Monday, December 25, 2017

Zelda Breath of the Wild is giving me heartache

I bought the Nintendo Switch earlier this year - only to play the new Mario Kart.  I mean that's the only reason I upgraded from the original Wii to the Wii U - Mario Kart.

But then I bought Zelda: Breath of the Wild (you need to read that with a dramatic flare). 

When I was a teen I never played D&D, I was programming on my Ti99-4/a and installing satellite tv systems with my dad.  So I've never really played a "role playing" game where you follow a story, blah blah blah.

Probably the closest I came to an RPG was Pitfall on the Atari 2600 - but then you really didn't have that many choices - but you had some choices and there was only one button!

I haven't played Mario Kart since I bought Zelda - how fucked up is that?

Zelda is driving me crazy!  Since I don't really understand how the whole RPG thing works, I really don't know WTF I'm doing.  All I did was climb mountains and run through the trees for like 5 hours, somehow getting from one side of the plateau to the other and not knowing what in the world was going on.

But I kept going and I finally sort of figured things out, but I was using Youtube Walkthroughs and online guides trying to get me through.

I ended up going to an actual brick-and-mortor book store to buy the Official Guide because Amazon and every other online venue was sold out of them.  I couldn't believe I was buying a book for this game, but then I saw it and said "OH FORK" this is crazy.

I already know that I will never ever see the end of this game, there is just too much shit going on.  I mean you have to collect food and cook it, but if you cook some things with other things you get other shit which gives you this power which you need if you're going to go to this area and do this thing that monster....SHIT!!!!!

I read that book for two days to understand what monster was gonna give up what weapon if you killed them in a certain area and looked at the food and the recipes and the walk throughs, but damn the print is so small I almost was tempted to go out and buy a magnifying glass, but I thought that would be a little old guy, playing a game that he doesn't understand, using an Official Guide to just figure things out and on top of it using a magnifying glass - perfect!  So I squint!!!!

I've really enjoyed Zelda, I did get to a point where I had to reset and start over.  I had gotten to a place where I should have had a certain piece of clothing and something else and I figured it would be easier for me (second time around) to actually do the things the correct way and learn the skills along the way - so I started over again.   Second time was much better, especially since I had the internet, YouTube, wiki guides, Facebook groups and the Official Guide to help me along.

I've gotten to a part where I'm sort of freaked out, because I have to kill these monsters before being able to move on, and I do not have the skills at all!  I suck at fighting, I really do.  I've been playing it via handheld because when I play it on the big TV I get vertigo from looking down from the mountains. 

So I'm sort of frozen, afraid to play because it's gonna take me a long time to get through them, but also knowing I can't play a quick 10-15 minutes to just move forward a bit.  I'm on vacation for the rest of the year so I'm sure that I'll find some time to commit to getting past this point and I'm sure that with all the tutorials and stuff even I will be able to do a combo-parry, jump off a monster and tap dance on his head with the best of them.

I mean what good is it to fight these monsters, can't we all just be friends? 

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