Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Who's Yo Daddy

My friend Alex sent me this today and I just had to share it with you.

Who's Ya Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details;' or putting it another way..... Who's ya Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11. It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner-up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600
East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates, it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support them.

#5 is my favorite, which one is yours?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Live Forum - Let's take a glass together.

I'm currently standing in the glass bar at Sidetrack with about 80 other men. There's a great turnout this evening for the live podcast forum hosted by the Feast of Fools and brought to you by Life, with Project CRYSP, The Chicago Task Force on LGBT Substance Abuse and Sidetrack. The topic this evening...Alcohol Use/Abuse in the GLBT Community.

There's a nice mix of men here this evening, everyone seems to be enjoying their surroundings, and might I add, what an interesting place to hold this forum - at Sidetrack - the best Gay Bar in the country.

It looks like they're starting, so lets take a glass together and enjoy the forum. The hosts this evening are Fausto Fernos & Marc Felion, hosts of the Feast of Fools, the #1 downloaded Gay Podcast on iTunes. Joining them on the stage this evening are:

Dr. David McKirnan, Professor of Psychology at University of Illinois at Chicago, and a Research Investigator at Howard Brown. He began studying alcohol & drug use among GLBT people in the mid-80s and he later examined the intersection of substance use & HIV risk. Think of him as the Dr. Kinsey of booze!

Lisa Rivitz, the Program Manager for Recovering with Pride Substance Abuse Program at Howard Brown Health Center. Her work focuses on addictions, 12-step recovery for substance abuse and other compulsive behaviors, working with individuals to overcome their abuse with drugs and alcohol.

And two bartenders from your favorite gay bars in Chicago, from Sidetrack Paul Davis and from Minibar, Tom Andrika. Paul’s been in recovery for as long as he’s been a bartender at Sidetrack, which has been called the “best gay bar in America.” What’s it like to be a bartender at such a well visited place when you don’t touch the sauce?

What does it mean to drink responsibly?

What is our relationship to alcohol. The boys start off by sharing some information about themselves. When Marc & Fausto first started the show four years ago they would always have a cocktail before (or during the show) because their vision of the show was that you (the listener) was stopping by for conversation and cocktails....but they do their show 5 days a week. They decided after a while that doing a show 5 days a week and drinking just didn't mix, so they started making their cocktails with water and continued on with the show, in fact Fausto's mother, who listens to the show, was concerned that he was drinking too much.

As a side note - the boys next to me have decided to play game where they take a drink everytime someone on the panel says "alcohol"

Marc is sharing another story of how he had a friend that he thought was drinking a lot, so he talked with her and voiced his concern. She told him "...from time to time, we all pass out in bars." To which Marc replied, "No, from time to time we don't ALL pass out in bars." Unfortunately due to her drinking problem Marc and she are no longer friends.

People don't think that alcoholism hurts you but a friend of Fausto's stopped drinking cold turkey - and died. Marc's sister died from an upper GI bleed - because she was a chronic alcoholic. Even though you may not think so, alcohol affects your body and your health in ways that you can't imagine.

A Toast: "Alcohol the cause of and the solution of all of life's little problems."

How do you keep track of your cocktails.

Fausto uses an ingenious way, he takes a sharpie and makes an x on the back of his hand - oh wait, no he doesn't, he just said that because David Beckham is the spokesperson for Sharpie and he wanted to work that link in there. Seriously though, after you've had a few drinks, you do sort of lose track of the total number that you've consumed.

Two of the other members of the panel join the boys on the stage: Lisa Rivets and David McKirnan,

Paint a picture of what it means to be GLBT today and what our relationship with alcohol is.

David: Today versus Yesterday....He's been in this field of work for 25 years - longer than most of the men in this room have been alive, and the one thing that sticks out is that there was no forum where GLBT could get together and talk. There's been a cultural shift that you can't over emphasize, the shift that it is. Look where we are? Look at how open it is, you can sit outside it's open, people are walking by on the street and able to see in. 25 years ago your basic gay bar was a smoky closed dump where you could never see in and once you were in you couldn't see out. It was a whole different world and a whole different field of study...and the thing is, that bars were all there were. There were no community centers like Center on Halsted, there was no place where people could converge and have a conversation like this, the bars were it.

We have more choices now

One of the first studies that David did was collecting interviews of coming out stories. At first he was amazed at the sheer number of guys that were kicked out of their homes by their parents. But a huge proportion of those men actually came out in the bars, because that was the only place that they could go.

Lisa: By the time that Lisa see's someone, they're coming to her because they know that they they have a problem. People do have more choices, the people that tend to come to Lisa for help are older men and women who came out in the bars. They typically have more issues with coming out, with socializing, or accepting themselves in the community, they always drank and it was a part of their life - and they still drink.

What is your interest in the GLBT community and Alcohol Use/Abuse?

Lisa: She is a member of that community, she enjoys working with glbt and knows the struggles they go through, she has gotten help for substance abuse in the past and now wants to help others. David's original interest was the connection between GLBT culture and alcohol abuse.

David was doing a study on Wilson Ave and his partner was working as a bartender at Different Strokes. She had mentioned to him that if he was interested in studying a group of people, she should take a look at some of her customers.

They conducted a large survey survey and the results showed that the use of alcohol was much lower than the myth of what was portrayed.

Gays are portrayed as alcoholics

It's the "Hollywood Way" - I've had a rough day so let's have a cocktail. And honestly, what is more stressful then being gay and hiding it. David continues talking about a study that they did comparing Straight Men to Gay Men of different ages and their use of Alcohol and Marijuana.

The graphs he says, look almost exactly the same, except that straight men were more likely to smoke marijuana. But an interesting thing happens around the age of 20, for straight men, the use of alcohol drops off, but gay men continue at that same rate for a much longer time. Typically in a heterosexual lifestyle, around the age of 20 a man will start to settle down, get married, have children - thus the alcohol use drops off.....but it's not the same way for gay men.

When you're gay, there's a lot of pressure. Pressure to feel/be hip, to be in shape, to be stylish. Gay men don't typically settle down at the same age as straight men, instead they're finding out what they want. It is much more acceptable to be an older gay man and be out in the bars drinking and looking for sexual partners than it is to be a heterosexual man in his 40's doing the same thing.

Do younger people struggle differently than their older counterparts? The younger ones are typically using other drugs in addition to alcohol and they're coming in for treatment sooner than they did before. The guys that in their 40's & 50's who seek treatment, are doing so because it's finally catching up to them. You can drink a lot and still not be alcohol dependent.

Why did they drink so much on TV in the 50's-60's & 70's, and we don't do that anymore?

The big difference was because that's what people did. People had bars in their home, they had a drink when they came home from work. TV was just mirroring what was going on in our own homes.

So, are we hiding it better now, are we drinking less?

People are still drinking, but now there is more of a concern about health than there was in the 70's, people are still drinking but they're more healthy. They're working out more, eating better.

Questions from the audience
What is the difference between alcohol and substance use/abuse or is there even one?

The majority of people who are drinkers are not abusers and are not dependent on alcohol. They can go out several times a week and it's jut part of the social experience. The difference is if there is a problem when drinking is involved, there are other signs that show up, they might be late to work, take too much time, spend more money than they intend to, they've given up other activities and suddenly everything centers around going out. Their world becomes more narrow.
Another element that is more relevant, are the motivations for drinking. It's not what you do, but why you do it. You drink with the strong expectation that this is going to make you a better person, more sexy. That is a predictor of problems versus the number of drinks that you consume. It's not what you do, but why you do it. People need to ask themselves: am I going too far, are there consequences, what is the personal cost, why am i doing this? Going back to Fausto's original idea to keep track of drinks - why do I have 6 or 7 marks on my hand when I only intended to have 2?

How can we determine if we are being successful in our moderation? It's when you can wake up the next morning and look at yourself in the mirror - do you feel guilty about what you did? Are you really in control?

How do we determine that the cause of the problem is alcohol?

Are the things that you do when you're drinking, things that you would do when sober. one way self-diagnose is to go for a week without a drink and if you have trouble doing that then sit down and think about why that is.....or whatever the problem is. It's not just alcohol, it could be any substance.

Is social drinking a form of addiction? There are a lot of men in their 60's who were social drinkers and performed well in their lives, but then all of a sudden they were in need of liver transplants. What do you mean by social drinking or are we trying to deny a drinking problem.

The "standard" for alcohol consumption is 2 drinks per day - for men - that's a standard shot, not an overpoured cocktail. For women it's even less, only one shot of alcohol per day, that works out to one glass of wine per day - the problem is, that's not much fun. People are really good at hiding that they're drunk.

A question is asked of the audience: How many people stop at 2 drinks? About 5 out of a hundred raise their hands.

The problem is really denial, we have our emphasis on some very serious drugs - like Crystal Meth. Everyone sees Crystal as the boogey man and they just tell themselves "Well, I'm only drinking, I'm not doing cocaine or crack, I'm just having a few drinks, what's the problem?" It's a form of denial. We seek out things to put the blame on, but we've accepted things in our life as "normal" and we blind ourselves from the real problems. In all honesty, the Crystal Meth issue is not a huge percentage of the GLBT Community, but almost all gay men drink. So alcohol is not seen as a problem because everyone uses it, but meth is a problem because so few people and the effects are so visible.

Why are we having this conversation in a bar?

Because this is the place where people who drink are coming, and we want to reach out to people, to make them aware of their drinking and give them a forum, like this, to be able to talk about it. There is no "one size fits all" solution to reaching people who have substance abuse issue, for some it's abstinence, for others they can moderate their drinking, but the message is that just because you do drink a often doesn't mean that you have to.

Bars are in integral part of our community, they are an interwoven piece of our community. The openness of the forum is a big thing and the message that it's healthy to have a bar that is not just a place to go and get cooked, there are other things that you can do there. That's why we're holding the forum here.

Tom Adrica from Mini Bar and Paul Davis from Sidetrack join the rest of the panelists on the stage.

How did you become bartenders in the first place, was this a dream job for you, or did you just settle?

Paul: He started at Sidetrack about 14 years ago as a doorman, he really just started working here as a job, he didn't drink but he could still hang out, meet people, have a few bottles of water and have a good time. He enjoyed being a doorman, but then he saw how much money he could make as a bartender. Sidetrack treats their employees well, they have Health Insurance, Dental Insurance, it's a good place to work.

What is the worst thing that you've seen?

One time he had to chase after someone who was having a bad drug reaction to anti-depressants and alcohol - they were running around the street in circles yelling and screaming.

Do you see yourselves as nurses, do you feel a certain responsibility that goes along with your position?

Absolutely! Sidetrack (as well as other bars) go through a lot of training with their bartenders, teaching them how they can approach someone who has had too much to drink, how they can help someone that may have met their limits. One thing in the state of Illinois is that if a person does anything while under the influence, the bartender is liable, everyone that interacted with that person (the doorman, the valet) is liable, so it's important to be able to see those signs in a person and react when necessary.

Have you ever had to take someone's keys.

Paul has a customer that he knows drives here and when he sees that his customer has had too much to drink he'll politely ask for the guys keys. Paul has a good rapport with his customers and he doesn't "point out" that someone has had too much to drink, instead he'll place a water in front of them to help them out.

What's the formula that you use to determine when to cut someone off?

Again it all comes down to training. The ability to see the signs and the behaviours, are they stumbling, slurring their speech, can you ask them a question and get an answer.

What can we do as friends to help our friends? How can we approach friends who may have a drinking problem?

Lisa: You can't take care of them, but you can express your concern. Explain to them the changes that you've seen in their behaviour, tell them about the things they used to do and what they do now. You can tell them what you see and you can suggest that they should get help, but they have to do it themselves.

What happens when you've shared that information with someone and they don't take your advice?

Paul: I cut people out of my life that told me I had a drinking problem, it was denial. Denial could be you standing there with a big sign up in the air saying "you drink too much" but to me it would be "why are you holding your arm up in the air?" You can be very accomplished at what you do and it will never occur to you that you should drink less.

Lisa: A lot of time when people seek us out for help, it may be because they were forced there, perhaps a DUI or work, or a lover - someone who has made the point and they've seen that they have a problem. You, as a friend, can help push them closer to that contemplation that they become aware that they have a problem, but they need to make that choice for help themselves. Some may listen and some may not.

Paul is a recovering alcoholic, does that make you nervous or anxious to see someone struggle with alcohol?

Paul: It doesn't make me nervous about my own drinking at all, when I work on a Saturday night and I see everyone partying and carrying on he is affirmed in his choice to not drink. A lot of people don't know that Paul is a recovering alcoholic and they want to do shots with him, he doesn't advertise that he doesn't drink, so while he'll make a Kool-aid shooter for them, he'll fill up a shot glass with cranberry juice and drink along with them and in fact there have been times when did "come out" to people an they chose to stop drinking after that, because they saw that you could still carry on and not drink.

David drinks, but Lisa doesn't - do you have anxiety regarding your own issues when you're helping out others with alcohol abuse?

For Lisa, she knows that anyone that comes to her for help has a chance of never having that problem again, and she wants to help as many people as she can. It doesn't make her falter about her own decisions because she sees the devastation that people have caused in their lives.

There is a lot of alcohol sponsorships in the GLBT Community, the Pride Parade has beer floats, brewers sponsor our events. What can we do as a community to address our collective issue with alcohol?

Paul: These are businesses, people, that are giving our community money,whether it be for good or ill. It's a fact: gay people like to drink and they choose to give their money back to those businesses that are supporting them in the community. I'm sure that if SC Johnson (a family company) had different programs we might be using more of their products. It just happens to be alcohol, but not all alcohol companies are supported - for example Sidetrack will not serve Coors because of what the organization supports.

Are we over reliant on money from alcohol companies?

I don't think so, I mean how much money is too much money? A lot of organizations have stopped taking tobacco money because of it's health effects. Are we so puritanical that we say we can take money from this group but not this group, it's not just alcohol, there are also a lot of automobile manufacturers that have donated money. Who do we say no too?

What do you feel you've learned over the years through your work?

Tom: he's been a manger and a bartender, he gets to step back and see other peoples reactions throughout the night. He used to be that "weekend warrior" or the person that had to celebrate his birthday for a week, but now he can say "No."

Lisa: It takes tremendous courage to become to a therapist and to say that I have a problem with alcohol, it's an honor for her to work with those people who have decided that it's time to get help.

David: Speaking as a researcher, it's always about getting funded. People don't fund projects on things they already know, so there's always that element of searching out the problems in a community whether it is alcohol, HIV or syphilis. He has seen the health and resilience of the gay community grow and expand.

Paul – the best hing about this job is that I get to meet people. The one thing that I've noticed is that they come to me for help, being on the other side of the fence he's able to offer advice and still remain friends with them and if someone does decide to stop drinking they still come to him because he's their friend.


Wow, what a great forum, please be sure to check out the Podcast version of the show over at the Feast of Fools

Keep a look out for the next Forum being held in November on "Booty Health"

For more info: Check out and subscribe to the Feast of Fools and please check out the sponsors of this great event: Life, Project CRYSP, and Sidetrack.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Out At The Ballgame

We had a great time at "Out At The Ball Game" this year. This was my fourth year of organizing a group of us to go - we had a blast, enjoyed watching the boys and watched a little bit of baseball to boot.


Saturday, July 26, 2008

Five little words

I'm sitting at Joy's Noodle House on Broadway near Aldine having a bite to eat. I never get to Boystown for dinner but this evening I had to meet up with a friend and drop off some tickets for the Cub's game that we're going to tomorrow.

Yes you read that correctly, I'm going to a baseball game. I may understand the game, but I can appreciate the men in tight pants running around stuff, I can totally appreciate that.

It's Out At The Ballgame what is Out At The Ballgame? It's Gay Day at Wrigley Field, but none of the straight people know that and they always seem to get upset when the boys start fucking each other in broad daylight...well at least that's what they think we gay boys do, but we don't. We are actually the most polite section there that day.

We politely clap after they show a replay on the television screens and explain what we should be clapping for. We never take a sip out of someone's beer as we pass it down the aisle. We always cover our faces when a foul ball comes our way, thus giving the straight boys more of an opportunity to catch a game ball.

We are inquisitive about the game and without shame ask the person next to us whether that point that was just scored was a goal or a basket, since all sporting events look the same to us.

Personally I find baseball much more exciting on TV than in real life, but to be honest if I'm home alone and there's a game on, I'm sure that I'd be watching PBS instead, so that should tell you a lot.

But I've been going to Out At The Ballgame for 4 years, last year there were almost 40 of us that went as a group and this year we're half that at 20, but we're gonna have a blast. There's nothing better than sitting in Wrigley Field surrounded by your friends drinking PBR, eating nachos and throwing the peanut shells on the ground. There's something about the energy at Wrigley that just excites the place.

I typically have no idea what is going on in that big green patch between here and the other side of the stadium, but apparently a lot of other people do, and that's all that really matters. I go for other reasons. The joy of being surrounded by those you love...and oh yeah, boy watching. I'll spend about 20 minutes in my seat during the entire game, and that includes the National Anthem and the Ceremonial First Pitch, after that it's free game to roam the stadium.

Walking from level to level, watching the game in between sets of heads, leaning against the railing and watching all the boys walk could it be any better than that? I said, I'm sitting in a restaurant in a part of town that I don't typically visit and as the guys sitting at the table next to me are leaving, the one guy leans over and says “Isn't your name Rick?” to which I replied, “No, I'm Michael.”

And then he said something that I thought I would never hear from another person, he said “Don't you have a blog?” He is a friend of my friend Pete of Pete The Blog. And he had found me via his site.....suddenly flashes started going though my head, should I be excited, should I be humble, should I be embarrassed? Oh god, I bet he's showing his dinner partner my Miley Cyrus video saying....that's that butch looking guy we saw at dinner....look how gay he is.......and I hope they're having a big laugh!

So thanks for saying Hi Random Guy at Dinner, you made my day.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Using Jane Lynch's Telephone

Marc from The Feast of Fools invited me to go to the HRC Summer Chic Event with him since his boyfriend Fausto has been ill for the past week fighting of Denuge Fever.

Fortunately I had a tux and was able to go on a moments notice (although I need to get more fashionable neckwear), and we headed off downtown to infilitrate the fancy people party.

Marc & Fausto had donated an item to the Silent Auction and they were also Media Sponsors for the event so in addition to the overall event we had the chance to go to the VIP Pre-Event Cocktail Party.

Funny thing though, was that we didn't know for sure if we had actually been invited to the reception so I just told Marc that we'll storm the gates and force our way through. Unfortunately all we really needed to do was flash our "table cards" and they let the draw bridge down and let us enter. Into a Suite that I would never be allowed into for any other reason. There was a piano in the foyer, a dining table with a view of the river and the Wrigley Building, a beautiful sitting area that was divided by a fireplace.

Besides having the wonderful chance to spend the evening with Marc, we got to meet Jane Lynch. She was the keynote speaker at the event and she was milling around the Cocktail Party, so Marc and I decided that we needed to meet her. So we got close to where she was sitting on the couch, and what does she do but motion to Marc to "come on over".

Jane Lynch was great, a wonderful personality, funny and she's got the greatest laugh. Marc told her that he loved her as "The Bathroom Expert" when she was the spokesperson for Clorox. She took a few minutes and chatted with us and posed for a few pictures with us and laughed at our jokes.

After we had accomplished our mission, I knew there was more trouble for us to get we went to seek out the bathroom.

Let's just say that we defiled her bathroom, only to find out that she wasn't staying in that suite!

But here's a video so you can see what we at least did to someone's bathroom!

The HRC Event was nice, lots of people dressed to the nines, expesive cocktails, and good dinner conversation - although Marc and I got there late and had to sit with our backs to the screen so we had to turn around on our chairs for the whole event.

We had a great time and I'm glad that Marc invited me to go with him - although I'm sorry Fausto was sick - his loss, my gain!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Gas vs. Printer Ink

My roommate sends me the funniest emails. This is an oldie but a goodie and it makes a whole lot more sense now with gas in the range of $4.50 a gallon in the Chicagoland here goes it.....

The price of Gas versus Printer Ink

All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are.... You will be really shocked by the last one! (At least, I was...)
Compared with Gasoline......
Think a gallon of gas is expensive?
This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19.........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1. 25 ... ...... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 .. $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap?

So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at...............(you won't believe it....but it is true........) $5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)

So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...

And - If you don't pass this along to at least one person, your muffler will fall off!! Okay, your muffler won't really fall off...but, you might run out of toilet paper.


So my question to you is: How much do you pay for gas?

Yaz - a concert review

I went to see Yaz the other evening!

I posted my review over at The Examiner, please click and go check it out : -)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I shudder at Shutter - A 5 word movie review

This post was originally written when Shutter was still in the theaters, for some reason I never got around to posting it. But now Shutter is finally out on DVD, so thus my review is no longer out of date.

So here's my 5 word review:

Wasn't scary, she was dead.


Originally written on 3/27/08
Last night while on an evening with with The Best Friend he said "Hey, The Boyfriend and I are going to go see Shutter, you wanna go?"

"When's the show?" I asked. "7:35" was the reply, less than an hour away.

So we stopped our walk and hustled instead to the train and made our way North to the movie theater.

One good thing I can say about Shutter is that it's a short movie.

The most interesting thing about the movie was that it was set in Japan. From what I understand this movie is a remake so it is interesting they didn't change the locale but only the characters.

Overall it was a very predictable movie, there was only one "thing" that surprised me, other than that you know when something is about to "happen" so you can brace yourself.

The female lead was a bimbo, ho and jealous wife all rolled into one!

Several times during the movie the woman would say "I don't know why she's here" I would then raise my hand and say "Oooh...ohh....I know why....I know why...."

The "ghost" wasn't scary in the "oh my god it's a ghost" kind of scary, she was just there and happened to be dead.

Having just watched the Ringu (the original Ring) with a friend, this was nothing by comparison.

As a side note, I rented the original Shutter (which happens to be a Thai movie) and it was much better than the remake - but then isn't that the way it typically goes?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

A Day at the Beach

A Day at the Beach
Originally uploaded by Michael_L
Wow what a day yesterday turned out to be.

We had torrential downpours all night which effectively destroyed what we thought would be our fourth consecutive Saturday at the beach and I had to be at work by 6:15 am to monitor a deployment to our website.

But, the gods that look over homos cleared the skies and gave us a glorious day and because of the rain there were very few boys at the beach, so we had lots of room.

We saw a mass baptisim at the gay beach, we watched a sand sculptor at work, we played games and had lots of drinks. Marc from The Feast of Fools even came and hung out with us for a few hours - and that was just the day until 3:00 PM

Click on the picture for more photos from the day.

Friday, July 11, 2008

If you're having sex with dead people you can't live in Wisconsin

Wisconsin has finally made it illegal to have sex with a dead person.

Here's an article from the Star Tribune in Wisconsin:
MADISON, Wis. - Wisconsin law bans sex with dead bodies, the state Supreme Court ruled Wednesday in reinstating charges against three men accused of digging up a corpse to have sex with it.

The court waded into the grisly case after lower court judges ruled nothing in state law banned necrophilia. Those decisions prompted public outrage in Wisconsin and on the Internet, where one blogger wrote: "Doing the dirty with the dead OK in Wisconsin."

Not anymore, the court ruled in a 5-2 decision.

Justice Patience Roggensack, writing a majority opinion with three other justices, said state law bans sexual intercourse with anyone who does not give consent whether a victim is dead or alive at the time. Dead bodies obviously can't give consent, she said.

"A reasonably well-informed person would understand the statute to prohibit sexual intercourse with a dead person," she wrote.

The decision brings Wisconsin's law in line with more than 20 other states who prohibit necrophilia or the abuse of a corpse, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. California joined that group in 2004 after prosecutors said they couldn't bring charges in some cases without an official ban.

The law in Wisconsin had been murky, and two dissenting justices insisted Wednesday that lawmakers did not mean to ban necrophilia but to allow assault charges when someone was raped and then killed.

The ruling reinstates attempted sexual assault charges against twin brothers Nicholas and Alexander Grunke and Dustin Radke, all 22. They face up to 10 years in prison if convicted.

Armed with shovels, a crowbar and a box of condoms, the men went to a cemetery in Cassville in southwestern Wisconsin in 2006 to remove the body of a 20-year-old woman killed the week before in a motorcycle crash, police said

My question to you though is: I wonder why two judges didn't agree?

New post at EXAMINER.COM

Hey folks, just thought I'd tell you that I have a new post over at The Examiner.

If you click HERE I'll get a credit...go ahead, click on it, you know you want to.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008's a secret

You wanna know a secret? Well I just found out that the Feast of Fools guys announced on today's show that they're going to be part of a reality tv show.

Can you imagine those guys on a reality tv show? It'll be totally outrageous, I don't even think that my imagination is even strong enough to try and figure out what those boys would be up to!

That's amazing and exciting for the boys...I wonder what it's gonna be?

Monday, July 07, 2008

Keyword Roundup!

I love looking at the keywords that drive people to my blog. I'm sure it drives them absolultely bonkers when they're looking for one thing and then end up in my part of the world....poor things.

But here are some of the best Keywords as of late:

- Porn Star Blog (Remember, they're only porn STARS if I know what their name is, otherwise they're just Porn ACTORS)
- the Little Prince Quiz (is this a hot quiz going around now, I have no idea?)
- Is Paul Konrad/Tom Skilling/Dean Richards/Pat Tomasulo Gay (these are all of the anchors on our local channel WGN)
- How to eat your own pussy (I assume they're talking about frying up your kitty, because how in the world could you eat your own pussy - unless you're a contoronist)
- I work as the manager at an insurance company (congratulations, lord knows what you were doing here though)
- worlds oldest stripper (People are STILL looking for that picture - it's disgusting I tell you) - stanky ho (why thank you, I like to think I am)
- 703-656-9940 (this is the number that shows up when the NRA calls - perhaps they've been busier now that Chuck Heston died)

And my most favorite of all
- why do shemales have dicks (uhm, because they're chicks with dicks, that's why)

Saturday, July 05, 2008

What a Great Weekend

Pre-4th of July Fireworks
Originally uploaded by Michael_L
I hope that your weekend has been going well, mine has been spectacular so far.

I wanted to share this picture with you because I think it's so freaking cool, and especially the way that it happened.

Two of us were taking David's picture, I had my camera set correctly, my friend did not, but we somehow timed it exactly so that I was able to use his flash but maintain my camera settings.

So far this weekend, I've had more than 20,000 hits to a single page on, I've seen fireworks, been to the beach and still have one more day to take it all in and probably even take a nap tomorrow.

If you'd like to check out the rest of our 4th of July photos, check HERE

A New Lip Dub - I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry

Thursday, July 03, 2008

I'm frigthened Mommy

OMG, I don't know what's going on here....someone "Stumbled Me" and since 2:30 this afternoon I have gotten more than 4,391 hits....uhm, I'm typically get like 50 or 60 hits a day.

All I can say is that whoever got my Entrecard Advertisment today, sure got their 4 credits worth!!!!

So I went over to Stumble to see what was going on....Holy Crap, there's 13 comments over there calling "me bogus" and wacky science with nothing to back it up.

Well it probably is bogus, it came from one of my Sisters emails, now people are talking about me that I don't even know....and I'm scared.

I think they're gonna come after me and burn my house down, bu, I'm off to watch the fireworks, hope everyone has a good Fourth of July!!!!

Oh My God - I've Been Stumbled On

Have you ever been over to Stumble Upon?

It's like Digg where users submit stories and then other people can "vote on them"

Remember that story I did a few weeks ago about interesting things your body does? Well someone Stumbled it and I've gotten more than 300 hits in like a 2 hour period.

Oh My God - What's a boy to do?!?

OMG - Barack Obama is my friend on Flickr!

I'm sure that you're aware that I have a Flickr page - don't you? If you weren't, I'd suggest you'd click HERE and go over and take a look at some of my not so fabulous photos.

So the other day I was looking through other people's photos and I came across Barack Obama's Flickr page, so I friended him. Sure it's all political and stuff and shots of him schmoozing with the common people, but I like Barack and I feel the need to support the next President of the United States of America.
Well you could have slapped me across the face and called me Sally when I got a reply back in my Flickr mailbox that Barack had "friended" me back. WHOA NELLIE!

YEAH, Barack is my friend on Flickr and believe me you, he's a whole lot better than that Tom guy over on MySpace or whatever.
Maybe I will get an invite to a State Dinner after all.

Oh yeah, don't tell my sister, she's one of those Republicans - and she actually likes McCain?!?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Barkeep, I'll have a......

What was the first drink you ever ordered in bar, whether you were of legal age or not?