Wednesday, August 05, 2015

In Transit

I feel like a kid today.  I'm waiting for the mail to deliver a package I've been waiting for, for a very very long time.

I got email notification the other day that my "Quarterly Box" had shipped and to just "click here to check delivery status" which is like the worst thing in the world!

Do you remember the first time you ordered something through the mail as a kid?  I think my first mail disappointment were those damn Sea Monkeys.  But oh the excitement of reading the ad at the back of the comic book and then saving money for them.

All the while thinking "I'm gonna have some damn Sea Monkey's man....I'm gonna be da shit."  You're already thinking of tricks you're going to teach them because the advertisement said that they were highly trainable.

Then you've saved up enough money and convinced your mother to take you to the post office so you could get a money order for the exact amount of those Sea Monkeys and their dreaded "postage and handling fee" and you stamp the envelope stuff in the money order and hand it off to the postman and tell him to take "dear care of this, I'm getting Sea Monkeys."

And then you wait.....and you wait.....and you forget....and then you remember.....then you wait.....then you wait.......then about a month in you get nervous.  Did something happen to my order?  Is the mail man conspiring against me?  Did i not include enough money?  Every day you come home and ask "did I get anything?" which comes back with a resounding no!

There's no phone number to call, you can't ask the mail man because how the heck would he know where your package was, you couldn't write another letter because it most likely would pass in the mail and you do not want to piss off the Sea Monkey people because they apparently have the monopoly on the much needed Sea Monkey Food!  So you just wait.

Suddenly in one of those forgetful periods, you come home from school and there's a box there and it's got your name on it and it's all beat to fuck.  But you don't care because you just got some god damn Sea Monkey's my friend!  Suddenly you forgot about the time consuming process it took you to get something, you HAD what you wanted!  Hip hip hooray!

So yeah, I ordered the Digg Quarterly and it's being delivered today via US Mail.  And I've been downstairs THREE times already to see if that mail lady has been here yet!

Actually I think my first "mail order" was actually a disk drive for my Ti-99 4/a.

What did you order when you were a kid?

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