Friday, May 09, 2008

A Fire Alarm, A Flat Tire and A Bus Ride

I was sitting at my desk going through some reports when my cell phone rang. When I looked at the Caller ID, I saw that it was my upstairs neighbor. I figured he was calling to chat about the latest design fashions and how we were planning to decorate our decks for summer. But alas, it was not to be a social call.

"The fire alarm in your house is going off!" Words you NEVER want to hear, that's for sure. The scary thing though was that The Roommate had the day off. I tried calling the house as I was running out of my office and throwing on my coat, no answer. Visions of him laying on the bed with his tongue hanging out and x's across his eyes as he was overcome with noxious fumes were flying through my head. I dialed his cellphone and finally after 4 rings he picked up - "Where are you? The house is on fire!"

He had just left the house 15 minutes earlier to take the dog on a walk to the beach - at least he was safe and hadn't succumbed! I told him I was on my way home - fortunately I only work 2 miles from home and was able to get there rather quickly.

When I got home, it was discovered to be a false alarm with the alarm still blaring! After I knew that all was well, I walked back out the door and headed to my car that was parked illegally in the alley (I didn't feel like pulling into the garage), as I was driving down the alley I hear thump thump thump thump.

WTF! A flat tire, G*d D*amn It! There's a gas station right around the corner so I thought, I'll pull over there, air it up and drop it off at Sears (which is right next to work). Only when I got to the gas pump, the tire wouldn't take air - AT ALL!

G*d D*amn It!

I'm an expert at changing tires, so I pulled everything out, jacked up (not off) the car, loosened the lug nuts and was ready to do the tire exchange when the tire wouldn't come off of the axel (or whatever it's connected to). I tried and tried and tried, but I could not get that damn tire off! I tugged and tugged and tugged but it was securely connected to the drive shaft. As i was tugging I reached behind the wheel to get some leverage and there was a HUGE gash (about 6 inches long) along the inside of the tire. Ah, that's why it won't hold air!

G*d D*amn It!

So I put the lug nuts back on and drove back to the house on my rapidly losing support tire. I pulled into the garage and went to the house where my roommate gave me a quizzical look of "what are you doing here and where have you been for the last 15 minutes."

All I said was "Tire, flat, couldn't change, hands dirty, pointy toed shoes, gotta go back to work."

I quickly washed my hands and ran out the door setting on a course for the closest bus stop! After a quick 20 minute ride and a seemingly seamless transfer I was back in the office.

Everyone was glad that my house hadn't burned to the ground and they got a chuckle when I said I tried to change the tire. I looked at them and said "Hey, I may video tape myself lip synching to Miley Cyrus songs, but I CAN change a tire - ya know!"

So how was your Friday?


Andi said...

You are a man of many talents.

I couldn't change a tire if my life depended on it! said...

I kind of like this gather your skirt and step in the mud attitude.

Michael said...

Andi - Like my father, I'm a jack of all trades (and a master of none)

Gomad - Well, what else are ya gonna do!

Ice John's World said...

That ssounds like a busy and eventful Friday! Hope that your tire got replaced already.