Monday, March 24, 2008

Why do we eat Ham on Easter? or WTF was I thinking?

Several weeks back, in fact right after I returned from 10 glorious days in Florida, The Roommate nonchalantly said "I think I want to host Easter at our house this year. It will give my Mom a break.......shortly after that I started to phase out as I went into Party Planning Mode. BUT, this was The Roommates Easter, not mine, so I would just be there as a facilitator.

So for a few weeks I didn't think about it, as it wasn't my party and I would just be helping out.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

Everything was working out swimmingly, we had gone grocery shopping, The Roommate had made out the menu, again I was just going along for the ride pushing the buggy and handing the nice lady my Sam's Club Card.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

Saturday rolled around, we sit down and I force The Roommate to make out a time schedule so he knows when everything is to go in what oven/fridge/microwave and what time everything will come out (believe me you, if you do nothing else when you host a party - make a schedule {{if only to look back and say "oops that's where it all went to hell"}}

I collected all of the vases and the flowers that had been purchased the day before and set out to make the most unfabulous flower arrangements ever made by a gay man who doesn't have the decorating gene - we were on our way to a flawless Easter.

We finished up our "Forced Spring Cleaning" and took a well deserve nap (separately of course - you pervs!)

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

Sunday morning rolled around and after lounging in bed wathing "Sunday Morning" I decided to start the day. We got tablecloths around, cleaned potatoes, pulled out the slowcookers and started to get the house into "Party Mode"

Since I have half of the Gay Gene and The Roommate has none, I'm forced to set up the house on my own as when I tell The Roommate "Just set it up nice" it usually ends up as a pile in the middle of the coffee table and when I question him about it he says "I did what you told me" of course he did!

We were having 20 people for a sit down dinner, and yet we only have 12 chairs in the house - total! The big quandry was "where is everyone going to sit" We had a big banquet table (you know those ones with the fold-up legs but not enough chairs. As we were setting up the living room inspiration hit me - we've got two couches here, who needs chairs. In a glorious moment, we set up the table and pulled the couches onto either side, "Vye Ola" (as Kelly Bundy would say) Seating for 8! And Classy too.

Everything was working out well, we follow the schedule and got the food in at the appropriate time and then it happened......the phone rang.

"But, dinner is at 4:30? Fine, fine, whatever just get here when you can."

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

Dinner had to be pushed back 45 minutes - no problem that's what the schedule is for, we had plenty of time to adjust things.

We were doing well on our newly time schedule and were coming up on the last 30 minutes before the meal and all hell broke loose. Everyone showed up at the same time!

I swear they must have rented one of those little busses that shuttles people to the casinos because going from a house full of nothing to a house full of 15 cooks was chaos.

We got the food on the table, everyone ate and then sat around for 2 hours and talked while we cleaned up.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?

Everyone "Forgot" their tupperware and assumed that we were "just like Mom" and have lots to spare, but there's a big difference, we're two Gay men and she's a Grandma with 7 kids and who knows how many grandkids (I'm sure they know, it's just that I don't know). So needless to say, our refrigerator is fully stocked for the next 2 months.

Who wants to come over for dinner? Yeah, and why do we eat Ham on Easter? Is it because it's like the "anti-jewish" food or something?

5 comments:

Ice John's World said...

Wow! At least, it sounds like you and your roommate had a wonderful Easter party! Now you two can have the leftover for lunch until the Memorial Day! LOL.

The Big Finn said...

Wow, I haven't seen a whole ham for a long time! For some reason, they don't really sell whole hams here very often like they do in North America. We kind of stick to leg of lamb at Easter. Ours was 5.5 lbs. and cost about $100 - crazy expensive! What's a ham cost these days in the U.S.?

I'll be in Chicago in just under a month. Maybe I'll have to swing buy and help you guys clear out the freezer!

Michael said...

Ice John - We most definitely will, you should stop over for lunch.

TBF - I probably shouldn't tell you that we got a 15 pound ham for $32

David said...

WOW! Michael, you and Roommate are such awesome hosts... too bad the M family rented that shuttle bus to have them all arrive at the same time!

andy said...

Sounds fabulous and the photos on flickr are great.

Re Why the Ham, only you could come up with that!