Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Decision to be made for Obama's IL Senate Seat

The news in Chicago is burning up......the disgrasced Guv, Blagojevich, is making an announcement for his appointment to Obama's IL Senate Seat.

This after he's been arrested by the Federal Government and been asked by the IL Government to step down.

Just the other day his lawyer proclaimed in pre-trail something or other, that all of the evidence that the Feds have is irrelevant because Blago only talked about doing these things, but never followed through. So talking about is ok, it's the doing it which is bad and he never did it.

Everything on the news is about Blagojevich, him getting into his car going to the office, it's funny to actually see Rod working now, perhaps this was just the boost he needed. He lives near where I work and almost every day in the summer when I leave the office for lunch I would see him running the wrong down a one-way street towards me. I would always wave at him, smile politely and then yell out my window "Why aren't you in Springfield?"

The news channels here are burning up this morning, all they're talking about is the Guv's decision to hold a Press Conference this afternoon at 2PM CST to announce his appointment for President-Elect Barack Obama's Illinois Senate Seat (whew, that was a whole lot of keywords there). Everyone is on saying how this is so bad, that SNL is making fun of us, that the Guv has basically been told that the House would not even accept any appointment he made and that they're almost ready to start impeachment proceedings, that he should stop...but he won't. They're saying his decision is wrong and that this wasn't just something he thought up over night and it's obviously been in the works for a while, that overall it's just wrong.

What I find most interesting though is......if you're holding a Press Conference at 2PM to announce your appointment - then WTF do you pre-announce your announcement and name names?....Why even have a press conference at that point? Just update your Facebook page for god's sake.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Why is it that popcorn and licorice smell better than they taste?

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Why do stupid people try to use the self check out at the grocery store? You should have to pass a test to use them

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

What's that funky smell?

**I originally wrote this on November 9, but for some reason I saved it instead of posting it**

What smells like burning rubber, incense, a pine forest and an orange grove? Give up? It's our house.

Remember a few weeks ago when I told you about a run-in I had in the neighborhood? And just a few days ago when I had a text conversation with my roommate?

The Roommate came home on Friday evening and as he has done hundreds of times before, let the dog out in the backyard to pee before going to bed. Everything was normal on Friday except that there was an unseen visitor in the yard.

It was that darn Skunk that we've been seeing around the neighborhood and apparently he got quite a scare out from the dog and decided to raise his tail to both the dog AND my roommate.

I was in bed, asleep, when suddenly there was this strong smell of burning rubber in my room. I immediately recognized it as skunk spray and thought - well guess I'm not sleeping with the window open tonight - only to realize that my window was already closed. The smell got stronger and stronger, almost to the point of making me gag.

Somehow in the madness of all that was going on, The Roommate came back into the house and the dog followed him. The dog was freaking out because he had gotten sprayed in the eyes and he smelled like a pile of tires that were on fire. The smell kept getting stronger and stronger.

Panic spread throughout the house as I was slowly waking up and grasping the situation. The Roommate is standing dumb-founded by the front door while the dog is frantically rubbing his face onto the carpet trying to get the skunk oil off of his face.

I quickly banished both of them to the backporch and told the roommate "You've got to wash that dog NOW." Even though it was 12:30am, a dog that's been freshly sprayed with skunk isn't something that you really can let go until morning to take care of. Skunk Spray is pretty wicked stuff - even though the dog and The Roommate were only in the house for a few minutes the smell was penetrating everything. I quickly closed doors and windows while I tried to figure out how we were going to fix the situation.

I grabbed the laptop and typed "remove skunk spray from dog" into google and came up with more answers than I cared to filter through.

Surprisingly, most of them did not go for the old wives tale of the use of "tomato juice" as the end all be all to get rid of skunk spray. The tricky thing with Skunk Spray is that it's an oil so using water does nothing to neutralize the smell, you've got to break down the oil. Most told us to use a combination of Vinegar or Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda - you create a type of "oxygen generator" that supposedly bonds with the Skunk Spray and breaks it down.

I got him set up with the tools he needed and tried to figure out what I was going to do. It would be impossible to sleep in the house, the smell was overwhelming to the point of extreme nauseousness. There was no sleeping going on at this house tonight. Fortunately The Best Friend lives around the corner, I called him to tell him what was going on and he extended an offer of their couch for the night. I told them I'd grab my pillow and be over.

The Roommate was up until almost 3am washing the dog and trying to get himself cleaned up - to no avail because who has "skunk wash" just sitting in their pantry.

I got up early Saturday morning and ran to PetCo to buy some "Skunk-b-Gone" and specialized deodorizers. The Roommate spent at least 6 hours cleaning the house, mopping the floors, doing laundry, cleaning surfaces, scrubbing the walls. The problem with skunk spray is that once it gets in the air, it will settle everywhere. It is so invasive that it was on our coats, even though we had not even opened the closet door.

While I was laying on my friends couch, the only thing that I could smell was skunk, it had gotten into the hairs in my nose and my goatee. If I was having issues like that, I could only imagine how bad it was for The Roommate that had gotten sprayed and was covered in wet dog and wet skunk.

After two days of scrubbing and the use of multiple bottles of specialized cleaners the house is almost back to normal. One of the problems with Skunk Oil is that if you miss just a little bit of it, it's a little bit too much because it is so potent. He's probably going to clean the floors at least two more times and we'll still have a scent in the house.

Now we're afraid to go in the backyard and walk in the neighborhood after dark because we called the City and Animal Control no longer comes out to trap skunks....possum and raccoons are fine but not skunks. So we're getting the word out to everyone to have their eyes open because we don't want them to have to go through the same thing The Roommate did.

So it's official, Skunk Watch 2008 is ON and it's on with a vengeance.

**UPDATE - After a few weeks and several more scrubbing downs, the house is back to normal.  The dog got a really bad eye infection that required eye drops and if he gets wet he still smells like skunk.  ***

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Whoopie Pies

Whoopie Pies
Originally uploaded by Michael_Lehet
Look what I made today....they're great with hot chocolate. Come on over, I'm waiting for you.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Just in time for Christmas: A burning cross for your front yard and other offensive gifts

Just what everyone has been waiting for a 5 1/2 foot tall burning cross that you can put on your front lawn to tell your neighbors exactly how you feel.

Or perhaps this is a gift you're supposed to give and not actually put up at your own house. I bet the assembly instructions say that you're supposed to deliver it in the middle of night and to make sure that you cover yourself with bedsheets so no one knows who you are.

Oh wait, no they're serious it's got 210 individual ultra bright lights and it comes courtesy of American Family Association oh those sillies, they're calling it a "Christmas Cross", uh huh!

It may be Christmas, but Santa isn't the only one coming to town. Oh no, the faggots are coming too. The AFA wants to show you that they're not just prejudiced against some people, they also don't like the Homo's. They've gone and created a fabulous DVD titled They're Coming to Your Town, sounds scary doesn't it. Look at that FABULOUS cover art, it just screams gay doesn't it?

This 28-minute documentary will fill you in on all the details of how a few renegade homosexuals have infiltrated the once pleasant town of Eureka Springs, CO and made it their own. You go you crazy homo's!

At a cost of only $14.95 this DVD is a steal, I mean that works out to less than 50 cents a minute for hate and bigotry - make sure you get some for Grandma and Grandpa they won't want to miss out.

Those lovely and caring folks over at AFA suggest that you buy a 5-pack and share with your friends because I'm sure this is one nailbiter that will have you watching it over and over again. And it's just in time for you to buy and stuff in little Timmy's Christmas Hate Stocking.

Oh those silly Christians, they don't like anybody do they?

Westboro Baptist Church protest fails at Center on Halsted

Photo Credit: Michael Lehet (flickr)

On Saturday, members of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, KS attempted to spread their word of hate on the doorstep of the Center on Halsted in Lakeview.

Westboro members have been in town for the past week protesting at many sites throughout the city including several consulate offices and President-Elect Barack Obama's transition office downtown.

Their attempt to protest at the Center on Halsted was halted when more than 100 people showed up to counter protest Westboro members and overwhelm the message they were trying display to the residents of Lakeview.

The Westboro members did not have enough courage to protest in front of the Center on Halsted, instead they chose to spread their hate a block away in front of the Police Station at the corner of Addison and Halsted.

The Westboro members were quickly surrounded by the mass of counter protesters who used large sheets and large posters to effectively "block" the view from passersby.

The most despicible act by the Westboro members, besides carrying signs that said "Fag Xmas" was that they chose to involve small children in their activities. Most disturbing was an adorable blonde hair child holding a sign that said "God Hates Fags"

As the Westboro members were surrounded by concerned citizens of the Neighborhood and the Community they quickly decided that they were far outnumbered and asked the Police for an escort into the police station where they could seek refuge.

No arrests were made and a peaceful counter protest was effective in stopping Westboro from spreading their hateful protest. Several passersby made the statement that "You can spread your hate where ever you want, but you can not come to our front door and expect us to sit here and let you do it."

For more info: Visit Center on Halsted and to to become more involved in your community visit Join The Impact

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Michael is taking a poll - What are you doing for New Year's Eve, enter your answer here: http://ping.fm/0O3Yb

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich

I am SO proud to be an Illinois resident today - NOT!!!!!

Due to the bad behavior of our current and former Governor's we have been dubbed "The Most Corrupt State in the Union"

This morning at 6:15am, a mere 3 minutes after my alarm went off, our illustrious Governor Rod Blagojevich was plucked from his Northside Chicago Home and was forced to march in the snowy weather and go directly to jail. He didn't pass Go! and he didn't collect $200, although he did have to post a $4500 bond.

The Attorney General has been tracking Blago by wire taps on people and on his phone. They are saying that the governor "allegedly" used his power as Governor to attempt to "sell" Barack Obama's recently vacated Senate seat. As well as mail and wire fraud and solicitations of money via bribes.

Well, I guess with that said....who wants to slide some money my way....perhaps we could have a few back alley liasons or meet in dark parking lots like Deep Throat.

So aren't you glad that you don't live in Illinois today.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Michael has to go into the office at Midnight tonight! I hope I can stay awake for it!

Violated - and not in the good way

I need to give you a little backstory first. Last Wednesday was our last day of work before the Thanksgiving holiday and when I got home from work I parked my car on the street (right in front of the house) and it sat there until Monday morning when I again assumed the position. Also it snowed on Sunday night, not a lot of snow, about a half inch, but enough to cover the ground and the car.

So as I go to the car bright and early on Monday morning I hit the remote to unlock the hatchback of the car to grab the ice scraper and then the lock for the doors. I grab the scraper and head over to the drivers side door to hop in and start the car so it can warm up....only there's a laptop bag on my front seat?!? What?!? That empty laptop bag was in the hatchback area of the car, what was it doing all the way up here.

I glanced around the car and realized that both of the backseats were tilted down (so you could get into the hatch area) and that my cupholder inserts were on the passengers floor (don't ask, I don't know why my cupholders have inserts either). It then dawned on me that SOMEONE WAS IN MY CAR!

Fortunately I keep nothing of value in my car - nothing! The only thing in my car are gas receipts, some quarters for the parking meter, an ice scraper and cd's in a holder (not even in their cases), the laptop bag that was in my car was empty because a friend had given it to me for another friend who I have not had the chance to see yet.

Apparently last Wednesday when I got home from our Holiday Shopping and my hands were full I forgot to push the button to lock the doors and someone must have been walking down the street trying all of the doors to see if they could find one that was unlocked and mine was!

They stole the few pennies that I had in my cupholder and the quarters that were there for the parking meter and I'm sure that they were duly pissed off when the laptop bag was completely empty!

All I can say is that I'm thankful they didn't trash the inside of my car or break any of the windows and only stole about two dollars worth of change.

I did get my revenge though, because I had five singles stuck in my ashtray that I had forgotten about and apparently they didn't think to look there. So folks if you're gonna hide money in your car, hide it in the ashtray because criminals don't want to look in dirty places.

Oh yeah, and Happy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

An Amazing Grace Christmas House

Remember the house a few years ago that was all decked out with lights strobing to music? Well you've got to see this one!!!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Milk & Meat

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long.....I had been hoping that with the end of summer things would slow down, but they did just the complete opposite - it's gotten busier!!

And now that we have snow on the ground I'm hoping that things WILL slow down - but they don't look like they're going to.....my oh my!
I wanted to let you know that those fabulous boys from the Feast of Fools - Fausto Fernos and Marc Felion - invited me over to their studio to record a podcast with them. We talked about all sorts of things from the Hershey Highway to the new movie Milk with Sean Penn to gender morphing Polar Bears!