Monday, March 16, 2009

Dixie Longate meets the Bears

What happens when you take a Luxury Coach, stock it with beer and vodka, fill it with bears and point it towards the suburbs of Chicago?

No, we didn't have passports, no we didn't burst into flames when we passed Western Avenue and no we didn't end up at an Outlet Mall!

Instead we went to a Tupperware Party, specifically Dixie Longates Tupperware Party!!! WHOO HOOO!!!

Remember last year when I headed off on a Roadtrip? I had been alerted to the existence of Dixie Longate by the delectable StevieB who had arranged his own caravan to travel from Denver, CO to the comfy confines of Des Moines, IA to attend Dixie's Tupperware Party. I just couldn't pass up the chance to meet a fellow blogger AND a the fabulous Dixie Longate so I jumped in my car and headed over there myself.

It was while I was there that I found out that she was coming to Chicago and I just knew that if I had driven 6 hours - alone - in a car - that would just have to go see her again, especially since she was so close, but of course I didn't want to go alone, I had to take my friends with me.

After I returned from Des Moines I called a buddy of mine that is known for throwing some fabulous parties and setting up an annual bus trip to the Gay Rodeo down in Crete, IL to see if he would be interested in collaborating on a trip to see Dixie.

Fortunately, I was able to convince them that boys would be interested in seeing a Drag Queen sell Tupperware and we started filling up the bus.

After months of careful planning it all came together on Saturday as we jumped on the bus, put on our seatbelts and got ready for a bumpy ride (and not because of all of the potholes that line the streets of Chicago).

We had a bus full of Gay Boys/Bears and 2 Lesbians - heck we needed someone to change the tire on the bus if we got a flat - and headed out to the burbs to buy some amazing plastic crap!

After we got on the road dance music was jamming on the stereo and we were handing out cocktails and beer getting the boys into the "buying mood" that Dixie likes so much.

We arrived in Aurora just in time for the boys to have a quick smoke, grab another cocktail and find their seat in the theater.

For some reason I thought that it wouldn't be an event without beads, and you know what, I was right. As I was passing tickets out to everyone I made sure that I slipped some beads over their necks. Fortunately I had some left over and when I entered the theater with a handful of beads....oh my those straight girls went crazy!

I don't think I've had that many women after me...well EVER! As I was walking to my seat a woman with the nametag of "Sandy" on it coyly called me over to say hello....only to find out, she wasn't interested in me but wanted my beads instead. She even offered to flash me to get some beads but I told her "Oh no you don't! But hey, let me go get the Lesbians quick, they'll probably enjoy it!" After I doled out the last of my beads to the straight girls they tossed me to the side and told me to find my own seat as my services were no longer required! Oh those girls!!!

As always Dixie had the audience in stitches, literally she cut them with a knife and then she stitched them back up (no she didn't) but she had us laughing the whole time. My stomach hurt from laughing so much.

During the show Dixie called some audience members up to the stage to compete in a Rimming Contest! Two of our bus crew were picked to go up against two straight girls to see who the best rimmers were - and can you believe it? The gay boys won! And no, it's not the type of rimming you are thinking about right now, what kind of Tupperware Show would that be?

After the show Dixie met everyone out in the foyer and took pictures, signed autographs and shamed people into buying some Tupperware, I mean it is a Tupperware Party after all!

We then reluctantly all got back on the bus, only reluctantly because we were having so much fun with Dixie that we didn't want it to end, but at the same time everyone was a little bit afraid of having to spend the night in the burbs! We got back into the city, just in time for Midnight Shots at Big Chick's!

I just can't get enough of Dixie. I was talking with a friend of mine that lives in Dallas, TX and told him Dixie was coming to his neck of the woods in May. At which point he said "Well why don't you come down?" seeing Dixie in three different cities that aren't in any that I live in....does that make me a stalker? Not as long as the police aren't involved it doesn't!

So, how was your weekend?

1 comment:

Freddyeyes said...

ok now THAT"S brilliant! I wish I was in the van with the boys when they met in IA but this Bus Idea is GREAT so what we'll do is get Dixie out here in Denver and we'll make it a world tour for you! Deal!?