Saturday, May 31, 2014

Stop that train!!!!

On the way....

I live in Chicago, we have lots of public transportation options including the CTA bus, the CTA train, and the Metra commuter train.  I live two blocks from one of the commuter train stops which conveniently drops me off right at the doorstep of  my office - can you get more convenient than that?

One of my inner joys is watching people run for the Commuter train, why?  Because it doesn't have an as often schedule as the CTA and it's more likely that it will be an hour before the next train - unless it's rush hour when it's maybe every 15-30 minutes.  The stop where my office is, is one of the busiest commuter train stops - like crazy busy - so there are always people who are "running late."

To give you a lay of the land, the Metra stop is not at street level, you've got to climb about 25 steps or so to get to the platform and it's next to a major intersection, which means there's always people running late and lots of cars.

I've seen people dart out into traffic, almost getting hit in the act, to get across the street and up those stairs. I've seen people a block away start running at full speed to get to the train sloshing coffee in their path to let everyone else have to walk through.  I always find it comical because if they would have just left 5 minutes earlier they wouldn't be running, and oh yeah, the Metra schedule (at least on my train) is pretty spot-on, occassionally it may be early by a minute or late, but most times it's right on!

So imagine my joy this morning when I actually brought the train to work.  I had alighted from the train (the second second car mind you) walked the length of the platform and descended those stairs and was almost across the intersection when a man comes running across the street (against traffic) yelling "Hold the train!  HOLD THE TRAIN!"

I never understand why people yell at the train to wait, do they really think the train is going to wait, just for them?  They must, otherwise why would they yell it.  They feel so self-important that even though they're running late, the train had better damn well wait for them.  Don't mind the dozens of other people who were able to successfully leave their house and navigate to the train platform ontime.  Don't mind the dozens of stops prior to this one where people were able to successfully make it on the train.  Don't mind any of that, because I can't manage my time and you had damn well better hold that train!  Otherwise they'll write a strongly worded Yelp review that will explain just how mean you were for not holding the train.

Guess what, they didn't hold the train, and I giggled inside!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Oversharing at the Gym

I've been going to the gym lately and actually working out, instead of just paying the membership fee and never going.

Recently a new location of the gym I belong to, opened up near my office - hooray - I can go to the gym during lunch.

Have just enough time to get there, change, work out, shower and be back to the office in an hour - it's rushed, but it happens.  And it's been happening more and more, which I'm really happy about.

Today while I was in the shower, I noticed that the guy catty corner from me had his shower curtain REALLY opened.  I'm not a gawker, but I would glance over and I realized that he had intentionally left his curtain open.

He was intentionally trying to share his Wee Willie Winkie with me, wasn't that nice of him?  But the joke was on him, because I didn't have my glasses on.  I hope it was pretty.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Deeohji: Bunny Killer

So it's happened.....Deeohji killed a rabbit.

Well technically he didn't kill it, but he was involved in it's demise.  On our after work walk I was surprised that we saw 4 bunnies....during daylight hours that's crazy - but these bunnies are getting brazen!

We're almost home, walking down the "hill" that is Ridge Ave when we spot a bunny on the verge.  The Verge, you know, that green space between the sidewalk and the street. So we stop to look, like we always do.

Deeohji is stock still, the leash is slack and I can see his chest moving rapidly as he's trying to "smell that bunny."  The bunny is stock still going "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."  It's a Mexican stand off of types, dog wanting to look at bunny, bunny wanting to make a quick escape.

The bunny is at an advantage even if he doesn't know it, Deeohji is on a leash, so all he can really do
is run in a six foot circle.  So we're standing.....we're looking......we're sniffing and then it happens.

The bunny twitches, Deeohji lurches and the bunny tries to make a quick escape......into the street.....just as a van is coming down the hill, gathering speed, going faster and faster and CRUNCH.

Fortunately there was a row of cars and a tree between us, but I stood there, mouth hung open, hand over my mouth saying "oh my gawd, what just happened?"

It's official, Deeohji is a bad ass bunny killer!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

19 States Now Allow Same Sex Marriage - Where is it all taking us?

With the announcement from my home state of Pennsylvania earlier this week that they would now allow same-sex couples to get married it got me to thinking.

Currently 19 states allow same-sex marriage, that's almost 40% of the country, and it's amazing.  It's inevitable that we will soon have the Federal protections that marriage allow - perhaps by Presidential Executive Order on Obama's last day.  Wouldn't that be a nice present?

It got me to same-sex marriage is going to change America, especially television.

Think of all the new reality programs that they can recycle, but this time have it filled with gay casts......for example:

Groomzilla - we thought it was funny when it was the bride, so will it be funnier if it's a gay man?

Say Yes to the Tux - for the discerning gay man and the butch lesbian.  Will it be as interesting and tear inducing as the original?

Marriage Boot Camp - now with all the gay drama - could you just imagine!  I would watch that shit all night long....the cat fights, the bitchy queens, oh yes!

Gay Housewives of New York - oh wait, they already did that with The A-list, but that did not work at all, even more so when they moved it to Texas....those were obviously straight producers and they didn't know any better.

So what reality program would you re-cast with an exclusively gay cast?