Sunday, January 07, 2007

What else can happen

My life is spiraling down the drain, I feel it. What more can happen? On Friday I found out that I was banned from YouTube because of a silly video I uploaded and now after an incident last evening, I'm banned from the grocery store.

Yes, you heard me right, the Grocery Store.

I went to the grocery store last night to meet up with my friend David to conduct an interview with him about his new Podcast (look for that soon). I figured this would be a great place to meet because they have a cafe seating area AND a Starbucks! What could be better than that?

Well I'm not a coffee drinker, and I didn't feel like tea so I figured I would have a cocktail instead. I had an airplane bottle of run sitting on my bar so I threw it in my pocket along with a packet of this great new stuff I found called TrueLime, I'd buy the Pepsi from the cafe and make myself a Cuba Libre!!!!

Well, all was going as planned - I met up with David, he went to get a coffee, only to find out they were already closed (at 8:00 on a Saturday night). I moseyed over to the Cafe and got my cup from the guy behind the counter and made my way to the soda bubbler.

After I filled up the cup with the magic elixir I went back to the table and set up my interview equipment while I waited for David.

So I pulled out my mini-bottle of Bacardi and proceeded to pour it into my cup of carbonated nirvana.....unfortunately at that time the Manger of the store happened to be walking by and saw what I did.

He stopped and asked if I had just poured that booze into the recently acquired soda, well being the good boy that I am, I said "No, it wasn't bacardi, it was cherry flavoring" at which point the manager said "We have Wild Cherry Pepsi, why didn't you just get that." Well I didn't have an answer for that.......so the manager told me I could either leave the store or he could call the cops because they don't have a license to serve alcohol. I told him that they didn't serve it, I served myself, which apparently is illegal.

So the kind manager escorted me to the door and told me that I wasn't to come back in the store again.

So I think officially I can start a gang!

Where the f*ck am I going to get my food from now?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You should have pulled an Ali G, "Is it cos I is gay?" Wait for the cops and tell them you were being barred because you were homosexual and the owner has a problem with gay people. Turn it into a hate crime!

Anonymous said...

What do you expect from life, when one is a pornographer with an alcohol issue living in the land of the free and home of the brave?

Michael said...

Gamma - See that's why I'm a day late and a dollar short! What a great idea.

Gomad - See what I mean, my life is just spiraling out of control. If I don't stop I may be robbing banks by next weekend!

CanadianSwiss said...

That is the craziest thing I ever heard! Free coutry??? I wonder! Jeeezussss!

I hope your streak of bad luck ceases after this one.

Anonymous said...

You are So Naughty.

I REALLY want to meet you now.

Andi said...

Thats what happens when you spend a weekend in Ohio with the Knapp kids.... they turn you bad....

But really Michael. One more infraction and I might ground you!

and does your mother know about all this?

Huh? Does she?

Orange-X said...

I vote for banning Starbucks all over Europe and sponsor Tim Horton's to settle down here. Tim Horton's French Vanilla is better than Starbuck's Vanilla flavoured Latte anyway. Aaah, what the heck! I can't imagine people, so called "managers", not being trained properly and act less radical than this. Being banned from that place for good is way out of any dimension. A simple warning would have been sufficient.

The Big Finn said...

The manager is full of shit. What about all the restaurants that allow you to BYOB because they don't have a liquor license?
I would have told him that it was medicine I needed for my DISABILITY and under the American With Disabilities Act he was discriminating against me, and...could I please have the correctc spelling of his name.
That would have shut him up.

...Hi TSK!!!

Darci said...

What a great story.

Karen said...

Maybe you should do your grocery shopping in drag?

Michael said...

karen - I may have to!