, in fact I caught the second screening of the day so whoopee for getting matinee prices.  I got there in plenty of time, I was the first one in the theater….so I found the perfect seat: high up, but not all the way in the back, in a chair that “rocked” and directly under the projector – almost the exact middle of the theater – the best for sight and sound!

All of the previews they showed – SUCKED – I honestly can’t remember any of them and none of them were worth remembering, they were all about movies coming out at Christmas time…uhm hello….it’s fucking summer here!

I’ve been wanting to see this movie since I heard M. Night was making another movie.  Now granted his last two movies (Signs & The Village) were a little shaky, but they were still good movies – original concept – not such great scripts – but still original idea that I could wrap my head around and say “yeah that’s possible” plus he always has that trick in the end that’s gonna screw everything up and make you watch the movie over again to catch the secrets (you know what I mean – “I see dead people”).

I didn’t read any of the reviews, I didn’t see any of the preview shows, I was going only because it was M. Night Shyamalan AND Bryce Dallas Howard.  I was figuring that perhaps she’s his new “muse” since she was in his last movie….let’s see what he’s gonna have her do now!  Sort of a la Alfred Hitchcock.

Oh, I should say this:

******** S P O I L E R S   F O L L O W *******************

The movie starts out with a prologue explaining the basis of the story….one set of people, split into land people and water people….land people greedy, want things, cause war..forget about sea people.  Sea people still remember land people and want to help them out they send people from their water to the land people…blah blah blah.

I would LOVE to say some nice things about this movie – oh wait, one nice thing – the special effects on the creature were pretty cool.  I can’t say that it was beautifully filmed – it was set in one locale (an apartment building that looked like it had been built in the 60’s), a majority of the action occurs at night (dark), there were no memorable scenes – the only cool camera shot that I recall is where he did a “vertigo” type pull out/zoom, other than that it was rather boring visually.

Oh just fuck it, I can’t even go on to write a review of this movie – it was utterly unbelievable, there was no way in my mind I could play this so I could believe it would happen.  It just didn’t make sense.
The story was too convoluted but at the same time it never explained itself, and why the hell did he cast himself as a pivotal role in the movie?  WHY?

The whole movie revolves around M. Night’s character but you never would have guessed that, he spends all the time looking dazed and confused, I thought he was high, because I was and I still didn’t understand what he was trying to do.

Basically – The Lady in the water is there to meet someone – a writer, she doesn’t know who it is but she only has to look at him to “awaken him.”

Well she does this and then tries to “go home” but something is preventing her from doing it.  Blah blah blah

They figure out what they need to do, get mixed up, set things right and poof she’s gone…and that’s the END OF THE FUCKING MOVIE.

There was no follow-up, there was no explanation, there was no “showing what would happen in the future.”  It just went cut to black and house lights up…whoosh!  

The pivotal “idea” is that M. Night’s character will right a book, that book will be published and a little boy will grow up and read this book over and over, he will get into politics and become President of the United States and he will start a new evolution in government based off of the book he read growing up.   Uhm – hello – did you ever think that since this was the major plot device people would like a little follow up?  No flash to the future?

It sucked people, don’t waste your time.  There was twist at the end to turn the story around, there was no “symbolism” used (believe me after the last few movies, you look) when you do something well (Sixth Sense & Unbreakable) stick with what you know!

I give it 1 out of 5 Stars, only because I can’t give it a Zero.

I do have a final thought though:  Story tells Vick “Your sister will have 7 children, you will see the first two.”  

I have a thought for you M. Night “You will make seven more films, but no one will watch after the next two.”

Fool me once, shame on you!
Fool me twice, shame on me!

My very first movie

I was going through some of my things, and I came across the very first movie I made.

Three of my friends had decided to participate in a a group of us (8 total) went along to show our support and to get out of the city for a weekend.

This movie showcases our adventures. It's a little long and you're probably not all that interested in the people...but the first three minutes are FABULOUS (if I say so myself) and especially if you like Wonder Woman!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

What Good is a Suit Part VIII - The Finale

On the way
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
***NOTE*** Thank you for putting up with such a "long post" I did not intend for it to span 8 separate posts......but I wanted to share the whole thing with you because it really was a wonderful evening and since I took pictures the entire evening, I knew I had to share them with you. So to take a gander at our evening, check out the photos by clicking on the picture.

Our dinner experience was ending, almost 2 hours after it had started. We reluctantly wiped the corners of our mouths with the cloth napkins and asked for the bill.

Let me just say that this was not the most expensive dinner I’ve ever paid for (the other one was when I invited my friends to help me celebrate my birthday and ended up picking up the check for all of them as a surprise), but it was the most expensive dinner I’ve ever had for two people.

I remember way back in 1985 we went to Las Vegas for a convention, the company we worked for took us out to dinner, there had to have been 8 or 10 of us and that bill came to $500 but there were a lot of people… was just The Boyfriend and me on this check.

But you know what, we knew it was going to be expensive and we knew we wouldn’t be coming here again…so what the heck, plus we were celebrating The Boyfriends Birthday!

The Waiter delivered our check in a beautiful black leather (not pleather like at TGIFridays ((link is noisy)) presenter, oh so classy, that’s when it finally hit me. I inched the presenter open, wanting to look but wanting to look away at the same time. I looked at the total!!! WHEW! Did we eat that much food? Suddenly thoughts were running through my head: Do you think they’ll let us wash dishes for a while to make up for this? I wonder if I could be the “bread boy” for a night? Would it be possible for us to make a run for it?

Fortunately I had anticipated an amount this large and made sure that we were adequately covered. I handed the waiter the Gift Certificate and 4 credit cards and told him how much to put on each one, after every card he winced just a little bit more, hey I wanted to see how good of a waiter he really was! Actually I’m just joking, I would never do that, I only gave him 3 cards to split it over : -)

When The Waiter returned the check he asked if we would require a cab, we told him yes we would love to have a cab, he said they would be glad to call one for us. I was waiting for him to say that the restaurant was going to pick up the cost of the taxi, but those words were never uttered. Bastard!

Quickly our experience was coming to a close, appetizers were long forgotten the entrée was slowly working it’s way through our stomachs and the cocktails had definitely affected our ability to stand upright without assistance, but we knew it would end, just not as soon as it did. Our visit with the Wheelers and Dealers and Chic of Chicago was quickly coming to its final curtain call.

We approached our oh so loved private elevator and pressed the call button. We begrudgingly transferred to the elevator the dirty general public uses and I pushed the lobby button with my finger, the finger that was conveniently covered by my jacket. After experiencing a dinner like that I didn’t want to spoil the illusion of what had just occurred by touching something as common as an elevator button.

As we exited the elevators the night guard bid us good evening and opened the gates for us. As we went twirling through the revolving door, reality hit. Right in the face, like a hot summer day in the south. I couldn’t believe it, it was all over, just like a dream, I tried quickly to commit everything to memory so that I could recall in years to come. But now we were back at ground level with the peons sucking up diesel fumes with the rest of them, oh how I wanted to go back upstairs….but I knew my credit card just couldn’t handle it.

Well, I bet you were thinking that we got out of that place with only a hefty bill and a sweet reminder of the food on our tongues? Well if you had bet, you would have lost….of course I ended up with a souvenir. Whilst I was visiting the Gentleman’s Lounge I fell in love with the paper hand towels they were using. They were almost the consistency of cloth but had the absorbency of a plus paper towel, they were beautiful….so I stuck a few in my pocket, hey they weren’t going to miss them. I secured them quickly and quietly into the breast jacket of my new suit, I had found the perfect reason to have a suit – to steal paper towels with!

As we hopped in the cab and started chatting about the evening, The Boyfriend said “I got you something.” Was he going to pop the question? Was this the moment I had dreamt about since Jr. High School……..he slowly reached into his jacket…and pulled out three more napkins for me. It was truly funny when I pulled out my napkins and said “I got some too.” Who would have thought it. So the towels have a place of “honor” in the bathroom, but really if you ever come to visit don’t use them otherwise I’ll have to kill you. It’s not that I want to remember that night forever….no it’s that each one of those fuckers cost $63.20 each, no one is EVER going to use them.

But hey at least I learned what a suit is good for!

What Good is a Suit - A Review in Pictures

RockYou slideshow | View | Add Favorite

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Wonder Woman

I just found THIS site via THIS guy

Wonder Woman was the only woman (besides my mother of course) that I truly loved. Oh she was such a boys-girl, if you know what I mean.

Wonder Woman came out in 1976 so I would have been 7 at the time....I don't really remember the first year at all, but I do remember at least the 2nd year.

If you recall the entire first season of Wonder Woman was set in WWII. Remember, they were always fighting the nazis and stuff....and when she turned into Wonder Woman she had her clothes in her arm which she then had to hide. Really I think that's really clever because it sort of made her more like us...she just happened to be Wonder Woman.

But then in the 2nd Season they somehow morphed to the mid-1970's and suddenly Steve Trevor was Major Steve Trevor's son and Diana just happened to work with him....and neither one of them aged even though it was at least 30 years later.....very funny how they just glossed over that.

I digress though, I guess the reason I'm waxing such is I read this post on Lori's blog - Thoughts of Laurel. It reminded me of growing up in the country and all of the things we used to do growing up "back then"

I grew up way in the country and the closest neighbor to us was about a mile away. We had no close cousins it was just my sister and me...which was very cool becuase looking back I thought it was perfect. But I remember watching this with a kid who's grandparents lived near us.

He was about the same age as I was....maybe a little younger....but I remember we used to play together and the one thing we did was watch Wonder Woman in his grandmothers house on her TV that was a piece of furniture (remember those old console TV's?) I don't know what ever happened to our "friendship" I think that was a "disagreement" about something because even though we were still cordial to them.....he and I never stayed friends after age 9 or so....hmmm....

Growing up on a farm I remember that this time of year was hay making season....right about now you're getting the first cutting in. You want to let it grow at first so you get a good cut, but you want to make sure that you still leave enough growing season left so that you can get another harvest in before autumn.

Have you ever "made hay"? It's not as easy as it sounds......but what is always funny to me is when people say "let's go roll in the hay!" obviously they have NEVER rolled in hay before. We used to do about 20 acres of hay every summer....I don't miss that at all!

But how the hell did I get from Wonder Woman to Hay?! What the fuck!

Melissa Etheridge Concert

The Boyfriend and I are going to see Melissa Etheridge tonight - this should be good because I know very little of her music.

Lady In The Water - A Movie Review

I went to the 2nd screening of Lady in the Water this afternoon.

I liked it a little bit less (Remember, the key words are "little bit less") than I liked this movie.

I'll write a full review later, because I really do want to comment on this!

What good is a suit? Part VII

Shortly after my return from the Gentleman’s Lounge a waiter approached the table with a miniature table, well a butcher block actually, and started setting it up. Oh no, what had I done? I only ordered a steak! The butcher block was set up with a marble carving slab perched on top along with salt and pepper mills and several carving knives, this WAS going to be exciting! The only thing missing was some brandy and matches to flambe it after it was carved!

Our entrees were served with a just a bit of flair; they presented The Boyfriend with his salmon and me with my steak. They then took my steak back to that chopping board and proceeded to slice it off the bone and into lovely bite size morsels, they surrounded the steak with lovely bright green peas and what I thought at first were tater tots but turned out to be these delectable potato puffs, and served it all along with béarnaise sauce…..yum, béarnaise.

We devoured our meal quickly but I had to force myself to slow down and enjoy this most expensive steak that I’ve ever paid for (I’ve had expensive steak before but someone else paid). We savored every bite. There were moans and oohs and ahhs with every bitefull!

The great thing about the whole experience was that we didn’t feel rushed at all, in fact at some times during the meal we would have wished they would hurry up a bit, but really it was perfect service and perfect timing.

Dessert came around, We had the chance to review what our tablemates were having because they seemed to be one course ahead us the entire time, I guess they had the 6:00 reservations! Suprisingly though looking over the menu, nothing really stuck out as fabulous – do you know what I mean? I was hoping for some extravagant delectable morsel that would top off the whole meal….for a minute it looked like I wasn’t going to order anything, but at the last second I decided against that. I order a Chocolate Fantasy Sampler – five different samplers all made of chocolate…..

The plate arrived with a “bracelet” standing on end in the middle of the plate with a dollop of ice cream holding it in place, surrounding it were four pieces of the most delectable chocolate concoctions I’ve ever tasted, one of them looked like a little tear drop, but when I cut into it, it gushed forth with a flood of warm chocolate sauce!

Now that dessert was done, there was only one thing left to do!

Friday, July 21, 2006

What good is a suit? Part VI

There were so many delicious things to look at one the menu, how on earth would we narrow it down to just a few selections? Our Waiter returned and asked if we had any questions regarding the menu, we asked a few just to pretend, I was surprised to see foie gras on the menu, considering the City of Chicago banned it a few months ago, but alas we didn’t order it, too rich for our tummy’s. The Boyfriend asked if items from the prix frie menu were available separately, they were!

He ordered: a selection of Midwestern cheeses; a mixed seasonal green salad; and a poached salmon.

I ordered: a peeky toe and cucumber cocktail; and a New York strip steak.

As we were looking around the dining room we were suddenly afraid that it was going to be great big plates and itty bitty portions, we were already making plans to stop for dinner after dinner if need be!

The Boyfriend decided it was time to "check out the bathroom" as he stood up someone quickly approached him and asked if they could be of assistance. He was quickly and quietly personally escorted to the restroom. At the same time, someone quickly approached the table and grabbed his napkin, I was about to start shouting "Hey, he's not done with that yet," but I realized he was folding it and putting it back in it's proper place.

I sat there looking at the reflection in the mirror next to me trying to eavesdrop on the conversations around me, but damn it, everyone was talking too quietly. This was nothing like Old Country Buffet in regards to drama, that's for sure. When The Boyfriend returned I asked how it was, he said the bathrooms were just ok, nothing fancy. Geez, for the prices they're charging I expected total glamour.

Since we had an "early" dinner reservation we came hungry, we were hungry when we walked in the door and wanted something to munch on quickly. We figured that there would at least be a breadbasket we could devour, boy were we wrong, it wasn’t a basket at all. The Bread came not in a basket but on a tray served by one of the waiters, the choices were rye, baguette, wheat, roll and a calamata olive bread. He constantly toured the dining room dropping of pieces of bread on plates in his wake, he reminded me of one of those old time girls that sold cigarettes, the only thing he was missing was the strap to hold his tray and a lighter!

Shortly thereafter The Waiter approached the table and laid out our silverware.....oh I see they don't trust you with all of it at once. The appetizers were delivered shortly after, my crab cocktail and The Boyfriends “selection of Midwestern cheeses.” The delivery of the food was quite qn event, His cheeses were delivered on a cooled slab of marble and served with walnut bread, 5 nice chunks (oh sorry, slices - we're trying to be classy), the selections went from mildest to most intense. There was a goats milk and a cheddar but the best was a blue cheese terrine with walnuts. My crab cocktail was chunks of peeky toe crab surrounded by cucumbers and a light dusting of balsamic vinegar, so light you could barely taste it. The Boyfriends salad arrived shortly after. Mixed greens on top of shredded beets and topped off with shaved hearts of palm and parmesan cheese.

About this time I was in need of the facilities, as I stood up someone approached me and asked if they could be of assistance, and I was given a direct tour to the restroom (I figured it was because they didn’t want me just wandering around the dining room bothering the other patrons). Apparently after I left someone swooped over to the table, replaced my chair and refolded my napkin back to its original design. When I returned to the table a gentleman was there to help me push my chair back in.

About that same time Waiter arrived and asked if we needed another cocktail – well ours were empty so of course we were in need of another cocktail!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

I'm So Excited

This Sunday is going to be the BEST DAY EVER!

Why is that you ask?

Because a new Target store - you know the Red Dot Boutique - is opening up less than a mile from my house.

Here's an old satellite picture of the location. There used to be an old K-Mart here, as you can see the K-Mart was on the east side of the lot and the rest of it was parking lot.

Well, the new Red Dot Boutique is taking up this ENTIRE space. They built the new store so that it was as big as the lot, with parking on the first level and the store on the second level. It's supposed to be one of their new "concept" stores, so we're all in a twitter (well, I'm all a twitter)!

A mile away.......I told The Boyfriend that we were going up there at 8:00...he told me that I could go by myself and then come back and get him.

I figure, in your lifetime, how many Target Grand Openings can you go to? Not many I think.

Animation vs Animator

Check out this, it's pretty cool


BOO - Monster House - A Review

I went to a "sneak preview" of Monster House last Saturday. I don't know what is up with me and opening nights of movies this year? The last time I went to the opening night of a movie was Spider Man and god knows how many years ago that far this summer I've seen the following movies on their first day of opening:
- Superman
- Devil Wears Prada
- Pirates of the Carribean
- Monster House

Monster House was a great movie. Not sure if I would take little little kids to it, but I would probably take The Boyfriends son who is 6....oh wait, 6 and a half!

The movie is not really scary, but I mean the house does eat people so that in itself and can be a pretty scary thing for a little kid, especially one who believes in the boogie man.

I'm sure you've seen all of the previews, I mean it's been EVERYWHERE lately, but the one thing they don't show you there is that someone lives in the house...that's right, it's not an empty old decrepit house, it's an old decrepit house with an mean old man living in it.

The movie starts off with DJ's parents going away for a weekend and leaving him with a babysitter.....DJ and his best friend Chowder end up killing the old man that lives next door in the old house.....and that's when the fun starts and the house starts eating people. I'm not going to give any more away.

The movie was a treat to watch...did you see Polar Express? Well it's the same animation technology they used for while you're watching it you're sort of in the phase of is it real is it animated?!?

The movie itself is very vivid, some of the shots are amazing and you remember that it's animation they can do anything with the camera that they want. Robert Zmeckis and Steven Spielberg are Executive Producers so don't go expecting to see one of their masterpieces. There are hints of them, an homage to Forrest Gump's Leaf is one.

But go see it, I think they said that they're showing it in 3-D in some locations. Apparently this "type" of animation is easy for them to produce in both regular format and 3-d, so we'll probably be seeing a lot of 3-d animated features coming out in the future.

Go, enjoy, and get extra butter on your popcorn!

What good is a suit? Part V

After sitting at our table for a few minutes, soaking in the glamour that was around us….our waiter approached and asked if we “would care for some champagne this evening.” Shit we were pegged, hadn’t even been in the restaurant 5 minutes, of course we’d LOOOOOVVVEEE some champagne. He preceded to hand us the wine by the glass menu, we decided on the Kir Royal Alsace Champagne Cocktail and at a mere $20 each. Hell, you only live once right? So that’s where the rest of my silverware was, they were afraid I was going to steal it to pay for dinner. He also asked if we wanted water, but we were onto his little trick and said we wanted tap water – no bottled, no fizzy, that’s the latest scam to pad a bill – sell bottles of water at $10 a pop and open as many as you can. He left and we waited…….looking around feeling as though we were playing “dress up” amongst the adults, we were hoping they would find us out.

Our Waiter returned with a carafe of Chambord and a bottle of champagne --- oh how fancy, he was going to mix our cocktails tableside! He poured a generous amount of Chambord on the bottom and topped it off with a perfect pour of champagne, not a drop was lost. The Boyfriend complimented him on the perfect pour and he told us he’d been doing this for 19 years, plenty of time to practice. After we toasted to ourselves and to The Boyfriends birthday we took a look at the menu, we immediately took another drink of champagne.

The Prix Frie dinner consisting of 7 courses was $96 with a minimum of two per table, a wine pairing was available separately for $84 per person. I could just imagine how much food that would be, 7 courses and 7 glasses of wine, barf! We decided to go a la carte instead and dine off the regular menu like the commoners. The house was the limit, we were not looking at prices and we were not worrying about how much everything cost, we were out wearing our fancy suits and having a fancy dinner, you only live once!

We stared at the menu for a few minutes trying to digest all of the immaculate food that was presented before us.

What would we eat?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Apparently folks in Cleveland can't take a joke

Fiji Water is apparently running a national print ad "The label says Fiji because it's not bottled in Cleveland," boasts the full-page ad running in national magazines like Esquire.

I guess the city of Cleveland is a little miffed based on this article from the Plain-Dealer

Geez, that's really strange, becuase the people I know in Cleveland really can take a joke. It's probably just one person down there that's mad. It's not you is it Andi?


In 'omage (yes I know I forgot the H but I'm gay so....) to a posting from Rob of The World According to Rob, I thought I would share my little parking story with you.

Parking in my neighborhood is a premium, I live on a "main drag" that's two 4 lanes wide and no parking, excpet for about one part that is only 3 lanes and then opens up to 4 lanes and there are about 10 parking spots on that side of the street because it's a "business area".

Well yesterday traffic was a major cluster fuck and there were no parking spots in my regular area so I had to park "on the street". As I pulled around to park, the assholes that were driving were driving in the parking lane because no one was parked there, I guess they felt privlidged for having that whole lane to themselves. As I pulled into traffic (and in fact a gentleman was nice enough to let me in front of him) I got to area where I wanted to park and just stopped. Turned off the key and got out of my car....I walked over to the meter put my money in it and the whole time the guy who was behind me (the nice gentleman who let me out in front of him) was staring at me and had a look of WTF on his face, he started blowing his horn at me and I pointed to the parking meter....and then to the lane he was in to indicate he was in the wrong place and then turned and walked away. I was afraid he was going to ram my car.

The best part of the story -- there were about 15 people behind him doing the same thing, only they were blowing their horn at him and not me.....I love causing traffic jams!

What good is a suit? Part IV

After a quick walk down an impressive hallway, we entered “The Everest Room” and approached the maitre de stand and quietly held our breath. We were quickly greeted and given the once over (Suit-check, tie-check, nice shoes-check) and then verified against the computer to make sure we were on the list. I was happy to say “Yes, we have a 6:30 reservation, and we both wore our new suits, don’t we look hot?” Well I didn’t say all that, I thought some of it, I’m not telling which part was which though. He looked at the reservation and said, “Oh yes, we’re celebrating a birthday this evening.” The Boyfriend looked at me and went ‘huh.’ When I made the reservation the lady asked if we were celebrating an event, I said we were celebrating The Boyfriends birthday (which was closer than my birthday so it wasn’t a complete lie)

As we walked into the restaurant a whole new world materialized around us. A world of the fancy and elite, a world of white marble, tables in odd sizes and arrangements draped with fine 1200 thread count table cloths, overdone mirrors, ornate gold scones, windows along the entire west side of the restaurant, a world like we had never experienced before. The big question running through my head was “I wonder where were we’re going to sit?”

Perhaps there in that perfect table centered in the window? Oh no, not there. Oh no, I hope we’re not at that terrible table against the wall with no view? Whew, nope not there either. How about over there, along the side wall, next to a mirror and with a general view of the city, yes that will be perfect. The table was on an outside wall so we had the opportunity to watch the entire dining room and we had a slice of a view of the city. Well I wouldn’t call it a great view of the city it was actually very difficult to see, I had to crane my neck until I felt it was going to pop off of my body and then turn at a strange angle so I could get a view between the lady, the table and her wine glass. I had to stop admiring the view when her husband gave me the strangest look. Hey it wasn’t like I was cruising him or anything, I wanted to say “I was trying to look outside! I wasn’t looking at your wife’s boobs.” Actually though it worked out well, with the strategically placed mirrors I was able to watch the couple behind us have dinner and talk way too loudly, it was fabulous.

So there we are, two frauds sitting amongst the elite of the city. Now we were really in trouble! As we surveyed our surroundings we realized that the only things on the table were a bread plate and knife, a water glass, a champagne glass, our napkins on a chafer, a sculpture and a salt and pepper well (not shakers, wells with freshly ground pepper and salt directly from the shores of Italy), that was it, where the hell was the rest of my silverware…what kind of place is this? Did they expect to eat with our hands? Was this some kind of high-class Medieval Times?

Well…we soon found out the answer to that question!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

What good is a suit? Part III

Finally, we arrived at the building, well I shouldn’t quite call it “the building” I mean it is the Chicago Stock Exchange and the restaurant is on the 40th floor.

When we walked into the lobby there were barriers up and the guard asked if he could help us. We told him we had dinner reservations, he buzzed us in and the glass gates parted to let us pass through, I suddenly felt “out of my league”.

The guard asked for the name of the reservation and verified that we were in fact on the list, and not interlopers! He told us to take the elevator to the 39th floor where we would take a private elevator to the 40th floor. I guess that instead of having one elevator go all the way to the top they make you change so they can call it “private” and therefore make it more exclusive, I don’t care…. I want the elevator to take us all the way to the top.

We ascended quickly in the elevator and our ears popped, when we got out on the 39th floor we found the “private elevator” and went up one more floor, as we exited we were greeted with a resounding “Good Evening!” That really freaked us out, apparently there’s a hotel up there as well, we didn’t know that.

We weren’t sure where the restaurant was, but we figured it was away from the hotel side of things so we walked in the opposite direction and there a door, cut into the woodwork of the decor welcomed us with the words “The Everest Room” I suddenly felt like Lucy Pevensie at the moment when she walked into the wardrobe and realized that a glorious adventure was soon to occur.

It was exactly 6:30, no time to turn back.

Oh Shit!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

I swear this is not becoming a celebrity blog.....but I just saw a Hanes commercial with Kevin Bacon and Michael Jordan and is it just me or is Kevin Bacon starting to really look his age. I was hoping he would be Flashdance young for the rest of his life....oh no, that was Irene Cara, I meant Fame!

Time marches on doesn't it ladies?

How deluded are they?

Ok, I'm not going to add to the paparazi, but I was just flipping channels and stopped on Access Hollywood. I saw three little "things" in a matter of 60 seconds and two of the three were just redicilous.

1. Paris Hilton made a statement that "Every decade has an iconic blonde - Marilyn Monroe and Princess Di, I'm the current Iconic Blonde" I wonder if she knows what the word iconic means?

2. Mariah Carey (Or as I like to call her Paraih Scarey) has teamed up with Spike Lee to create some vignettes for a tour or something or other. She's going on saying "Oh yes, Jack is in a one of them....blah blah blah...and oh yeah Jack is my dog in case you've been living on another planet or something" UHM HELLO, does she REALLY think that the whole world is following the adventures of Mimi and her fucking dog? Come on is she that deluded.

I switched the channel quickly before I saw anyone else being stupid.

Oh which leads to me my next Post - Why stupid people should not use the self checkout lane at the grocery store!

Oprah doesn't eat bush

According to this hard hitting piece of journalism by the Associated Press, Oprah Winfrey and her best friend Gayle King are not Lesbians!

In the August Issue of O Magazine Oprah writes about her 30 year friendship with Gayle....hey I think that's amazing, to have a friend for 30 years, hell most marriages don't last that long nowadays.

I think it's terrible that people can't just let people be friends....why is it if two guys hang out they're fags....if two women hang out they're lesbians....why does EVERYTHING need to be boiled down to who is sleeping with who...or is it whom, I don't know I never know when to use that?

So what if Oprah isn't married to Steadman.....Goldie Hahn and Kurt Russell aren't married yet do they call Goldie a lezi or Kurt a homo?

The best line of the entire article is: “The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there’s nothing wrong with being gay,” says King.

What good is a suit? Part II

Dinner plans were all set, now we just had to wait. Saturday arrived and we decided to go get my tattoo, which you can read about HERE.

We decided that since we were “dressing up” we would take a cab to the restaurant, I guess The Boyfriend doesn’t like wearing a suit on the CTA?!? Actually I always tease him about taking the train because he takes it to work everyday, whereas I don’t, so it’s much more exciting for me than it is for him. I guess I figure I should ride the train as much as I can since I lived without it for most of my life, I’m making up for lost time. The Boyfriend was born and raised here in Chicago, actually in the city not in a suburb, so he’s not so excited about the whole thing anymore.

Getting a cab in my neighborhood can be a real pain, because we’re just on the fringes of the restaurants, etc. so it’s a crap shoot, we decided that we should “order” a cab so we’d be on time for out 6:30 reservation. Google has this really cool Ride Finder for taxis so I used it out, the lady told me the cab would be there within 5 to 30 minutes, uh oh we were still getting dressed. Five minutes go by and the phone rings “Cab 4321 will be there shortly.” I looked out the window, and damn there he was. Hurry…HURRY….I’ll leave the keys in the door when I leave, I shout…..I’ve got to tie my tie, he’s got to put on his shoes. I’m done first, I run down to the cab so he doesn’t leave, all the while trying to tie my tie. Now considering I haven’t owned a “suit” for almost ½ of my life, I don’t exactly wear ties all the time. I love to pull out the knit ties from the 80’s and shake them at The Boyfriend and tell him I have fashion sense. A little piece of him dies every time I do that…so considering that, I don’t tie ties very well, but running down the stairs I somehow managed to get it tied half-way respectably.

I always thought it would be cool to learn all of the different ways to tie ties You know like the bow tie or the Windsor Knot or even the Half-Windsor with a Twist Knot, but I sorta got over that when I realized why would you learn to tie a tie like that if you’re never going to wear ties. Anyone know how to do those different knots?

Hey, I just realized I actually did a “Windsor Knot” maybe I am a little gay!

Regardless, we grabbed our cab and we’re barreling down the highway when suddenly we stop, on the expressway, in bumper to bumper traffic, about 4 miles from downtown! FUCK! Obviously there was a lot going on downtown and traffic was backed up for miles, the cab driver asked if could take side streets, sure there’s probably not going to be much of a difference.

Even on the side streets traffic was a bear, we went by the lagoon and the Lincoln Park Zoo but at a snails pace, the minutes kept ticking away and the meter kept getting pricier by the minute. It wasn’t until we were almost downtown before it thinned out and we could actually go faster than 10 mph, the time was going by too quickly, we thought we had built in a great buffer zone but when we pulled into the building it was 6:25.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

What good is a suit? Part I

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted, it's been a busy week....and honestly I've been working on writing this series of posts. I'm sorry this one is going to be long, it's about 8 separate posts, but I think you'll enjoy it.

Follow along as The Boyfriend and I descend on a fancy restaurant in Downtown Chicago for dinner.

And so begins the Post........

As you may remember, just a few short weeks ago I bought a new suit, the first one I've owned in 18 years......and I figure if you've got a suit you've got to wear it. I mean really, what's the use of owning a suit if you can't wear it every now and again right? I don’t have to wear a suit to work, thank goodness, and it’s not that often that I get “dressed up” to go somewhere other than a funeral or a wedding, so I had to find some other way to wear the new suit that we got for the Alderman’s Dinner.

I’d been hoarding a Gift Certificate for several months now, just waiting for the perfect time to use it. It was given to me in exchange for a video I did, so I wanted to do something special with it, I just didn’t know what.

The gift certificate was for a restaurant chain called Lettuce Entertain You (get it, Lettuce…Let us…ok….) and it had a list of all of the places where it could be redeemed. Most were ho hum not too “out of the norm” but several of them stood out, the first one that hit my eyes was Everest. It’s one of the Grand Tables of the World, plus Alpena Singh, who is host of a restaurant review program on PBS as well as the worlds youngest Master Sommelier, is the Director of Wine & Spirits for Lettuce Entertain you. I think this was the place we were going to be spending that certificate at.

Now, we just had to find the “special occasion” – birthdays and anniversaries were past, and there was nothing new coming on the horizon, so it just sat there on the desk looking at me. But suddenly the perfect time did arrive – July 4th weekend!

Since our vacation was cut out this summer, we decided to do things we wouldn’t normally do, considering that we weren’t supposed to be here. Friday afternoon I called the restaurant to see if hope beyond hope we would be able to get a reservation for – the next day! I mean this is one of the best restaurants in the city and it was the holiday weekend, I’m sure that there would be a month’s long wait list. I imagined the call would go like this:

Me: Hello, I’d like to make reservations for tomorrow evening:
Hostess: Oh, sir. That’s so clever, the earliest I’ll be able to accommodate you will be on October 31, 2006.

I thought for sure that our hopes and dreams of a fancy dinner would be dashed. But you know what……they weren’t. I called Friday evening and easily made reservations for the following evening, of course it was at 6:30 – not prime dinner hour but it was still for the next day! The only thing that concerned me was when she asked for a credit card to “secure” the reservation, and that if we cancelled within 48 hours there would be a $50 fee…damn you’ve got to really commit to this place!

I called The Boyfriend and asked if he had made any plans for Saturday evening.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Monday night TV

So what are you watching on Monday?

Hell's Kitchen - I love this show. Gordon Ramsey is such an ass, and I love that every other word out of his mouth is fuck or asshole. I love to see how "worked" up he gets, it's amazing.

SuperNanny - How in the hell do these parents let their kids end up like this?

Treasure Hunters - Really bad interpretation of The Amazing Race, really bad!

or even

Wife Swap - Uhm, it's not what you think!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

So how was your weekend

Ouch, Part II
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.
Last weekend was a treasure trove of fun!

Considering that we were to be on vacation we decided to do things we wouldn't normally do or at least act as a tourist. But the problem is, I act like a tourist all the time.

I'd been talking about getting another tattoo for some time, so The Boyfriend gave me a gift certificate for my Birthday which meant I had to do it!

Saturday was the day for the new tattoo. We bundle ourselves up and trek over to the parlor....only to find it almost completely empty except for one guy who tells us "I can't take you until 4:00" which we couldn't do because we had dinner plans (I'll still tell you about that I promise), so we made a date for Sunday.

So the Sabbath comes and we spend it doing what we normally do on a Sunday and around 5:00 again show up at the parlor. Tattoo Parlor is KRAZY now compared to yesterday and Tattoo guy we spoke to was not around - GREAT!

The only thing I can say is that Tattoo Parlors are the most dis-organized business I've ever seen, and I think that you're not allowed to work there if you have ever smiled before in your life. Finally I was able to get someones attention and asked about Tattoo Guy, she went and found him, he was just finishing up, he'd be with us shortly.

Tattoo guy comes out, gets my image and goes to make the stencil. When he comes back we agree on the price and he says "That's cash only." Sure no problem I've got a Gift Certificate....all hell broke loose. The next thing I hear is "Well I can only take cash, hold on a second."

He comes back and tells me that he talked with one of the other artists and that he'd be able to help me, he was just finishing up and he'd be with us in five minutes....well 20 minutes later....we go through the SAME thing with this guy "Cash Only." We're both starting to get perturbed and feel as though we're really getting the run-around, WTF!

Finally, the guy (Nex) who had done The Boyfriends tattoos said that he would help us. Apparently the owner of the shop had given the guys a "free week" and they were allowed to keep all of the cash that they made that week (I guess they have to pay a percentage or something). Once it was all explained we were cool.

I jumped up on the stairs and the stencil was applied to my calf. The Boyfriend didn't like where it was so it was washed off and it was reapplied....Perfection!

Have you ever had a tattoo before? I have a small one on my chest, I got that 4th of July weekend 1993 - yes 13 years ago. I'd forgotten what the whole experience was like. They pulled out and set up a "massage" table and I hopped up on it, I got comfortable because I knew I was going to be there for a while!

Well an hour and a half later we were done. I had the worst headache in the world. Not because of the, it was the music! I swear it was the most head-bangingist, guitar riffing, screaming music I have EVER heard in my life, and I hope that I don't hear it ever again. I can't even think of who the bands were that they were playing because i have no idea, but WOW what crazy ass music but fits right in with the whole "tattoo/biker" image.

So what do you think?

Oh yeah, and if someone lies to you and tells you that tattoos don't hurt, don't listen to them. THEY HURT!

But then like I always say, especially when I'm bleaching my hair - "Beauty hurts, damn it!"

Check out the Adventure HERE

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Friday, July 07, 2006

Pirates of the Caribbean, Part Two

No this isn't part two of the review this is Part Two of the movie!

So first off my biggest question is, how is it pronounced:

kuh-rib-bea-an OR
care-a-be - an

Welll we're going to see Pirates of the Caribbean so I decided to read some of the "user reviews" on Yahoo.

Very rarely do I listen to the TV movie reviews, I mean really the things they like and I like are different so I usually go by reviews from my friends or co-workers, people that I know ho wthey think already and will get a true judgement of the movie.

But these online reviews are hilarious....I especially enjoy reading the ones with the low ratings because sometimes those are the most well written. Someone actually took the time to think about the movie, the plot, and also take in every thing else from score to cinematography and direction, they're usually well written.

Unlike the ones written by the 13 year old girls that go like this:

"OMG, It was so scary. Like Ashley was on the phone with her mom when there was a scary part and we all screamed and Ashley's mom was like "what's going on? What's all that noise? Are you high? I know you're high aren't you?" and we're like OMG, your mom is crazy. But oh that Johnny Depp is so dreamy, it's hard to believe he's so old, like OMG did you know that he used to be on TV, can you believe that? Well the movie was really cool and the popcorn didn't suck either"

So which review do you like?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

How Gay Am I?

So my friend J that I work with moved a few weeks ago. He just moved 4 blocks directly east of where he used to live, but in so doing it totally altered our "morning drive to work ritual."

Before he would meet me on the way into work and I would drop him off right in front of his house, well now I can't easily get to his house (becuase of one way streets) and he has to meet me at the car every morning - which has turned out to be a problem.

Well you're probably saying "Well if you ride to work together, wouldn't he know where you park the car at night?" Typically I drop him off at the gym and THEN park my car so he doesn't know where it is to meet me in the morning.

So I've taken to calling him the night before and giving him the cars coordinates...we've had a few "incidences" where he hasn't understood (or I didn't explain clearly enough) where the car was, which caused us to be late to work (please we're in the car for 10 minutes, we're not that late).

So I made up this map of the neighborhood and where I park the car. So now when I call him to tell him where the car is, I just have to say "Premium - RED" or "Sub-Prime Green"

I even laminated it for him so he can use a grease pencil to mark the location.

I know, I'm so gay!

In Pursuit of a Suit - Part IV

Another great thing about being on the perimeter, we were the first to get served…ha ha! Closer to the bar AND food first? Not so bad being on the outside looking in, huh? By the time dessert came around we were getting really full, we hoped that it would be something light and fluffy, why was it taking so long? Oh they were serving dessert from the inside out? WHAT they’re changing the routine now? At Dessert? The most important part of the meal, I couldn’t believe it. From the time we “saw” dessert until we got it was about 20 minutes, we were all going mad for the plate of cookies and ooooohhhhh Ice Cream with strawberry sauce, so yummy.

The strangest thing though….it wasn’t Ice Cream, it was vanilla and it looked like ice cream but it wasn’t. It was a mix between ice cream and really really stiff Cool Whip. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t room temperature either. It didn’t melt in your mouth, it sort of half dissolved but needed to be chewed. We were all certain that it was made with chemical waste because goodness knows there couldn’t be anything natural in that stuff. I mean dessert was delivered to us at 9:50 and at 10:18 the stuff still had not melted. We were timing it to see how long it would actually take, but when our backs were turned getting another cocktail the Bus Boy cleared the table and took our uneaten dessert with him. We were never actually able to find out what was in that stuff……

The Boyfriend had the opportunity to meet the Alderman and shake his hand, but was quickly whisked away when he asked how he felt about Gay Marriage, the Alderman had never heard of such a thing!

The Boyfriend gave us a 10 minute warning, I looked to my table mate and said "I think we can have another drink, what do you think?" Well when I walked up the bartender he looked at me and said "A Pair of 7's Sir?" I tipped him $5....but then I thought, oh my goodness how much have I had to drink, I've only been here two hours.

Even with the 10 minute warning the Party was just getting started because the invitation said “Dancing from 9:00 to 12:00” I mean hey, they had a DJ and everything. We worked our way over to the dance floor and joined in while they were doing that line dance “1 2 Step” The really ghetto one where the guy says “Step to the Left…Now step to the right….stomp 3 times….cha cha cha” Well since I’m not a dancer, we danced for a few minutes to amuse the ladies and we headed out of there!

Actually after seeing some of the people there, I didn’t have to invest in a suit at all, I could have gone in my jogging pants.

If you'd like to look at the pictures from this evening, CLICK HERE

In Pursuit of a Suit - III

With cocktail now safely in my hand I figured I should find The Boyfriend and the Ladies, I had seen a few numbers on the back of the ticket but wasn’t sure what they meant so I started surveying the room. There was a number in the middle of each table, evens on one side odds on the other with the lower numbers being in the middle and the higher numbers on the perimeter. As I’m walking through the room I can obviously see that it’s better to have a lower number in fact, the lower the number the better because they were the ones right in the thick of it all.

I spied The Boyfriend in line at one of the bars so I go over and ask if he had found the table, he said yes. I told him how the room was laid out and I said “Pity the fools that are sitting all the way out here on the outside. Where are we sitting?”

“See that table by the door?” he said. “Are we there?” I asked. “No, we’re one table in front of it!” I guess we were the fool, table 78 out of 80.

As we were finding our seats and getting comfortable it ended up that we were on the side of the table facing away from all of the action. So the five of us ended up sitting and staring at the back wall the whole time, which was actually pretty good because then we didn’t have to worry about what was going on up on the stage! On our place settings we found a toothbrush……that’s the weirdest “gift” I’ve ever gotten on a table? Go figure I’m sure it was some schlub dentist who figured he’d get some free publicity out of the whole event.

Dinner was, as predicted. I was surprised at how “on” the Ladies were with the menu, right down the barley soup and sliced bread. Yep, no rolls for us, sliced bread will do just fine thank you very much! Another great thing about being so close to the perimeter of the events….we were steps from the bar. Now mind you during dinner the bar was closed and we were served a carafe of the most delicious blush rose wine one would ever taste. Fortunately I had stocked up on 7&7’s right before the bar closed and I had two on the table, no need to drink the blush!

At one point during the speeches the gentlemen who won the primary to run for Sheriff gave a few words, his last statement was “And I promise to keep the crooks in jail” I looked at my table mates and said “I wonder if he’s gonna start with all the crooks on the stage first?” I mean after all, it is Chicago, it’s expected that there is some kind of corruption, in fact I think you get in trouble if you DON’T have any corruption! The speeches continued as we ate, one gentlemen who was obviously not aware how a microphone works and screamed into it thusly amplifying his voice to levels that only animals can hear.

We had a great time laughing, and drinking. My dinner mate was drinking a vodka gimlet, I asked her what was in it. She said “Vodka, and you know that Rose’s lime juice, well a splash of that.” “Any soda,” I asked? “No, but there is a lime.” Whew talk about a sweet drink. She said that when she went to the bar and ordered the bartender said “Well all the ladies I know like their gimlets with a little extra lime juice.” At which point she said to him “Why would you think I’m a lady?”

Wow this is going on for a long time, I'm sorry you'll need to wait for Part Four

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Weekend Update

Well considering that we were supposed to be on vacation this week, we still had a rather "exciting" long weekend, here are some of the things we did:

- I saw Superman Returns
- We saw The Devil Wears Prada
- We dressed up in our suits again and went to a fancy restaurant for dinner
- We went bowling
- I went to the beach
- I went to a cookout with friends

So even though on vacation was scrapped we still had fun.

Don't worry I haven't forgotten about the review for Prada - I figured you'd want to wait after my Superman review. Also, I HAVE to tell you about our Dinner!

I hope that everyone had a great 4th of July Weekend and for those of you not in the US, I hope you enjoyed your first weekend in July as well!

Those crazy Norwegians

That's all I'm gonna say....anyone want to go with us to this next year?


NSFW (Not Safe For Work)

In Pursuit of a Suit - II

I’ve trailed off, so sorry……the dinner was on Friday evening and the suits weren’t going to be ready until Friday afternoon, I had to go down to the store at lunch and pick them up so we could quickly jet off to his Mother’s at the precise time.

When I went to pick up the suit the gentleman asked me “Would you like to try it on?” I said “Well can you make the alternations now if it’s not correct?” No was the reply, so I said “Well I guess there’s no reason then is there?”

Flash Forward to Friday night, we get to The Boyfriend’s Mothers house, instead of leaving at 6:15 as planned we left about 6:45 as planned. Along with us it was The Mother and two friends that live on the street. Two Gay Boys in the front, three middle aged women in the back.

Now honestly women, you know I love you, all of you….but sometimes when a group of you get together it really was like a bunch of hens carrying on. I swear they had 4 different conversations going on and one lead into the other and you couldn’t tell when one stopped and another began, it was freaking hilarious! One of the things they talked about was how the place we were going “The White Eagle Banquet Hall” was the place to go eat after EVERY funeral anyone of them had ever been too. In fact it’s neatly nestled between a Senior Citizen Facility and a Cemetery (seriously if you don’t believe me click on the link and look at the map).

Apparently everyone has their funeral banquet there, they specialize in a Polish Buffet as we were driving there one of the ladies said “Oh I hope we have barley soup, I love barley soup” The Boyfriend then made a comment “You know for meat this shiny it actually tastes pretty good.” They had been there so many times they knew exactly what the dinner was going to be: Chicken, Potatoes, Rice, Pierogies, Vegetable, Sausage and Peppers, Brats and Polish Sausage, and Roast Beef.

This Banquet Hall is HUGE, honest to goodness, outside of a convention center these were the biggest “public” banquet hall I’ve ever been to. The party started at 6:30 with an open bar and it was now 7:10 pm, dinner was supposed to start in 20 minutes so we had to find our table quick and get to the bar. As we walked into this huge banquet room we were overwhelmed by the sheer number of people that it contained. There were 80 tables in the room, 10 people at a table so at least 800 people!

The Boyfriend heads off to find the table, I head in the other direction to the bar. There weren’t a lot of people in line so I had no problem getting a drink….but I didn’t see any Rum. They had Stoli, some apricot brandy, some Seagram’s 7 strictly old school alcohol so I told the bartender I’d have a 7&7 (Seagrams 7 and 7-up), I hadn’t had one of those in ages!

Oh my this is going on for quite some time isn't it...I guess you'll have to wait for Part Three

Happy Fourth of July!

That is unless you're outside of the USA in that case "Happy Tuesday"

Monday, July 03, 2006

In Pursuit of a Suit

A few weeks ago The Boyfriend said “Do you have a suit?” I asked “A suit of what, Armor?”

His Mother’s Alderman was having a “benefit dinner” and she had been given a table at the dinner and needed to fill it up. Tickets were $100 but they gave her a whole table for nothing (this comes into play later).

The Boyfriend said “We need to get you a suit” so off to Men’s Warehouse we went in pursuit of a suit. The last time I owned a suit was in 1987 and I was graduating from High School. Now I do own a Tuxedo but that’s an entirely different animal altogether. One thing you should know about me, I am challenged in two of the key “gay characteristics” I didn’t get the decorating gene, in fact I can’t decorate (actually, I’m not ALLOWED to decorate) and I don’t have the “fashion” gene, but I do have some fabulous 501’s.

I’m the one who loves to wear a Target Shirt, so I told The Boyfriend – You Pick, I Pay, here’s my limit.

It was actually a lot of fun, The Boyfriend shaking his head and clucking his tongue, here try this, no no no, try this….OH NO! And the poor Salesman, who was actually grateful for The Boyfriends input, I would have been one of those terrible customers “Oh I don’t know if I like this. Does this type of jacket make my ass look big? Are these shoulder pads? Aren’t those what they wore in Dynasty?” Instead I just tried jackets on and took jackets off, until it was narrowed down to one choice for me, it was fabulous.

I wonder if that’s how Britney Spears feels when she goes clothes shopping? I’ll have to play no fashion sense more often, the only problem is The Boyfriend has a taste for the $$$$. The Boyfriend bought a most beautiful Calvin Klein suit that he’s been eyeing for a while (I wonder does he go there and browse? Because how could you be eyeing a suit?)

Oh, I'm sorry this is so long, guess you'll have to wait for PART TWO

Crack found on Space Shuttle

So when did NASA start hiring hookers to be astronauts?

I just saw this article: Crack found in foam on shuttle fuel tank.

OH....I see, not CRACK but instead A Crack, oops my mistake, I mean seriously would nasa really hire hookers?

Oh, we saw a preview for Strangers with Candy - The Movie and she was a former hooker/junkie/con.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Where's E.T. when you need him?

E.T. phone home please!

To see what was really going on check HERE

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Superman Returns - The Review, Part III

Ok the real review I promise.

The movie starts out with the same cheesy (I LOVED THEM) titles and theme from the original. At first I thought we were watching a remake of the original.

Superman returns to earth after being gone for 5 years. I think it takes place somewhere after Part II. Astronomers believed that they had found remnants of Krypton and he wanted to go see if there were any survivors, so the movie starts with his re-entry to Earth, landing right outside of his Mother’s house.

There’s a bit of a flashback to when he was a kid (and I’ve seen a few of the picture books about the movie and it looks as though there were more scenes filmed that what made the final picture – I’m sure they’ll be in the DVD).

Clark makes his way back to Metropolis and gets his job back at The Daily Planet where he finds Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane. Lois is now dating/living with the nephew of Perry White and she has a 5 year old son….hmmm….5 years old and he was gone for 5 years…hmmmm

Lois won a Pulitzer for writing a column about “Why the world doesn’t need Superman.”

Lex Luthor is back and it’s Kevin Spacey – he did an AMAZING job, even funnier was his moll Parker Posey. For the first 20 minutes of the movie I couldn’t tell whether she had really frizzy hair or was wearing a hat. She was hilarious as the “dumb blonde” who had black hair.

Lex finds Supermans Fortress of Solitude and takes all of the crystals, not before learning all of the information about Krypton from Jor-El, and decides that he’s going to “build” a new continent which will displace the current shorelines and put Metropolis under water.

Ok, that’s all I’m gonna say about plot.

The movie was amazing, the special effects were beyond phenomenal. If you grew up with and loved the original like I did, then you’ll love this. During the movie I couldn’t remember if I was watching Christopher Reeve or Brandon Routh. Now not saying that Brandon was mimicking Christopher but the way that he played “Clark” was amazing. At one point Lois, her son and Clark are standing there watching TV when a thing comes on about Superman. Her son looks at the TV, looks up at Clark, looks back at the TV…another time Lois and her boyfriend are joking about Clark being about the same size as Superman.

The special effects were truly outstanding, the flying sequences were beyond comprehension, his use of heat vision and x-ray vision were astounding. We see his x-ray vision twice (both on Lois) once he’s watching her from outside her house, the second time he watches her go up the elevator. Truly Amazing!
Brandon Routh is only 27 years old compared to Christopher Reeve who was 36 when he played Superman for the first time, so I bet there will be more.

Bryan Singer did a great job directing this movie, it’s not over the top like X-Men it’s perfect as a continuation to the franchise. I see that there’s already word about a new one in 2009 – not bad considering the last Superman movie was in 1987!

Michael gives this Five Stars out of a possible Four!

Oh we went to see The Devil Wears Prada last night!