Saturday, April 07, 2007

So Freaked Out

My friend went out of town this weekend so I'm doing "well being" visits to his apartment to check on things.

It's so cold here, and even though it's 32 degrees out, I decided to walk because it's only a few blocks. I just couldn't stand to be cooped up inside all day....after my visit I didn't feel like going home so instead I decided to stop for coffee...I had two choices - one on the way home and one that was in the completely opposite direction.

I figured I'd go someplace different. There's a small coffee shop that I've been going to since I moved here, but don't go to on a regular basis. The only reason I don't go there is because it's out of my 'hood. I have to make an effort to go there...and when I go there it's because I know that I don't have to deal with the whole Starbucks crowd. It's a nice quiet unpretentious coffee shop.

I'm at the little coffee shop now posting from a Mac - I'm so freaked out. First of all, I don't know Macs at all, and I feel like the biggest dork in the world because of that - Thank You Bill Gates!

When I walked in here I had my headphones on (and listening to Showtunes I might add), I looked around the place to see where I could find a place to sit. There were 7 people in the whole place, all spread out, but there was a booth open - BINGO! (Uhm, at this point of the story - remember that I'm actually sitting at the Mac writing this post) So I took my headphones off and walked up to the counter.

You know that scene in a movie where someone takes their sunglasses/glasses/headphones off and it's dead quiet? It usually happens right after the actor farts or something.

Well, that's exactly what happened - except I didn't fart! When I took my headphones off, there was NO NOISE.

There was no noise in the entire coffee shop. No radio, no refrigerators running, no music, no talking.

It was quieter than my local library - and they have signs up reminding people to be quiet!

At first I seriously thought that I was in some candid camera episode.

The ONLY noise in the entire place was the sound of water running. You know that little thing next to the coffee maker that they keep their tools keep them clean. That was the ONLY noise.

I was really freaked out about it. I couldn't even hear people breathing. Have you ever been home when the electricity goes out - you know that silence when everything is off....that's what it was like.

As I got my drink I said to the barrista (is he the barrista if he's the only one working?) "It's quiet in here?" to which he replied "Yeah, it's a little weird when everything is off all at the same time."

Well needless to say, all I'm going to do here is make this post and walk home because I think I've done all the thinking that I'm going to do here without starting to hear the voices that actually are in my head and I try to supress!

But I figured I'd be a little productive and actually write a post - which I'm doing now and actually getting used to this little Mac.

The music started - thank goodness, and now I hear a refrigerator running. Little whispers from the other patrosn....ok, it's getting back to normal.

Oh for the love of God there's some girl at the counter talking to the barrista loudly about petting a dolphin and how you can't touch penquins...blah...blah...blah.....I feel bad for the barrista because he feels like he has to engage her. He is SO talking out of his ass, and she doesn't get it..Oh yeah, they're all muscle - animal welfare...blah blah blah...I wonder if she knows he's gay? For the love of Pete some guy with a dog just walked in, now she's interested in the dog and forgotten all about the poor dolphins and penquins you can't pet.

Son of a bitch, the dog is pawing at my leg, I DO NOT want to get involved in this, it's only a matter of time before her attenion to the dog wanes and she turns her attention to me! Oh why the hell can't she shut the fuck up....

Oh, I just realized why everyone is so quiet in here....

I have to go home now.


Anonymous said...

...actually I'm not a barista, I'm in packaging sales. I just help out when I can. That was a scream. I was just telling friends about the crazy Indian girl with NO social skills. Thank god you put it funnier than I could!

The Sour Kraut said...

Did you like the Mac enough to come over to the bright side?

Michael said...

Anon - Thank you for corroborating my story - see not everything is made up : -)

TSK - Due to the circumstances in this post, I really didn't use the machine for more than 30 minutes. So I can't make a fair assessment at this time.

J.P. and Earl said...

Once you go Mac you never go back. Mark my words.

Ditsy Bint said...

Mac convert here too.

*rubs her little pink MacBook Pro*