Saturday, February 25, 2012

Classic Post: My First Senior Discount

Classic Post, originally dated 4/17/08, never published

My parents are snowbirds and every year they have the chance to spend a few months in the warmth of sunny Central Florida. And if all goes well, I also get to spend some time in sunny Central Florida with them.

Earlier this year, I had the chance to go to Orlando for a tradeshow, so I combined some vacation time and spent extra time with my parents. My parents are still young and they are far from ever being retired, and where they spend their winters they're surrounded with people in the same situation.

I love hanging out with my parents, we have a great time laughing, drinking, playing games and just "hanging out." When my parents go to Florida they really go to relax because the other 9 months of the year they're working their asses off.

When I was visiting them earlier this year, it was my mothers goal to make me drink a gallon of Rum in the 6 days that I was needless to say - we have a great time when we're together.

It's funny living the "semi-retired" life as my parents have such a routine. Monday night is Bingo (Which by the way is freaking hilarious in how regimented it is.) Tuesday is concert night at Silver Springs - where they go and set up their chairs early in the afternoon so they have a good view. Wednesday is Golden Corral Night - where you can eat as much as you want - and some people spend a LOT of time in there. Thursday is Card Night at the Hall - where you take your jar of nickels and pennies and hope to come home with more than you left with. Friday night is the night though it's discount night at the Chinese Buffet - where they have actual Crab Legs on the buffet and not those declious Krab Legs.

So Friday night we hit the Chinese Buffet - well before dinner time - because dinner time in Central Florida is rush hour for the rest of the world. Everyone loves this Chinese Buffet, not just for the aforementioned Crab Legs, but because they also give a substantial Senior Discount for those diners who qualify.

As is always, when i'm with my parents, they pay the bill - it won't be any other way, it's just like when I was a kid and we'd go out to dinner. It wasn't until we were finished with our dinner and on the way out that my mother proudly proclaimed to all Seniors in attendance that "Michael got his first Senior Discount tonight" and everyone started clapping. Unbeknownst to me, when my Dad was paying (which you do before the buffet) he said "Three for the buffet" and the lady taking the money assumed that he was paying for three seniors, not just two.

So I'm proud to say that not quite 40 years old, I've received my first official Senior I'm just waiting for my AARP card to arrive.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Classic Post: Flippin' Channels

A CLASSIC POST: Originally saved on 5/15/08 - never published.

As you may recall, The Roommate and I got rid of Cable TV a few months back as we were sick of paying the outrageous price for flipping through 600 channels of nothing.

The first few weeks after the cutoff day were rough. We went cold turkey! No TV at all. I would come home from work, flip on the tv (for background noise) and instead of hearing the canned laughtrack from The Bernie Mac show there was nothing. And due to advances in technology there wasn't even the sound of know that noise I'm talking about? Just nothing.

We had NO broadcast TV in the house at all, fortunately we did have my collection of almost 500 DVD's. Eventually we didn't miss TV because we were doing other things. Like reading Vogue and clipping coupons from the Sunday Paper.

The Roommate broke down first and got an antenna for his room, he "claimed" that he was having problems waking up without the morning news. I fell off the wagon shortly after, because I missed going to sleep listening to the soothing sounds of David Letterman. An antenna now adorns my bedroom dresser pretending to be "art."

So now I find myself sitting here doing the same old thing....flipping channels. Only this time I have far fewere channels to choose from. From flipping through these 20 channels, I've learned a few things.

- Most of those people ARE NOT smarter than a fifth grader.
- There's 58 different "court" programs, from the People's Court to the Baseball Bat Court
- Sometimes I wished I knew what they were saying on the Chinese Channel because everyone laughs a lot.
- Sometimes it's ok to not understand what they're saying, especially on the Mexican Dramas.....aye papi! How do you say "Take off your shirt" in spanish?
- Sometimes when you don't want to watch tv you force yourself to watch the chinese channel so you get bored quickly and then go pick up that book that you put down because you were bored.
- I miss TiVO
- I don't miss the Cable Bill that came along with the TiVO
- If you don't understand it on one spanish channel, you're not going to understand it on the other.
- You know you're really not paying attention to the tv when you've been watching the original 1978 Superman for 30 minutes before you realize that it's in spanish.
- PBS is better than the Discovery Channel
- I don't really enjoy the church programs on Sunday morning, so now I just sleep in.
- Why do they always have British people trying to sell us stuff on infomercials? I think the english accent is meant to make us throw our good judgement out the window. Hey that's what happens everytime Andrea comes for a visit!
- White Trash is White Trash, whether it's in English, Korean or Spanish.
- I never quite understood that old lady in Babar, it was like a reverse cartoon where she was the only one of her "kind."

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What I Love & Hate about America

I love that in America, when someone is "done" with their artificial Christmas Tree (yes I used the Christmas word - get over it) they will put it out in the alley, in one piece, put together, so that it will get picked up by someone who will recycle it - hopefully by using it!

I hate that in America, someone pays an exorbitant amount of money for a fresh tree and when they're done with it they dump it in the alley, not even by the trash containers, and leave the lights on it because their too lazy to take the 15 minutes to remove them because the price of new lights is so cheap.