Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Why is the NRA calling me?

Work is only 2 miles from home, so The Roomate and I typically come home for lunch, it's a great convenience - plus it gives us a break from The Office grind.

While we were having lunch today, the phone rang......now during business hours the only people that call the home number are solicitors. We don't even bother going for the phone, but I did glance at the Caller ID.

It was the NRA calling. It actually said "NRA - 703-656-9940"

I was duly intrigued....why oh why would the NRA be calling a homosexual that lives in the middle of third largest city in the country? So of course I had to "make them work for their money."

ME: Hello (in the worst voice that I can make)
NRA: Hello?

M: Hello? Hello?
NRA: Hello is Michael Lxxx there?

M: Who?
NRA: Michael Lxxxx?

M: Who?
NRA: Michael Lxxx?

M: Oh, you mean Michael. Who is this?
NRA: This is the NRA Ma'am. (Why does everyone call me ma'am on the phone, do I really sound THAT GAY?)

M: NRA, you mean the National Rifle Association?
NRA: Yes ma'am

M: You mean the organization that thinks it's ok for people to own ak-47's?
NRA: Well ma'am we support a persons right to bear arms.

M: Oh you mean we're at war? Did those damn Brittish invade us again?
NRA: What?

So, before he could actually figure out what's going on, I started talking REALLY FAST.

M: Oh you're the NRA that thinks it's ok to own Assault Weapons, what for deer hunting? Have you ever been deer huntin'? You don't need an assault weapon for that you know. You can pretty much just walk up to 'em and shoot 'em in the head. You don't need an assault weapon for that now do ya?
NRA: What...?

M: Oh wait, who were you looking for?
NRA: Michael Lxxxxx

M: Oh....well you've got the wrong place, we don't think people should own guns.
NRA: ((click))

Well it's their own fault, they called me I didn't call them.


Bro Robin said...

"...the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

The Medium Swede said...

My whole thought on the NRA is they are a-holes. They have completely bastardized the tenor (not the Placido Domingo type tenor) of the constitution.

It was the right to form a militia in case we are invaded.

I hate NRA representatives (and Illinois Nazis) Name that movie Michael.

The Sour Kraut said...

Good for you Micheal!!

Jen Magnuson said...

Oh My God, I love you. I live in a town (please help me) that does not HAVE SCHOOL on the first day of huntin' season. Swear.

I think it's time the second ammendment got a major overhaul.

Jen Magnuson said...

make that amendment.

Andy said...


Michael said...

Hi Jen - Thanks for stopping by. I know exactly what you mean, I grew up in the country and we always had the first day of hunting season off as well!

faith said...

I thought the second amendment was about naked bronzed arms!!! Damn!! Now I know how to confuse those guys when they call here, use your "script" or go off about BARE-ING naked tanned arms all through Seattle!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe they were just looking for a butt-fucker. There are gun toting fags in the NRA, too. Faggery is everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Just called my number, too. I contributed for an extra membership just for you, Mikey-pooh

Anonymous said...

They just called me, too. Maybe they have decided that gay America should be heavily armed.

Newaukum said...

Protect your right to keep and arm bears.