Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Weekend of Technology!

Ah, the joys of being Gay and not having crumbsnatchers running around asking for toys and food, it's great! It means I get to spend all of my money on me and the gadgets that make my life exciting!

This past weekend I stopped at my local Best Buy to puruse their collection of Cell Phones. My contract with the heinous corporation that is called Cingular had recently expired and it was time for me to get a new cell phone AND a new cell provider. Cingular isn't really that bad (yes it is) I used to drop calls all the time and I could only barely receive reception at my house. The only place where I could reliably get a signal was in my bedroom (which is not bad if you're having phone sex) or in the bathroom - conveniently there is a seat there, but who wants to talk while sitting on the throne?

On top of all that I had killed my Razr about 3 months ago - it deserved to die, it was THE WORST phone evah, and I had purchased a "replacement" phone on Craigslist because there was no way I was getting suckered into extending my contract with Craptacular.

After I entered the store I circled the Cell Phone area a few times. I didn't want the guy manning the area to know exactly what I was doing so I would look at two phones and then run over and look at a movie, then swoop back in and look at a few more phones, then run over to the cameras and I finally sat down in the "video game area" pulled out my binoculars and looked at the rest of the phones from afar. Once I found a few phones I liked I approached the area with my hands in my pockets and whistling a tune so that it looked like I just "happened" upon the cell phone kiosk.

Of course the young man (at my age everyone is a young man) approached me and started firing questions at me: What was I looking for? Did I want to send Video Messages to my BFF's? Did I even know what TXT'ing was?

I, in turn, looked him straight in the eyes and gave him my list of demands:

- No Cingular - EVER (shouted just like Mommie Dearest, I might add)
- I wanted a cool phone
- No 2-year contract

Well wouldn't you know, the little bugger ended up getting me to sign a 2-year contract, but I also got a new carrier (Verizon - so now I get to call my parents for free) and a VERY cool phone. I got the new LG Chocolate 8550, music player, cameraphone, it does everything except pleasure me manually, but I think there's an add on for that at only $9.95 a month.

As I was standing there waiting for him to fill out the paperwork I looked at the impulse items that were sitting on a table, only they weren't impulse items. At first I had to take a second glance....were those Wii's sitting out there - in the open?

Holy Mother of God, it was....there were 5 Wii's sitting out there all by themselves. How could this bii? Wii's have notoriously been out of stock since before last Christmas, yet right here in front of me were sitting 5 of them. This was unimaginable!

I looked around to see if there was a line for these little Wii's and to my surprise there wasn't, there wasn't even a buzz that they were sitting there. There was nothing indicating that there were Wii's in the open and available for purchase, in fact it looked almost like a clearance table - thus the reason why there were still sitting there.

Being the sly person that I am, I quickly reached over, grabbed a Wii, an extra controller, an extra nun-chuck, an extra game and sashayed over to where Mr. Man was completing my cell phone contract.

I set the merchandise down and nonchalantly said "Oh, yeah, I'll take this too." You shoudl have seen his eyes when my bill went from just a measly $99 + tax all the way to a skyrocketing half a grand!

So now, I am the proud owner of a very cool and very exciting new phone but also the proud owner of a Wii!

The Wii is SO MUCH FUN!!!!!! Let me know when you're in the neighborhood and we'll have a Wii Championship, I think you'll love it as much as I do.


The Neighbors Will Hear said...

I hate to be off topic, and please feel free to delete this comment after reading it, but if your email address was somewhere, anywhere on this page or on your profile, it would be sooooooo much easier to email you with my speculation about what happens after the end of The Magician's Assistant. Have a nice day.

Antipodeesse said...

Michael, I know nothing about technology, but this has to be one of your funniest posts!

BTW, I already have your email address. Not like some people...

Andi said...

so do I!

I also have a wii or however you type it and I am pretty god-damned mother fucking awesome at tennis and bowling so BRING IT ON!

ivan said...

I wanna play.

Michael said...

Andi - I need your Wii number so you can send me your Mii.

Ivan - Come on over any time, just give me 5 minutes notice.

Jelly said...

I'm soooo lame. I don't even know Wtfii a Wii is!! You're so funny though. I wish you were my neighbour.

CanadianSwiss said...

I never quite figured out this Wii thing, but I do remember last winter in Canada when all the stores were sold out.

Sheri said...

I just stumbled across your weblog ... I am enjoying your writing style and topics! (I just got a chocolate, and was searching for cool things and hacks ...)

I too have a wii ... gotta say, though, I suck at tennis.