Wednesday, August 20, 2008

They've ruined Clue

Well Hasbro has gone and done it....first they did it with Monopoly by getting rid of the paper money and forcing everyone to use credit cards to do their transactions. Just making future kids now have no idea of the concept of money - just charge it!

But now they have has gone and fucked with the classic game - Clue.

I can understand the need to "update" a game to make it more relevant, but the reason that some of these games are classics is because they were unchanged and yet they were still fun to play.

Hasbro has decided that it's time to make the game more relevant, make it more accessible to the kids growing up now and more familiar with them. I mean who has a conservatory or a library in their house now? I know I don't (I never did) but it was still fun to think of a house that did have those things.

First they updated the characters - everyone gets a first name now, no more formality for you! The new names are: Kasandra Scarlet (a tartlet actress who's always in the tabloids); Jacob Green (now an African American, with "all in the ins" what exactly does that mean??); Jack Mustard (no longer a colonel but now a football player); Victor Plum (downgraded from a Professor to a Video Game designer - granted he probably makes more money now); Eleanor Peacock and Diane White fill out the rest of the cast.

They retired some of the weapons: the lead pipe (I guess it's bad to whack someone over the head now); the revolver (shooting is overrated - plus it makes a lot of noise); the wrench (not really needed unless you're a plumber); and they added some new weapons: the dumbbell, a trophy and poison.

They took it one step further and actually redesigned the mansion, ...they even added some new rooms.....NEW ROOMS?!? Oh, there's now a Theater (I mean who doesn't have a home theater nowadays); a Spa (WTF?) and get this....there's a Guest House (I guess they're expecting OJ to come visit).

Oh but get this....there's even more....apparently each character has a "special power" that will help them discover clues faster, they've even added new cards called "intrigue" and "clock" that can eliminate players.

I'm very sad to see another part of my childhood fade away into the dust, as this new version is not going to be added to supplement the current version of it's going to replace it!

I just hope they still give you that little pad of paper so you can write down your answers and solve the mystery! But now we're gonna have to say "It was Kassy in the Guest House with the Poison because she was so distraught over her latest film not making $185million on it's opening weekend."

I'm gonna go cry now.


The Big Finn said...

There's always ebay!

Kat said...

Well now I'm going to search relentlessly to find the old version for when my 4 year old is big enough for it.

Michael said...

TBF - OOhhh...maybe I could sell all of my childhood games and make millions...oh wait, I already tried that with Beanie Babies and that didn't work.

Kat - You should still be able to find the original version on the shelves now, the new version isn't due out for several more weeks....hurry to The Red Dot Boutique!

RcktMan Rick said...

They really should market a "Classic" version for those of us who want to play it as we knew it. If I'm not mistaken, you can still buy a "Classic" version of Monopoly.

Funny though, when I was a kid, we used to write checks and use "credit cards" when we played Monopoly. Of course, the game went on for not hours, not days, but WEEKS that way... lol!

Ice John's World said...

Save your tears when the movie based on that game come out next year or so.