Friday, November 09, 2007

NEWSFLASH: Christmas officially cancelled in LA & Chicago

All I can say is THANK GOD!

The FBI recently announced that shopping malls in the LA & Chicago area are possible targets by al Qaeda, now why in God's Name would al Qaeda want to go shopping at Old Navy and Kohl's?

al Qaeda has been talking about this September, which means it's right around the same time that Target started putting up their Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas decorations to get us all in the mood to spend more money than we have in our bank accounts.

So I am making the first official anouncement....Christmas is cancelled in Chicago! Sorry folks but I can't risk being seen, er....I mean, can't risk being caught in, er....I mean, I can't risk having my life ended only because I wanted to get my sister a cheap hoodie from Old Navy and some candles for my Mom from Illiminations.

Please don't expect Christmas presents from me, I'm too afraid (meaning I've never been) to go to the mall! I hope you all understand.

And I'm sure now that I've added the words al Qaeda to a blog post I'm going to get even more traffic from the US Government. I bet they're just looking for Pussy anyways - btw, have you voted yet?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jeezus Christ on a stick! Is there no fear mongering these asswipes won't stoop to?

Well I have news for Bush and Cheney and the Department of Homeland Security: I AM NOT AFRAID. So bugger off and join Larry Craig in an airport mens room somewhere, you fear-mongering wankers!