Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Way back in 2005 I conducted an unofficial poll to find out what Jolly Rancher flavor was the most popular.

One of the results of that poll was also finding out what flavor was the least popular.

The other day as I was walking back from a friends house I stopped in one of the little bodegas and they had this big container of Jolly Ranchers on the counter, only a nickle a piece.

But what got me was the predominant flavor that was in the container was GRAPE - the same reviled flavor that I discovered way back when.....only now, here it was in real life.

People had the choice to get whatever flavor Jolly Rancher they wanted and almost everyone has left the poor little Grape one in the container.

It was just funny to see the Jolly Rancher Experiment on a larger more public scale and they came to the same results as I one likes Grape.

But we like Grapes and Grape Jelly, so why not Grape Jolly Ranchers?

Why don't you like Grape Jolly Ranchers, you need to explain yourself?

Sunday, July 06, 2014

Why do you torment me like this

F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

That's what runs through my mind ever afternoon about 3:30....that time when it's a few hours after you've eaten lunch and still quite sometime before dinner.

That time when you've got a rumbling in your tummy but there's nothing to eat at your desk, well besides Jolly Ranchers and Hershey Bars!

That time when you think you're just going to fall over because the pains in your stomach are causing you to fold in half to hide the noises emanating from deep within you.

Damn you Little Debbie, I hate you for being so crunchy and oh so delightful!

Why do your crisp wafer layers have to be separated by smooth peanut butter and dipped in a light but ever present chocolate topping? WHY?

Why can't you taste like a stale tortilla chip dipped in rancid guacamole?

I hate you for being so convenient as well. Why do they have to put you in the vending machine where I can easily obtain you? Why don't they only sell healthy things in that damn machine? WHY? That's all I'm asking, WHY?

I hope you burn in hell Little Debbie, that's all I pray for every day. Well that's what I wish for every day when I'm munching on your lovely sweet goodness (uhm, get your mind out of the gutter please).

Rot in hell Little Debbie, Rot in Hell!