Friday, May 30, 2008

Live Blogging - The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee

What is up with the kids that are on this spelling bee? They all seem to be ADD/ADHD...the guy that was just on (and lost) was tugging at a piece of his hair the entire time. Even after he walked off stage he was still holding onto his hair.

One kid just asked for the definition 4 times, I've always been of the theory - if you don't know it now, you won't know it later. I shop for clothes the same way, if I don't like it now......I'm not going to like it later.

These have got to be the smartest nerdiest kids I have ever seen. But the funny thing's JUST like The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee musical.

One kid is writing in her hand, another is writing it in the air, another covering her mouth, but then I shouldn't say anything because I've never won a spelling bee.

The only thing I won was a leather contest in Florida!

Ha ha, ABC just did a spoof commerical with the kids of Putnam County - hilarious.

OMG, this guy looks like he's 30?! Isn't there an age limit?

And they have commentators, just like Football - which again, I know very little about.

It's just like American Idol but with nerdy kids....oh god, I just realized it's Friday night and I'm sitting home live blogging about a spelling bee.

I've got to go get drunk or something!

Oh what a scare!

OMG, I just went to YouTube to do my daily checking of my videos.....and when I clicked on one of them it gave and error and said "We're sorry, this video is no longer available."


Thoughts of last year when they deleted my account for showing one little man penis started shooting through my mind....had my IML video "offended" someone? I tried to mark it as "adult" or whatever, but there doesn't seem to be any kind of setting that you can put on it.

Then I checked some of my other videos.....FUCK....same message. OMG, was YouTube in the midst of cancelling my account in realtime? I started checking email, did I get a warning? Gmail, YouTube email...nothing.

So I gave it a rest, just a few minutes really, came back and the same thing. But I could still get to my profile. Do I start making a list of my contacts and subscribers and friends?

Finally after about 15 minutes all of my videos came back online....whew thank god!

I don't think I could go through that again!

The Joys of Living in Chicago

You know, they say that Global Warming is bad....I don't agree with them, I think Global Warming is pretty good in fact.

Only with Global Warming does one get the opportunity to experience three out of four seasons in three days!

Even though Memorial Day is the "official" kick off of summer, in Chicago it's not summer until the temps hit 80 for more than one day in a row. Just this week we had the following weather patterns:

Sunday - mid-60's by the lake with a lovely breeze, the perfect spring day.
Monday - low-80's by the lake without a breeze, but cloud cover, the perfect summer day.
Tuesday - low-40's by the lake, no sun, lots of wind, lots of cloud cover, the perfect winter day.

Ah, the joys of living in Chicago!

How many different seasons did you enjoy this week?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

IML Lite

IML was this weekend....oh you don't know what IML is? Well it's International Mr. Leather....which is basically a big sex party weekend with men dressed in Leather, or Uniforms, or Fur Suits, or Vinyl Suits or no Suits at all.

Let's just say that IML is always a crazy Memorial Day weekend and the perfect way to kick of summer in Chicago.

I don't know how to explain IML, so I'll let my friend Paul show you, because it was his first time too!

I'm finally legitimate!

I finally went out and bought the domain name:

Marc & Fausto (from The Feast of Fools) were the impetus behind this as they told me it was time to grow up and get a real domain!

Well it's done, but don't worry all of your links to me will still work, they'll just get automagically re-routed!

I'm a Big Boy Now!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I knew it, I just knew it

Remember a few weeks ago when I mentioned that I wasn't going to be renewing my Broadway in Chicago tickets for next year?

I sorta made a prediction based on the seating chart included in my renewal notice that Wicked was going to be closing.......Well, it was announced today that Wicked is going to be closing in January 2009.

So remember, the longer you wait, the longer you'll wait to see WICKED!

But hurry - only through January 2009

Friday, May 23, 2008

A New Lip Dub - See You Again - Miley Cyrus

***UPDATE*** Welcome Feast of Fools listeners. If you've come this far, you've passed the point of no return. Thanks for checking out my blog and check out my latest Lip Dub!

***** Scroll down for the most current entries *****

I know you've been chomping at the bit for this one, especially since I gave you a little teaser last week.

After a few weeks of filming and lip syncing practice I am proud to present my latest jump further into proving that I am actually a Teenage Girl in a 39 year old gay man's body!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I'm on ANOTHER Podcast!

Can you believe it.....two podcasts within days of each other? I can't believe it either.

A few weeks back I ran into the guys that run the Feast Of Fools which is the #1 GLBT Podcast on iTunes!

We had made plans to go watch the fire spinning and drum beating at the Full Moon Jam at the lakeside last night when Marc called and asked if I'd like to come over early and tape a show with them.

To quote a line from "Into the Woods" And he made me feel excited-Well, excited and scared, needless to say, the prospect of joining these two pros at the mic was a little daunting.

Let's just say they made me feel very comfortable and I'm happy to say I didn't freeze like Cindy Brady when that red light came on.

Check out the podcast HERE

You can also subscribe to Feast of Fools via iTunes HERE and believe me you, they are the #1 GLBT Podcast for a reason!

I also got the chance to finally meet and hang out with another Gay Chicago Blogger - RocketMan Rick. Rick and I have "known" of each other for a while and have actually chatted on the phone, but never had the opportunity to meet and hang out. He joined us for the Full Moon Jam where we snapped lots of pictures and videos!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

First Neighborhood Gayby Sighting

I was walking in the neighborhood this weekend and I had my first official, out in the open Gayby sighting.

What's a Gayby Sighting? Well according to Urban Dictionary, a Gayby is a baby of Gay Parents.

I knew the phenomenon was spreading, in fact I have friends that have friends (that aren't my friends) that recently adopted a baby but continue to go out partying 5 nights a week!

I guess if you can afford a baby you can afford a nanny....

What's up with these gays?

Monday, May 19, 2008

There is a difference

Between Showtunes and Soundtracks

There most definitely is!

Paige M Gray

If you're out there somewhere in the Edgewater Neighborhood of Chicago and you lost your Chase Debit Card after you used it on Hollywood & Broadway.

I just wanted to let you know that I found your card in the grass and I called the bank to deactivate it for you.

I know the internet is good to help find people but hell I'd never find you!

A Bowl Full of Fruit

Well the boys at Loopy Fruit have done it again, if you can believe it.

They invited me back on their show - I know they're just gluttons for punishment aren't they? They're such clean-cut boys and I feel as though I corrupt them everytime I visit.

In a matter of 30 minutes we talked about Target, The Pope and Cunnilingus, fortunately I kept the swearing to a minimum and I confessed to finally being a Teenage Girl!

So if you'd like to hear a little more of the madness behind the Man check out the latest Loopy Fruit episode


I of course sound as gay as ever, so you won't be disappointed, and you'll be glad to know that I am now the leader in being a guest on Loopy Fruit.

Go check it out and leave comments for the boys - maybe they'll ask me back more often. I could be the Paul Lynde of Loopy Fruit and shout quips from the center square!

Friday, May 16, 2008

When a Bake Sale Isn't a Bake Sale

I work in the "corporate" offices for a medium sized company (we have about 1,000 employees in the US and about 10K worldwide), and occassionally we have fund raisers as part of our "corporate charity" program.

Today one of the groups held a bake sale, they've been advertising it all week with flyers throughout the building, making us all salivate with the thoughts of pies with crusts made with pure lard and cookies that melt in your mouth.

There was a resounding "The Bake Sale Started" about 15 minutes ago so we all hauled ourselves to the elevator to go down 4 floors and see what magical things were being laid before us to purchase and eat.

Well, let's just say there was a whole lot of chaos going on down there, people were scattered everywhere, money was being pushed at the cashiers while others were frantically purchasing raffle tickets to hopefully win the big prize "a boombox lunch box"

As I started surveying the goodies laid out on the tables in front of me, I noticed that there were an awful lot of store brand cookies (you know the kind that the store bakes, puts in those big plastic clamshells and then slaps their store label on), store brand cakes, store brand pies.

The last time I was at a bake sale, people actually BAKED! But I guess people are too busy now with their lives that the equivalent to baking is being able to walk to a grocery store, throw some cookies covered in plastic in your cart and calling it "homemade."

As the smile on my face turned into a frown, I simply bought my raffle tickets (and hoping that I would win the grand prize) and left the cafeteria a little bit sadder than when I entered it.

There was a good thing though, as I was walking back to my desk, I passed a co-worker who had individual "things" wrapped in pink saran-wrap - could it be, a truly homemade confection? What are those? Strawberry Cream Puffs....Oh I've got to have one, I don't know how much they're going to sell them for, here I'll give you $2 that's more than they're going to charge!

Oh it was so good, and delicious, the bake sale was saved.

The only problem was 30 minutes later she came back and said "Oh they were selling them for $3, I need an extra dollar."

I'd better win that boombox lunch box combo!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

We just let them figure it out

I found this most hilarious website Postcards from you Mama

My favorite one so far is the one entitled Wedding

Hi Son,

We already sent the response card to your uncle but try calling him or Amy and try asking if you could bring a friend to the wedding. You are about the same age and you played with her while you were kids.

For your second question, we usually just let them figure it out. Just wear a appropriate outfit and I like your hair shorter like last time. Being gay i genetic, maybe Dad’s side, and we will always love you and we are very proud of you. We are just glad that God gave us two wonderful children.

Dad and Mom

My parents are the same way. It sorta makes me wish that my parents were on the internet, I'm sure that I could supply my own website! And if my Mom knew what a blog was, she'd be all over it!

Monday, May 12, 2008

A least he watched the whole thing!

I just need one more to make the trifecta of gay bashing.

Remember last year when I had the Trifecta of getting kicked out/off of things? HERE First it was YouTube that deleted my account and then it was the grocery store, the movie theater and finally the cemetery. Wow, and that was just a year ago.

So apparently I need to go through a Trifecta Annually, because I just got Hate Crimed on YouTube.

And all because of my mad-girl crush on Miley Cyrus and making videos of me lip syncing to her songs, I mean come on, really.

A rather lovely gentleman on YouTube kindly pointed out today that I was a "Fat Fag......."

You should go check out the conversation

So first I'm getting gay bashed in my neighborhood and on the interwebs, what's left? I just need one more for the perfect trifecta of gay bashing!

Mojito Madness

The other night I went over to some new friends house to talk about video cameras. I somehow ended up trying to make mojitos while being videotaped.

Funny how as I'm always behind the camera, it's really difficult being in front of the camera!

I had the great opportunity of meeting the Feast of Fools boys in person a few weeks ago while visiting a local watering hole. We started talking about videocameras and next thing I knew I was standing on their threshold with a bag containing all of my videocameras!

During the course of the evening Fausto was showing me how this great new website Tube Mogul where you can post one video and it gets transferred to all of the video sites you belong to, and he ended up posting a video that we shot that evening.

Check out this totally unedited, unrehearsed, unendorsed, unbranded, un-everything Feast of Fools video.

If you want a really bad mojito recipe, watch this!

Friday, May 09, 2008

I can't tell??

Read This Is this for real?

updated 2:51 p.m. CT, Fri., May. 9, 2008
LAS VEGAS - Elizabeth Halverson is a judge. But the way courthouse staffers see it, she expects to be treated like a queen.

Her former bailiff, for example, says Halverson made him feel like a "houseboy." He says the judge — who is obese and uses a motorized scooter to get around — made him put her shoes on her feet, massage her back, cover her with a blanket for naps and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. He says she asked him, "Do you want to worship me from near or afar?"

Halverson also surrounded herself with her own hired guards, saying she did not trust the courthouse security force to protect her. Another time, she allegedly had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath if he had completed chores at home.

Since then, the 50-year-old Nevada district judge has been locked out of her Las Vegas courtroom, suspended from the bench and brought up on judicial-misconduct charges that include not only misusing her position and treating her staff like personal valets, but also tainting juries and falling asleep on the bench.

Nevada's judicial discipline commission is preparing for a week of open hearings next month that could put an end to Halverson's career.

Many lawyers are unwilling to talk publicly about the case because of the powerful figures involved, but expect the proceedings to be entertaining, to say the least.

Halverson denies the allegations against her.

"We believe the Judicial Discipline Commission has overreached," said her attorney, John Arrascada. "It's apparent that some people believe her physical appearance somehow makes her unable to perform her duties as a judge." He added: "Last time I checked, being a judge doesn't require a beauty contest."

Halverson holds a law degree from the University of Southern California and worked as a law clerk in the state court for nine years before she was elected to the bench in the fall of 2006. She handled civil and criminal cases alike.

When the bailiff who complained about her, Johnnie Jordan Jr., was reassigned, Halverson hired her own guards and let them bypass security checks at the courthouse. She then called 911 when court administrators tried to enter her office.

Commission calls her 'substantial threat'
Last May, the chief Clark County District Court judge, Kathy Hardcastle, locked her out of her courtroom. The following July, six months after Halverson was sworn in, the Judicial Discipline Commission suspended her, accusing her among other things of creating a hostile work environment, hiring a technician to try to hack into the courthouse computer system, and causing mistrials in two sexual assault cases by improperly meeting with jurors.

The commission declared that she posed "a substantial threat to the public or to the administration of justice."

The case is laden with subplots. Hardcastle dismissed Halverson as a law clerk in 2004, saying that such a position is typically a short-time job and that it was time Halverson moved on. Halverson then mounted an unsuccessful bid for Family Court judge against Hardcastle's husband.

Hardcastle has insisted her actions against Halverson weren't personal.

Jeffrey Stempel, a law professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, said he is troubled by what appears to be an attempt to "micromanage" a judge.

"Judicial removal should generally be reserved for corruption and complete incompetence or inability to do the job," Stempel said. "One question you have to ask is, 'Is this judge so bad we have to remove her before the voters have a chance to do so?'"

Dayvid Figler, a defense lawyer, said he had no complaints after trying cases in Halverson's courtroom.

"In fairness, she believes she's fighting the fight of a maverick," Figler said. "I think her position is, 'Why should I be another cog in the machine? Isn't it what the voters elected me to do, bring change?'"

Filed for re-election
Amid the hullabaloo, Halverson has filed for re-election in August to a six-year term and is soliciting contributions on her Web site. But she has also filed a request to stop the election, claiming that the Legislature unconstitutionally changed the procedures. She continues to draw her $130,000-a-year salary.

Halverson did not respond to an interview request. A shirtless man who answered the door at her home pointed to a "no trespassing" sign and ordered a reporter off the property. The yard is clean these days, after the city cited Halverson for leaving it strewn with junk and letting the water in her pool grow murky and stagnant.

In documents denying the allegations against her, Halverson has blamed disgruntled employees and vindictive colleagues.

She has submitted a report from a therapist who diagnosed her with an adjustment disorder, anxiety and depression. And she produced a letter from her physician, Dr. Michael Jacobs, who said she is diabetic, uses a wheelchair because of arthritis in her feet and knees, and needs oxygen to counteract the effects of sleep apnea.

Jacobs said a drop in blood sugar may have caused a brief episode in which she fell asleep in court. But he said there is no physical reason Halverson cannot be an effective judge.

A Fire Alarm, A Flat Tire and A Bus Ride

I was sitting at my desk going through some reports when my cell phone rang. When I looked at the Caller ID, I saw that it was my upstairs neighbor. I figured he was calling to chat about the latest design fashions and how we were planning to decorate our decks for summer. But alas, it was not to be a social call.

"The fire alarm in your house is going off!" Words you NEVER want to hear, that's for sure. The scary thing though was that The Roommate had the day off. I tried calling the house as I was running out of my office and throwing on my coat, no answer. Visions of him laying on the bed with his tongue hanging out and x's across his eyes as he was overcome with noxious fumes were flying through my head. I dialed his cellphone and finally after 4 rings he picked up - "Where are you? The house is on fire!"

He had just left the house 15 minutes earlier to take the dog on a walk to the beach - at least he was safe and hadn't succumbed! I told him I was on my way home - fortunately I only work 2 miles from home and was able to get there rather quickly.

When I got home, it was discovered to be a false alarm with the alarm still blaring! After I knew that all was well, I walked back out the door and headed to my car that was parked illegally in the alley (I didn't feel like pulling into the garage), as I was driving down the alley I hear thump thump thump thump.

WTF! A flat tire, G*d D*amn It! There's a gas station right around the corner so I thought, I'll pull over there, air it up and drop it off at Sears (which is right next to work). Only when I got to the gas pump, the tire wouldn't take air - AT ALL!

G*d D*amn It!

I'm an expert at changing tires, so I pulled everything out, jacked up (not off) the car, loosened the lug nuts and was ready to do the tire exchange when the tire wouldn't come off of the axel (or whatever it's connected to). I tried and tried and tried, but I could not get that damn tire off! I tugged and tugged and tugged but it was securely connected to the drive shaft. As i was tugging I reached behind the wheel to get some leverage and there was a HUGE gash (about 6 inches long) along the inside of the tire. Ah, that's why it won't hold air!

G*d D*amn It!

So I put the lug nuts back on and drove back to the house on my rapidly losing support tire. I pulled into the garage and went to the house where my roommate gave me a quizzical look of "what are you doing here and where have you been for the last 15 minutes."

All I said was "Tire, flat, couldn't change, hands dirty, pointy toed shoes, gotta go back to work."

I quickly washed my hands and ran out the door setting on a course for the closest bus stop! After a quick 20 minute ride and a seemingly seamless transfer I was back in the office.

Everyone was glad that my house hadn't burned to the ground and they got a chuckle when I said I tried to change the tire. I looked at them and said "Hey, I may video tape myself lip synching to Miley Cyrus songs, but I CAN change a tire - ya know!"

So how was your Friday?

Wednesday, May 07, 2008


Originally uploaded by Michael_L
Gotta get something happy up here.

Today I got a box from my Mom...that can only mean one thing....Treats From PA!

Included in the box were Middleswarth Potato Chips (Plain, Sour Cream & Onion and BBQ) all sorts of Tastykakes including my favorite Tandykakes and Butterscotch Krimpets and some Chocolate Cupkakes that I'll maybe let my Roommate eat.

There were also bags of candy and twizzlers and to balance the whole thing out there were Special K Granola Bars.

On top of the box was an envelope and inside was this fabulous picture taken of us in 1978 when we went to Hawaii for my Dad's Companys Annual Convention.

I remember that trip distinctly, 30 years later....oh my god, 30 years ago!

I've got to go have a cocktail!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

I'm just another statistic now

I was Hate Crimed this afternoon!

My friend David and I go for a walk out to the lake at least 3 times a week. This afternoon as we were walking out of his house this group of young guys walking behind us started saying things.

At first I wasn't paying attention because even though they were talking louder than need be, I had no interest in what they were saying. But then I heard fucking faggot. I looked at my friend and said "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?"

Then there were about four more faggots thrown and fucking neighborhood and "yeah I'm talking to you, you faggots"

Now this is all going on during the end of rush hour on a fairly busy street, granted we were the only ones within ear shot but there were people walking on the other side of the street and there were people walking towards us.

We didn't turn around, because I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of "outing me" but at the same time I so wanted to turn around and say something, but I didn't know how many of them there were, I felt there was no reason to put us in harms way so we just ignored them.

Which I think pissed them off even more, Good! I reached in my pocket dialed 911 and told the operator that I wanted to report a hate crime that was going on right now and asked if she'd stay on the phone. As we kept walking and moving towards people the cowards who were behind us turned onto the side street and kept walking.

I'm so mad right now, mad that I didn't do something more, mad that in this day and age two guys walking down the street get harrassed. And it wasn't like we were hugging and kissing or even touching, we had just walked out of his house and minding our own business. In fact when we walked out of the house I didn't even look in their direction (ergo the reason I didn't know how many of them there were and there was no way that I was going to turn around.

I knew they wouldn't attempt to do anything in the middle of the day, except throw out their "words" but it still frightens me, what if they had? What if they tried to jump us in the middle of the day in front of people?!?

I'm just out of words.....our world is so sad!

Monday, May 05, 2008

To The Moon Alice, To The Moon

The first form of spousal abuse I learned about was from Jackie Gleason. At least once a week (if not more) he would threaten his lovely flower of a wife, Alice, with a free round-trip to the Moon.

Everyone thought it was funny "To the moon Alic, to the moon" he would yell and people would laugh, but really all he was saying was "If there weren't all of these people around here I'd beat the shit out of you."

But regardless, I AM going to the moon. Yeah, bet you didn't see that one coming did you? Do you want to come with me? Or as they say in the Midwest - "Do you wanna come with?"

You can if you like, and I'll even pick up the tab for you, gratis, no charge, just because you're you!

Don't worry about packing your bags, because you won't need any. In fact, the only thing going to the moon will be your name, but isn't that enough really? NASA has invited us all to join them on a trip to the moon (well, our names at least) via the "Send Your Name To The Moon Project"

You can sign up online and NASA will include your name on a specially manufacturered memory chip that will become part of a future spacecraft that will make it's way to the moon.

If you'd like to join me on my trip to the moon, you can sign up


I'll make sure to organize a big party when we get there!

Saturday, May 03, 2008


For all of the super long posts lately!

I hung out with the Feast of Fools boys last night!

Finally, a short post! Have a great weekend.

Friday, May 02, 2008

It's hard pretending

Yelle in Chicago
Originally uploaded by Michael_L
I don't care what your children say, it's hard pretending!

Not a very convincing hipster, huh?

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Big Gay Marathon is Finished

I am happy to announce that I have completed all of the necessary tasks required to renew my Gay Card for another five years! I was getting a little worried for a bit because I was afraid that I would not be able to complete all of the CE Units by the Deadline. Fortunately TBGM was just what I needed and in the end I prevailed and came out of it with Gay Pride Flags raised and blowing in the wind.

Yeah, who knew that you had to renew your Gay Card every five years? I didn't and was just as surprised when I got my renewal notice in the mail.

Fortunately earlier in the week I had earned enough credits to complete my Showtune Badge by see two shows in two nights! In fact that badge had the gold star on it for Extra Credit.

Saturday night I earned the Comedy Badge by going to see Margaret Cho at the fabulous historic Chicago Theater. Any gay that's any gay was there, as we stood on the balcony like Evita overlooking the entrance it was a sea of homo's everywhere. Homo's and fag hags, EVERYWHERE! If the right-wing conspirators wanted to get id of a bunch of homo's that would have been the place to target on Saturday night.

Maggie (as I call her now) was funny. Not as funny as she's been in the past, but still funny. Fortunately they had a big projection screen behind her so even from our nose-bleed inducing seats we were able to see all of her priceless facial expressions (sometimes they were funnier than the jokes).

She talked an awful lot about vagina's....really an awful long time....

One of the funniest things she said was that she liked hanging out the The Bears because she knew she was going to eat. Hanging out with the Twinks all they want to do is drink and do lines - she's hungry!

After the concert we headed out to The North End (a venerable Gay Bar which is the farthest north on the Gay Strip) where my friend tried to get me to do Karaoke. I decided that I did not need to Gay Chorus Badge this time around. I told him that I don't sing in front of people, I just video tape myself singing to other people's songs and post them on the internet. You have to draw the line somewhere!

I had 3 whole days between the Maggie Cho Show and my last event in TBGM - and boy did I need them.

Tuesday Night I earned enough credits to get my Economical Entertainment Badge. My Best Friend's Boyfriend introduced us all to Yelle and we were excited to pay a whole $15 for tickets to see her only Chicago appearance. I was decked out in my most favorite Forever 21 outfit in hopes that I would mix in with the crowd of Hipsters that were attending the show. Let's just say, I still stuck out!

You can tell you're getting old when you go to a concert and they have 3 acts before the main act, and the main act isn't scheduled to be on stage until 10:30 and you're typically in bed by 9:30! I stuck it out as the DJ set before the concert was great, there was a band that played (the DJ was better) and finally Yelle arrived at 10:30. You can also tell you're getting old when everyone around you is screaming and you're sitting there giving the polite Opera Clap to show your appreciation for her only being 30 minutes late.

The show was in an old music hall, so no seats, just a big open room. When Yelle took the stage we were towards the front and center - pretty good standing spots. Suddenly everyone started jumping up and down in sync as they were dancing to her french raps that I didn't understand, and you could feel the floor moving up and down. That's when you realize you're old and say "Holy crap, I'm gonna move over to the side of the floor here so I'm not in the middle of the collapse when it happens."

Overall though, the concert was good, it was worth the $15, that's for sure, and it helped me get my final CE Requirement for my Gay Card.

Now I'm just waiting to get my laminated card in the mail!