Thursday, January 25, 2007

All about the sponge, yesterday and today

Yesterday there was a big media blitz that if you microwaved your sponge for 2 minutes in your microwave you would kill 99% of the germs and bacteria.  

No, they weren’t talking about The Today Sponge (like the one that Elaine was coveting), they were talking about a plain old household sponge, the one that’s probably sitting on the side of your kitchen sink right now.

See, we Americans are germaphobes.  Everywhere you turn we’re told that we need to kill the germs.  We use anti-bacterial this and anti-microbial that, and the news media gave us a new way to kill germs – and it doesn't cost a penny.

The big big news yesterday was all about the sponge.  It was on the radio, it was on the morning news, it was on the evening news, it was even in the paper.  Researchers at The University of Florida were telling America that if you want to get rid of 99% of the germs, bacteria AND spores in your sponge, just throw it in the microwave for 2 minutes.  Researcher’s at a major university took the time to study this and tell America about it, share their

Americans jumped on the bandwagon, finally they could unite against a common enemy, something that they could actually beat.  Sponges across the continent flew into microwaves, parents lifted up their children and while they pushed their noses up against the door they pressed 2, 0, 0 and START.  Squeals of delight arose from the crowd as the germs quickly died.  Death was in the air.  And then all hell broke loose!

First there were a few puffs of smoke and suddenly flames appeared out of nowhere!  Children leapt from their parents grasp and ran with their hands in the air and shrieking like banshees.  Mothers jumped for the door handle and fathers pounced for the plug, but it was too late.  The sponges exploded into flames faster than an overfilled deep fat fryer.

It was at that point that the Researchers from the University of Florida realized who they were dealing with – The General Public.  So doing the right thing, they got back in contact with the media and told them to add four words to the story – make – sure – it’s – wet!  

Who the fuck would put a dry sponge in a microwave and think it’s ok.  Oh that’s right – The American Public.

So now the amended story reads that you should place your wet sponge in the microwave for 2 minutes.  And you can read about it HERE


CanadianSwiss said...

Ok. I'll withold any further comment about "The General Public". LOL.

The Big Finn said...

I quickly read about this last week when I was in Chicago, and my first thought was that the article handn't mentioned that the sponge should be wet. So, I re-read the article, mention. I actually thought that there was going to be a problem, and then I was distracted (I'm guessing that my little nephew smacked me in the nuts with a wooden sword at that point...) and didn't give the sponge another thought...until now.
I'm taking credit for an "I told you so" even though I didn't really tell anybody.