Monday, April 30, 2007

I made it on Consumerist!

Have you ever visited Consumerist or Gizmodo? They're two of my favorite sites, I mean besides yours of course, yours is my number one favorite.

Gizmodo is all about technology and gadgets, something close to my heart. Every day, they have all sorts of interestings posts, and they've got a snarky attitude - which helps.

The Consumerist is a blog all about consumers, consumers rights, customer service, all of those things I hold near and dear to my heart. I always like to read about who's doing what right and who's doing stuff wrong.

I typically don't read either of these sites on the weekend so I have to run through the archives on Monday......I was reading about the Bank of America potential merger with ABN/Amro where they were discussing the fate of LaSalle Bank. Which as you may know is the sponsor of the Chicago Marathon....attached to the post was a picture of the LaSalle Bank Theater here in looked vaguely familiar....well it should have, it was MY PICTURE!

Consumerist used one of my Flickr photos in one of their posts HERE

I knew those Broadway in Chicago season tickets were going to pay off eventually and that taking tap lessons never would.

For all we know, this may be the beginning of my Yellow Brick Road...first it was Meeting Andilicious, then Loopy Fruit and now THIS!


That weekend just went by like nothing.....I'm tired and for some reason my legs really hurt!

Jorge & Andi really went out of their way to show me their corner of NE Ohio! I will post later about it, I promise, because so many things happened, it's just that I got home around 9:30 last night and it's too early on a Monday morning!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I'm officially an "Issue"

I was perusing through my Stat Counter this evening and came across the most bizarre link that came to my blog, ever!

One of the great thing about having a Sitemeter or Stat Counter is that you can track how people find you....was it from a friends blog...did they search for dirty words......did they just type in your web address? I think it's cool......I've been getting some hits from Loopy Fruit in the last day or so...but today I got the most bizarre link.

Someone came to my blog today from Issue Barometer, but more specifically from the Crisis Alert Center.

Somebody from Romania came to me today because of the post I made on Monday about not having Chinese Food for Dinner. In that post I made reference to a few name brands like (fuck) Coke and (fuck) Diet Coke and (fuck) Dr. Pepper. Apparently my use of the word (fuck) as a joke must have triggered something out there in the great blue yonder to alert the folks at Romanian Coca Cola HQ that there was a malcontent blogger out there....and it's Crisis Time.

Now I don't know if I should be flattered or not....what if I had been bad mouthing the brand? Would they have tried to assuage me? Would they have tried to stop me from continuing my rant based on what I had to say......Or perhaps they would try to buy me off by giving me some free coupons to enjoy their tasty delicious beverage.

Have I found a new way to get corporate attention? Please send me some free coupons for Coke, Diet Coke and Dr. Pepper, I would love you forever and ever.....oh yeah. I need a new car so Fuck BMW & Porsche, just in case their reading.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Being on Loopy Fruit


It's official, I've finally gone over the edge....I've taken that final step to self humiliation.

This past Friday night I met a couple of Podcasters - David & Raul of Loopy Fruit Audio Network at the local Dominck's Cafe. Now this isn't a fancy cafe mind you with candles on the tables that are topped with starched white linens. No, it's not like that at all. The Cafe I'm talking about is the one where there the few little "bistro" tables that are separating the deli from the pharmacy haven't been sanitized since last Thursday and you're afraid to even sit down at. Honestly, there's no better place to hang out on a Friday night....and no better place than to record a Loopy Fruit Show.

After dusting off the table (note to self, take wet naps next time) I sat for a few minutes because I didn't want to lose the table....yeah right. A few more minutes went by, I guess the boys were running a little late. But then I started to get nervous thinking that I had the wrong time written down, then more minutes that passed, and the more nervous I became. I had convinced myself that they weren't going to show. I now know how anxious the fat girl is on prom night when she's all dressed up and waiting for her date, only to find out that he only asked her on a dare and he's actually going with the hottest girl in school. Just as I was finishing up that scenario, David called and said they were enroute. Thank Goodness he caught me, I was 15 seconds away from popping a Xanex so I wouldn't have a full blown melt down in the bakery department

After a few minutes of set up and hopping to the Starbucks and the Deli for drinks, we donned our headphones and started talking. I asked the boys if they did any warmups before the show, like yoga or something....I didn't know, it was my first podcast. I know what I do when I'm getting ready to create a post, but I have no idea how those podcast people get ready. Well let's just say they jump right in and before I knew it things were just going right along.

So from this point forward you'll have to LISTEN to find out what happens.

During the show I promised a copy of my Granola Recipe, you can find it HERE

I must share with you folks that I had the best time during the show, I hope that it comes across. David & Raul are so wonderful to work and I'm so glad they gave me the opportunity to be on their Amazing Show.

A Different Taste

Have you ever taken a big gulp of something and halfway through the experience, beyond the point of no return, realize that you’re tasting something completely different than what you were expecting?

Sort of like taking a huge gulp of what you think is Coke and realizing halfway through that it’s actually Diet Coke? Or taking a big gulp of something you think is Sweet Tea and it ends up being Unsweetened?

Before you take that sip, you’re setting yourself up for what you think you’re about to experience……oh boy is it hot out here, I’m so dehydrated I could so go for a coke right now……you’re probably thinking about the last time you had a Coke or perhaps the first time you tried Coke, all those good things are going through your mind and suddenly you get a great big signal from your tongue that says “HEEEEYYYY DIET COKE IS HERE” your brain starts going into spasams because it doesn’t know what it’s supposed to do. I’m expecting Coke, I’ve got myself all set up for Coke and instead that fucker Diet Coke shows up? What’s worse is drinking a Dr. Pepper that is warmer than you expect it to be, so it burns the whole way do……

So this evening, I had a taste for Chinese food. I know you think I’m terribly spoilt that I have Chinese Take-away available within a block of my house, but I’m not. But it is terribly convenient. The Roommate told me I was on my own for dinner this evening so from lunch time on….I was tasting Chinese food for dinner.

I got home from work, did some work on the computer and knew that I was having Chinese for dinner that I could work a little later than normal. Finally when it was getting too late for even reasonable takeaway, I grabbed the phone and dialed the number – that I just happen to know by heart, thank you very much. Ring……..Ring…….. ok, they’re pretty quick on the phone? They must be really busy, is it a Jewish Holiday? Ring….. Ring…by this time I’ve pulled out the menu binder and found the menu to make sure I dialed the correct number.


So all day I had a taste for Chinese…..the Hot & Sour Soup….the crab rangoons……and Empress Chicken… a matter of seconds it was dashed……gone…….so I ended up not having chinese for dinner because it was too late to order from the second choice and it would take an hour to deliver. At that point, I didn’t want Chinese food any longer.

As I was, at this point, scavenging for food….I saw we had Raisin Bran…ok, I’m cool with cereal for dinner. We’ve got bananas and strawberries and I’ll make toast, I’ll have breakfast for dinner…there, problem solved.

Except it wasn’t exactly Raisin Bran, it was more like Rhaisin Braun. We have a habit of buying generic cereal because regular cereal costs and arm and….well….we don’t typically have it for dinner, it’s just for a quick breakfast meal. So it wasn’t the best of cereal, but at least there was milk….yummy milk……skim milk……WTF?....oh I hate my roomie right now…..skim milk, he’s killing me! But I know he tolerates my 2% so I can deal with it. But then when I went to butter my toast I had to use the Shedd’s Spread because the butter was still in the freezer……

So I really wanted Chinese for dinner but ended up with Cereal instead…..things don’t always work out as you expect do they?

So what did you have for dinner?

Great, now my cereals mushy because I wrote this post instead of eating….damn!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I'm (in) a Class Act(ion)

Whew, I'm back from the Left Coast, boy was that tiring!

I arrived home early this morning, 1:30am, and promptly slid into my own comfy bed, but not before sorting through the mail that arrived during the days I was gone.

One of the envelopes was just a plain white envelope with a plain address listed, but looked official (sort of like the ones they send a new credit card in so that it doesn't look conspicuous, but it always is), so I opened it.

And what were the first words I see? Court of Illinois....oh crap, what the hell have I done now?

Apparently I did nothing, which is always good, but I'm involved in a lawsuit, a Class Action Lawsuit at that, and apparently I've won! What started out as a lump in my throat ended up with me finding out that I could be at least $23.50 up to $100 richer by the end of summer! How fabulous is that?

I guess that a Car Dealer did something illegal - can you believe that? I guess at sometime in the past they sent me an advertisement that I was pre-approved to buy a car from them - but they got the information in a shady way. So someone sued them and filed a class action suit.

Since I didn't respond to the mailer - I qualify - see throwing out junk mail does work. All I need to do is return a piece of paper with one checkbox marked and I'll be rich rich rich before Autumn comes around.

I have to stop saying I never win anything.

Blogger Friends

Blogger Friends
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Yesterday was a stellar day.....not only did I get the chance to add two more bloggers to my list of "Bloggers I've Met in Real Life" but I was also someones first exposure to meeting a fellow blogger in person.

I drove out to the Suburbs yesterday, past the airport.....past Ikea.....and even past Woodfield Mall. It was the furthest West I've ever been before.

We weren't meeting until 2:00 so I spent my morning getting ready for the trip. I made sure the car was tuned up, had the oil changed, filled up the tank with gas and also the spare one I carry for emergencies. The cell phone was charged up and showing five bars and I programmed in the number for 911 and AAA, just in case.

It's great having AAA because I was able to get some Trip Tik Travel Planners for the adventure. Have you ever used those before? They're really cool and they give you a fun little binder. I really don't care that the lady gave me a funny look when I walked in and told her I wanted directions from the City to the Suburbs - it was apparent she had no idea who she was dealing with. I made her give me the full treatment as though I was driving from Coast-to-Coast. I wanted to make sure I knew where every Starbucks and Denny's was along the route, just in case.

Surprisingly it was very easy to find the burbs, just drive West Young Man - (and sorta north too). It helped that I was listening to the Techno Remix of Go West by the Pet Shop Boys to help pass the time.

The plan was to meet The Sour Kraut, The Medium Swede and The Big Finn for lunch at an exotic location called Bahama Breeze. Being from the city I had never heard of such an exciting place so I was looking forward to being whisked away to a place where peole pass the doobies and call each other Mon. I found the place pretty easily, I only missed one turn but I never lost sight of the place. It looked so pretty from outside, I'd never been to the Bahamas, but it looked like what I've seen in National Geographic!

The Boys showed up, minus TSK as she had to stay home and watch over their oldest who has strep we had a boys lunch out. If I had known it was just gonna be us boys I would have suggested Hooters instead. I've always wanted to try the Chicken Wings there and I'm sure that the boys would have gone just to support my curiosity and explain to TSK & Mrs. TBF that they were only doing it for me and that they didn't enjoy themselves at all.

***SIDEBAR*** When I lived in Atlanta, there was a strip club a few miles from work and their lunch special was a t-bone steak & baked potatoe for $9.99. I once told my boss that I was willing to go there for lunch with him one day if he wanted. I'll put up with a lot for a cheap t-bone dinner. **END SIDEBAR

It's always a blast meeting Bloggers in Real Life - at first you think that you'll have nothing to talk about because you already know what's going on with them ----- but really the conversation goes so quickly and easily it's like you've been best friends for a long time and you've got all that clutter of "who are you? what are your hobbies?" out of the way.

I'm getting lucky in that I get the chance to meet up with The Big Finn almost everytime he comes to Chicago and if you've had the chance to meet him in person you know what a treat that is!

After lunch we went over to TSK & TMS beautiful new home, there was no way that I was going that far and NOT meeting up with TSK. At the very least I would have driven by and waved from the sunroof, there was no way I was passing up this opportunity.

It was a fabulous spring day here in I mean the Suburbs, so we sat on the patio and enjoyed everything: the chatter, the company, the sun, the kids and watching the dog run across the invisible fence....oh wait, I enjoyed that, but I don't think anyone else did.

The burbs are a nice place, but I don't think I would want to live there. The streets all have cutesy names like "Daisy Path" and people chase their dogs around their yards in their underwear first thing in the morning....hmmm, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. But I'm a city boy where we have street names like "Daisy Chain Way" and I really enjoy living in the city, I grew up in the country so that was enough for me.

When I first arrived in the burbs I was a little freightend, in fact it was a little bit more difficult to breatheout there, I was a little light headed. I think there's more oxygen in the burbs and it made me a little loopy, sort of like sucking the heilum out of a balloon.

The afternoon flew by and before I knew it, it was time to go home. I had heard from a friend of mine that came out here a long time ago that if you weren't back in the city before nightfall I'd need a special permit, and I didn't have time to go to the DMV this morning.

We said our goodbyes and hugged like old time chums and I jumped in my car and headed back to the city.

The Moral of the Story - Meet up with Local Bloggers!

TSK - I hope I was gentle enough for you.......

Friday, April 20, 2007

Blogger Weekend

Oh my goodness, this weekend is going to be a whole lot of fun and it's all Blogger related!

Tonight is my recording debut on The Loopy Fruit Audio Network, I'm nervous and I hope I don't sound too gay...notice I didn't say 'sound gay' I'm just worried about sounding TOO GAY! They usually post on Mondays so as soon as it's up I'll let you know so that you can hear my angelic and melodic voice.

That's just Friday Night....Saturday is looking to be a stellar day as well. TBF is in town from across The Pond and he has arranged a lunch date with the Fabulous TSK & TMS, I can't believe that we're finally going to meet in person. I have had the distinct pleasure of meeting TBF & Mrs. TBF, but this is the first time for TSK & TMS!

I was telling my walking buddy that I was meeting up with some Blogger friends, the conversation sort of went like this:

Me: I'm so excited, I'm going to meet some people from the Internet
Him: Are you going to have sex with them?
Me: Uhm, no, you can use the internet for other things you know?
Him: Really? I had no Idea...
Me: Yeah this guy I know TBF who lives in Switzerland is coming to Chicago and I'm going to meet up with him and some of his friends TSK & TMS.
Me: The Big Finn, The Sour-Kraut and The Medium Swede
Him: Oh ok, all those letters make it sound like a social disease. I'm sure you'll have a blast!

People who don't blog just don't get it do they?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Pursuit of Happyness - A Review

Can you blieve it, they actually showed us a movie on the airplane…..and a recent movie at that, not one that was released in 1978. It’s been a while since I’ve been on a flight that was more than 4 hours so I’m not used to seeing entertainment of such caliber.

The plane didn’t have those nice little personal video screens like I hear they have on JetBlue, instead it had the monitors mounted to the middle of the ceiling over the aisle, and since I chose to sit by a window I could only see two-thirds of the screen without leaning over and sniffing my neighbors hair – which I can tell you did not go over well with her, perhaps if it would have been her husband sitting there it may have been different.

The show started with a review by Ebert & Roper only it was Roper and that Aieisha Taylor girl from Comedy Central instead of Ebert. Me and my seatmates bundled up together and got ready to enjoy the show.

I’d been wanting to see this movie – but didn’t want to buy it so I was looking forward to the next two hours of free movie watching.

Long credits……lots of panning……lots of credits….music cuts out……finally some talking.

About 10 minutes into the show the sound goes off abruptly, I fiddled with the headphone jack and realized my seatmates couldn’t hear either. But then the sound came back on…..and went off again.

We at least got to the part of the movie where you understood why the word Happyness is spelled with a y instead of an I, so that is good.

When the sound didn’t come back on we realized that our row was the only row without sound – how amazing is that. So we decided to join arms and sing Christmas carols instead…….we made friends with the flight attendants and got free cocktails since we were the only ones not watching the movie or sleeping.

At first we tried to figure out what was going on….ok he can solve the Rubik’s Cube….ok he can read a sign looking for help…..some lady steals his thing (not his Thing Thing…the thing he’s trying to sell) and then we got bored and decided to drink full time instead, but we couldn’t stop watching the movie even though we know we had no idea what was going on. Although I think we had all seen the previews enough times that we did actually know what was going on.

After a while thought even that became boring and we just decided to either sleep, chat or even read a book.
Next time I say that I want to see a movie I need to be more explicit and say that I want to “See AND Hear” the movie.

Monday, April 16, 2007


SIFTS = Save It For The Show

My friends David & Raul record and produce their own weekly podcast - Loopy Fruit.

You may recall Loopy Fruit from this quasi interview I did with David back in January.

Well the most exciting news arrived today via gmail.

As I was sifting through my email this afternoon, grazing past the free offers for viagra and vagina's streamed to your screen 24 hours a day there was an email from the Loopy Fruit Team.

David & Raul produce a fabulous show, you should really go check them out. Even if you don't like listening to Podcasts you should go check out Loopy Fruit. Whenever I meet up with David and his partner "MJ" we always have a fabulous time laughing, telling stories and cutting up. David has been threatening me for months that he's going to invite me on their show, and he followed through.

I got a Golden Ticket in my Wonka Bar by way of an invitation to appear on their show this Friday evening at a super secret special remote location. They typically record thier show "at home" but recently they've been taking the show on the road and doing a most bang up job.

Oh shit, now I'm REALLY in trouble.

I'm afraid that I'm going to freeze when the light goes on. What was the Brady Bunch episode that one of the kids froze when they were on TV...wasn't it Cindy?

I'm out of town for the rest of the week but I'll be sure to let you know when it's on!

Oh yeah, SIFTS = Save It For The Show, so that means I can't talk about anything between now and Friday so that we can talk about it on the show!

Katie & Peter on E!

Last night while I was watching The Girls Next Door there was a commercial for a new program on E! - Katie & Peter

Who the F*&k are Katie & Peter?

I never liked getting hand-me-downs from my sister when I was growing up and I'm really tired of getting Britains hand-me-downs now. First it was "were getting" Posh & Beck's. Who decided that we should get them? No one asked me.

From what I've heard, the UK is over Posh & Beck's and that's why they're coming to the US? Why oh why did they ever write that poem - "Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"? It just doesn't have the same ring now does it when it applies to worn out tired has beens?

Now, we're lucky enough to be "getting Katie & Peter?" Again, no one asked my opinion!

When I first saw the commerical I was like "oh hey, who's that hottie." Apparently she's a skank and he's a former boy band member or something. Granted he's good looking, ok, he's really hot! And she has big boobs, but they made the mistake of letting them talk, especially Peter.

Uhm, Peter could you please just keep your mouth shut and just stand there...oh yeah and the same goes for you Katie. I know my fair share of Brits, but why is it the famous ones always have high pitched whiny voices? I know my voice is high pitched, but I'm not whiny....really I'm not.....I'm not whiny! It just ruins the whole illusion when you see this really buff guy - and you know he's str8 - and then he opens his mouth and just ruins it all.

I'm sure Posh & Beck's will be your bestest friends. I hope we're tired of you soon.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Elvis has left the building

By the time I came around Elvis had already left the building, he died when I was 8 years old. So even though I have no active memory of Elvis, I do know who he is.

So, a few weeks ago, actually right after I got back from vacation, I decided that I needed a new camera.

Although I love my camera, it was almost four years old and I was tired of all the kids laughing at me when I pulled it out. The first thing people would say is "oh that's pretty beat up." "Yeah it goes everywhere I go," was my typical response and it was true. I've fallen in love with photography over the last few years.

Growing up I would play around with cameras but never did anything because it was such an expensive hobby...and it took forever. Even then I had no patience and photography meant WEEKS of waiting - literally!

In college I had 35SLR that I had no idea to use, but it was a pretty camera. Again, it took weeks to get results, still no fun.

Fast Forward to 2003 when I got my first digital camera! Finally, instant gratification! Why did technology take so long to catch up?

I've been doing my research online but decided to pay a visit to my local Best Buy to touch everything.

I have a love/hate relationship with Best Buy - as I'm sure you do as well - I like going there but the people working there are just plain out of it. But then what do you really expect for minimum wage?

I'm looking at cameras and I'm approached by the blue shirted kid. "hi, how are you?" and then he actually waited for a response......."I'm Elvis, is there anything I can help you with?" I wanted to snap "No, thank you I'm just looking" but I decided to ask him a question...well let's just say that we talked for a few and I ended up buying a much more expensive camera than I was looking for along with a service plan.

Now before you say "Well Geeze Michael, you fell for the oldest trick in the book, you're a fool, you deserve what you got."

But you know what.....the kid actually knew what he was talking about. He knew a few things I didn't and I felt confident in my purchase. I hadn't planned on buying a camera because I had just missed an 18-month free interest program they were running so I had resigned myself to waiting for the next one...but I tried something and it worked.

I knew that I was going to buy a Service Plan with the camera because honestly it's the only service plan I know I will use. See Best Buy covers the battery on Digital Cameras, and they'll give you a new one every year....for shipping...nothing. I bought the Service Plan on my last camera and every year I got a new battery. The Service Plan cost $59 and I got $240 worth of batteries out of them.

I told Elvis that I wanted to buy the camera but I really wanted to take advantage of the 18-month interest free program I had just missed so I was gonna wait on it. So I asked if he would extend the offer. "Were you going to buy anything else today?" "I was thinking about the Service Plan?" Eyes lit up.....I asked him a few questions, made sure they still did the battery thing and said I'd probably get that when I bought the camera...."Let me go talk to my manager for a sec." "Ok, I'm gonna go look at some movies, I'll come back in 10 minutes" knowing that he'll have an answer in 4.

When I got bored of looking at movies, I walked back to the camera department but didn't see Elvis anywhere. There was another guy who tried to jump on me and I said "I'm working with Elvis." "Oh he'll be right back," was his curt reply. So I jokingly said "Oh has Elvis left the building?" to which he said "No, he's right over there." as though he were ordering a cheeseburger at McDonald's.

God, I'm so old.

And yes, I got my new camera....but I'm so old.

I wonder....

This afternoon when we were on our way back to work after having lunch we saw a blind man with his guide dog crossing the street.

At first I thought - how do they train those dogs to know when to cross the street - and then I thought how does a blind person pick up their dogs poop?

I would imagine it would be a whole lot of fumbling around....or do they just leave it?

I wonder?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

So Busted

Well, I've been busted....

Remember my "So Freaked Out" post from a few days ago?

Well the Barista who was at the Coffee Shop that day somehow tracked me down and left a comment.....

I guess I have to be careful of what I say on this thing now!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Monkey Madness Margartia Party

What did you do this weekend?

Since we had Friday off as a Holiday we decided to have a little get together - GAME NIGHT!

But I couldn't be just any Game Night, no it had to have a theme. Some friends of ours have a fabulous Halloween Long Island Ice Tea party - so we knew that was out. And David & MJ of LoopyFruit Audio Network are well known for their Cosmopolitans - so much so that they hand you an official menu when you walk in the door - so we knew that was out.

What could we do? Inspiration hit us as we were walking the aisles of our local Red Dot Boutique looking for a pitcher to store whatever we were going to make.

It was there that we found exactly what we were looking for - Monkeys!

Thus the Monkey Madness Margarita Party was formed.

You can check out the photos HERE

After we all had a few drinks, I pulled out LCR. Perhaps you remember my first refernce to LCR when I went to Florida to visit my parents.

LCR is really an addictive game that's great to play at a party because it doesn't require a whole lot of attention and there's enough "down time" during the game that you can still drink and have conversations.

Check out the video:

Saturday, April 07, 2007

So Freaked Out

My friend went out of town this weekend so I'm doing "well being" visits to his apartment to check on things.

It's so cold here, and even though it's 32 degrees out, I decided to walk because it's only a few blocks. I just couldn't stand to be cooped up inside all day....after my visit I didn't feel like going home so instead I decided to stop for coffee...I had two choices - one on the way home and one that was in the completely opposite direction.

I figured I'd go someplace different. There's a small coffee shop that I've been going to since I moved here, but don't go to on a regular basis. The only reason I don't go there is because it's out of my 'hood. I have to make an effort to go there...and when I go there it's because I know that I don't have to deal with the whole Starbucks crowd. It's a nice quiet unpretentious coffee shop.

I'm at the little coffee shop now posting from a Mac - I'm so freaked out. First of all, I don't know Macs at all, and I feel like the biggest dork in the world because of that - Thank You Bill Gates!

When I walked in here I had my headphones on (and listening to Showtunes I might add), I looked around the place to see where I could find a place to sit. There were 7 people in the whole place, all spread out, but there was a booth open - BINGO! (Uhm, at this point of the story - remember that I'm actually sitting at the Mac writing this post) So I took my headphones off and walked up to the counter.

You know that scene in a movie where someone takes their sunglasses/glasses/headphones off and it's dead quiet? It usually happens right after the actor farts or something.

Well, that's exactly what happened - except I didn't fart! When I took my headphones off, there was NO NOISE.

There was no noise in the entire coffee shop. No radio, no refrigerators running, no music, no talking.

It was quieter than my local library - and they have signs up reminding people to be quiet!

At first I seriously thought that I was in some candid camera episode.

The ONLY noise in the entire place was the sound of water running. You know that little thing next to the coffee maker that they keep their tools keep them clean. That was the ONLY noise.

I was really freaked out about it. I couldn't even hear people breathing. Have you ever been home when the electricity goes out - you know that silence when everything is off....that's what it was like.

As I got my drink I said to the barrista (is he the barrista if he's the only one working?) "It's quiet in here?" to which he replied "Yeah, it's a little weird when everything is off all at the same time."

Well needless to say, all I'm going to do here is make this post and walk home because I think I've done all the thinking that I'm going to do here without starting to hear the voices that actually are in my head and I try to supress!

But I figured I'd be a little productive and actually write a post - which I'm doing now and actually getting used to this little Mac.

The music started - thank goodness, and now I hear a refrigerator running. Little whispers from the other patrosn....ok, it's getting back to normal.

Oh for the love of God there's some girl at the counter talking to the barrista loudly about petting a dolphin and how you can't touch penquins...blah...blah...blah.....I feel bad for the barrista because he feels like he has to engage her. He is SO talking out of his ass, and she doesn't get it..Oh yeah, they're all muscle - animal welfare...blah blah blah...I wonder if she knows he's gay? For the love of Pete some guy with a dog just walked in, now she's interested in the dog and forgotten all about the poor dolphins and penquins you can't pet.

Son of a bitch, the dog is pawing at my leg, I DO NOT want to get involved in this, it's only a matter of time before her attenion to the dog wanes and she turns her attention to me! Oh why the hell can't she shut the fuck up....

Oh, I just realized why everyone is so quiet in here....

I have to go home now.

Friday, April 06, 2007


It's Good Friday, I hope that everyone is having a good Friday.

It's hard to believe that it is our first "official" paid holiday of the year.

We made it through winter, that last paid holiday at New Year's seems months away.

So much is happening so quickly. The grass is turning greener by the day. Flowers are poking their heads up out of the ground, the trees are starting to bud.....and suddenly....

Global Warming strikes and it's suddenly 32 degrees again and you've got to start wearing your winter coat again, with gloves.....and your ear muffs!

The only thing getting me through this difficult time are the herbs that I'm starting in my little plastic greenhouse! Since I'm living in a place that has a HUGE covered deck, I'm going to grow some Herbs this summer.

No, not those kind of herbs.....although I did have a friend grow on e of those one time....I never heard what came of it....if I know my friend it probably ended up in the trash because once he realized how much work it is to harvest that he just gave up...LOL!

Seriously though, I'm growing Basil, Oregano, Rosemary (I want to make a topiary but I doubt that's gonna happen so Fuck Martha Stewart), chives, peppermint, cilantro and a tomato plant!

The only thing getting me through this spring is the thought of fresh pesto tossed with angel hair and fresh salsa from the garden....oh crap, I need to go plant some onions!

I hope that you're enjoying your Friday and that it's a Good Friday.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Alanis Morissette - My Humps

Oh my goodness, have you seen this video. It's Alanis Morissette's version of Fergie's "My Humps"

It's FABULOUS - I like the original and I love this, it's funny, strange and interesting all at the same time!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

There's a Va-Jay-Jay

Honest to goodness there's a Va-Jay-Jay in my Jewel Commercial.

Take a look at this commercial from our local Jewel Grocery here in Chicago and tell me that the bread is not shaped like the female anatomy.

I may not be that well versed in such things, but's even obvious to me! That bread is shaped like a vagina!

I guess it's true - Sex Sells!

Something's Coming

Oh my goodness, something truly exciting is coming.

No, it's not a new touring version of West Side Story - although I would love to see that. You know they should really bring back some of the good old musicals for tours, I would go see them. Like My Fair Lady and Brigadoon.

OMG - I have to tell you about this, when I was a freshman in High School, we did Brigadoon as our High School Musical (the world was not yet Disneyfied at that time - thank goodness) and we were authentic in our costumes - meaning the guys wore kilts.

Since I was only in 9th Grade I didn't have a "speaking" role - but I did have a solo in the opening number - I was Sandy and I sang some lyrics about enticing people over to my booth for some candy - heck I guess I as a pervert back then too huh?

I remember when we did our "review" for the school (now mind you there were only about 500 kids in 7th through 12th grades) and we were all so nervous about wearing kilts and getting laughed at....and when that curtain went up we all went out there with Gusto and gave it our all. Yeah some people laughed, I mean that's life right....but everyone was very receptive to our performance. I doubt that we got a standing ovation but I remember kids teasing me the next day for wearing a "skirt".

But the guys in the cast held our heads high and said that we were doing it for the Artistic Value and they could laugh if they wanted to, but who was up there on the stage, us or them?

Boy, I really got off track there didn't I?

So something exciting is happening at the end of this month, it's creeping up so quickly I can hardly contain myself.

As you may know, I've had the delicious opportunity to meet A Ropey Old Bird in real life many times and we always have a hoot when we're together. Well there's this bus service in the Midwest called MegaBus. Their big schtick is that you can get a bus ride for as little as$1.00 + .50 cent service fee to anywhere in the Midwest.

Well Andi and I have been joking since we met that we've got to try out this MegaBus, in the pursuit of scientific advancement...I'm taking MegaBus from Chicago to Cleveland to visit Andilicious!

The ticket only cost me $15.50, can you believe that? To go all the way to Cleveland - now of course what that really doesn't tell you is that I leave Chicago at 3:30 in the afternoon and I don't get to Cleveland until 10:15 that evening, so what's 7 hours on a bus....oh shit, i just realized that all of my electronic devices batteries only last about 3 or 4 hours, what the hell am I going to do on a bus for 7 hours?

I'm sure I'll think of something.

Oh yeah, I'm flying home! I can only take so much excitement in one weekend.

New Google Service, TiSP

Oh My God, Google is getting into the Wireless business....I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

And the best part of all of's gonna be free.

Check out their new service called TiSP.

It's in Beta right now, like almost all of googles other tools, so I haven't signed up yet, but if you decide to try this out, let me know.

The Real Reason the Cubs are For Sale

Leave it to the media to jump on the bandwagon and shout from the hills that sky is falling.

I always find it interesting how the media will jump on one piece of news and then beat the shit out of it.

If you haven't heard yet, The Cubs are For Sale! But the reason the media is telling everyone the Cubs are for sale is because the Tribune Company was sold over the weekend to Sam Zell of Highland Park for 8.2B USD, yes that's a B for Billion. Due to that transaction the Cubs are for sale because they could make almost 600M USD which is a profit of 579M USD because they bought the Cubs in 1981 for 21M USD - that was a good investment. So the thinking is that they could make a tidy little sum just off shooting a little baseball team.

Well that's wrong........the REAL reason that the Cubs may be sold off is because Sam Zell is a already a Part Owner of the Chicago Whitesox.....and Major League Baseball's rules say that an owner can not have stakes in more than one team.

So THAT'S the real reason that Cubs are going to be sold off, it's because Sam Zell likes the White Sox better!

Now why doesn't the media run that news that Sam Zell is a Cub's hater and the only reason he bought the Tribune was because he hates the Cubs and wanted to "sell them off."

Oh yeah, I do know some things about Sports....just not how they're played!